Chapter Thirty-Three
ADAM
It was a mistake. It wasn’t enough. That was the fucking problem. It wasn’t enough. And our first time shouldn’t have been this stolen fucking moment in a car. Especially this shitty car of mine. She deserved more. She deserved luxury, and hours of teasing and pleasure, before I would finally be worthy of sliding deep inside her.
I hated the Bennetts so much in that moment. Even Cass. Because every one of them had managed to come between me and the woman I was falling in love with. And because of them, I had to leave, before I risked her safety. Putting her first would be the one honourable thing I could do.
“You okay, little angel?” I cupped her face again, and she nodded, her eyes closing as she pressed into my caressing fingers.
“I don’t want that to be the last time for us.” She whispered, tearing me apart with more of those damn tears. I didn’t want tears. Never tears. Not from her.
“Please don’t cry, Julie. I’ll find a way to come back to you. If I survive these bastards, nothing will keep me away from you. I promise.”
She wrapped her hands around mine.
“We could run together. Leave here, at least for a while. You’d have time to recover.”
Fuck me… I couldn’t have wished for anything more in that moment. I just couldn’t be sure we weren’t already being watched by someone who worked for those bastards. I needed her far away from me. Fast.
Sliding my burner phone from the central console, I speed-dialled one of the taxi companies, and booked an urgent pick up for her. She watched me with those doleful eyes the whole time.
Finally, we eased her back into her own seat, where she set to covering up those gorgeous legs by dressing again. I hated every second of that.
I was a mess, and not just emotionally. She’d dribbled my cum all over my lap, and legs when she moved. I didn’t care though. All I cared about was getting her to safety. By the time the taxi pulled into the car park, we were both dressed again, and sitting in silence.
“I’m sorry.” I said quietly. “I’ll come back for you. If you’ll still have me.”
She shot me a fierce glare. “You’d better, Adam. Don’t let me down.”
I think I fucking love her already.
She marched over to that taxi, and got in, and I watched her leave, feeling like a cloud had just passed in front of the sun, and stolen all the light and warmth forever.
It took me longer than it should have, to get out of the car, and move around to the driving seat. She’d passed me my keys as she left, so I started the car, and struggled to adjust the seat, because it was a little too close for my legs.
Driving home was painful. Changing gear was damn near agonising. I drove past my house three times, before I risked parking down the road, and watching the place for a while. I needed to pack some shit, and figure out where the hell I’d go. And what would running achieve, anyway? They’d probably find me wherever I went. And if I didn’t put a stop to them, I’d never be able to come back.
Fucking hell. My life was a mess, and I had no way out. I rested my forehead against the steering wheel.
“What the hell am I going to do?” Nearly forty-five, and hiding like a scared child. Planning to run like one. I’m stronger than this. I shoved the burner phone in my pocket, and slid out of the car. It occurred to me then that without my normal phone, which was in pieces in the boot of the car, I didn’t even have Julie’s number. I couldn’t even check that she made it home safely. It was just one more fucking frustration in a long line. I fought the urge to put the phone back together, just to message her. But we’d said our goodbyes, and it’d only hurt her more if I immediately started messaging her again.
It was past lunchtime, and I was starving again. I needed more pain pills. I checked the outside of the house for any sign of intruders, and saw none. It didn’t necessarily mean there weren’t any, but eventually, because I was out of options, I had to let myself in. I moved as quietly and slowly as I could, pushing the door closed as quietly as possible.
I stopped and listened for sounds, and heard nothing outside of the norm.
Letting out a small sigh of relief, I leaned against the wall for a moment, steeling myself for the activity ahead. Finally, pushing away from the wall, I turned to head for the living room.
**********
JULIE
Once the taxi dropped me off, I ran inside, and slammed the door, locking it tight. As soon as I’d been separated from Adam, I’d become consumed with fear. Whatever danger was coming for him, that he’d tried to keep away from me, suddenly felt like it was snapping at my heels. In trying to protect me, whether he’d managed to or not, he’d left me afraid and alone, and with no idea what he was running from. I had no idea who might be a danger to me, because he’d told me nothing.
I could run for help to someone, and step straight into the clutches of the last person I should trust.
I mean, I’d trusted Harvey, and he’d turned out to be a bad man. And what if that’s exactly what Adam was too? A bad man? He’d wormed his way into my life, he’d taken up residence in my head, and my heart.
I’d just had unprotected sex with him, for god’s sake. That wasn’t the sort of thing I’d normally do. I always played it safe. And yet, right now, I could feel his cum oozing out of me, soaking my underwear. What if he had some kind of STD, and I’d just let him infect me with it?
And then a sudden thought sent ice right down my spine. We’d had unprotected sex, and I hadn’t taken my pill this morning. Because I’d been at his house. Did I even take it yesterday? Or the day before? I suddenly couldn’t remember the last time I’d remembered to take it. My god.
I slumped to the floor, my hands covering my face. What if I’d just let him impregnate me, and then disappear from my life, leaving me to deal with the consequences alone? I had no idea what to do, or who to speak to, or where to go for help.
I dug out my phone and looked it up. The article I opened said to take the missed one, even if it meant taking two today. But the damage was already done. I could get a morning after pill. That option was always there.
And then I realised something. I couldn’t kill our child. If he’d just made me pregnant, could I really take steps to destroy that?
If a child was supposed to be born out of our brief union, did I have any right to give that up?