Chapter Fifty-Two
JULIE
He wouldn’t stop blaming himself, and I supposed, in the back of my mind, I agreed with him a little. If he hadn’t disappeared whenever he had, and stayed away, then I wouldn’t have been alone when Jeff turned up.
I felt a wave of revulsion, as I endured yet another flashback. My clothes being torn away, his hand on my throat, as he undid his trousers. Oh god.
Adam rubbed my hand. “Hey, look at me, little angel. I’m right here.”
I tried to focus on him, but all I could see was Jeff Clarke’s face, hovering over mine, as he relished my pained reaction when he shoved inside me. The way I screamed. My stomach roiled.
“Julie? Shhh come on, breathe, just breathe. I’m here. I’ll stay right here.”
“Like last night?”
His mouth dropped open; his face horrified. “My god. I’m so fucking sorry. Honestly, I will never stop being sorry for leaving you alone like that.”
I shook my head. “Sorry. That just slipped out. I don’t blame you.”
He reached for my glass of water, holding it up for me. “You should. You should absolutely blame me.”
I took the water, and sipped it for a moment. I was trying really hard not to let my mind show me pictures again, because every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was Jeff’s face hovering over mine, as he thrust into me, over and over, every painful thrust making me cry out. The way he seemed to enjoy the pain he was causing me.
Someone touched my hand, and I screamed, pulling back. I felt an icy cold sensation washing over me.
“Julie! Julie, it’s me. Dammit. I’ll get the nurse.”
**********
ADAM
I stepped outside of the room, and grabbed the nearest nurse, sending her in to help Julie. She’d thrown her water all over herself. But worse than that, she’d screamed. She’d screamed, and pulled away. From me.
I staggered back down that hallway, half blinded by tears, and pushed open the heavy doors, the blast of icy cold air stealing my breath.
“Fuck.” I dropped down onto the steps, barely noticing the bone-chilling coldness of the stone beneath me. I felt like the world was ending. I felt completely hollowed out. I wanted to scream. Cry. Yell. Kill him again. Instead I sat in silence, with my head in my hands, my eyes burning.
A hand rested on my back, making me jump, before the owner of the hand sat beside me.
“Fuck that’s cold.” Marco. He just sat quietly beside me, until I couldn’t take the silence anymore. Silence meant that my mind could dwell on what had happened, over and over again.
“He raped her.” I finally muttered, and Marco let out a kind of growling noise.
“Fucker had to die. You did the right thing.”
I pulled at my hair. “He fucking raped her.”
He grasped my shoulder, squeezing it lightly, staying silent.
“Oh god… she… she freaked out when I touched her. Because he… raped…her…” I felt a wave of intense despair wash over me, and then I was sobbing, and I couldn’t stop.
I couldn’t man up, and not be a pussy, in front of the toughest man I knew, because I was breaking. For her. For what she went through. For failing her. For everything that I couldn’t fix or control, or undo.
And Marco? He just sat with me, squeezing my shoulder, and not saying a damn word.
When I could finally breathe again, I wiped at my face.
“Jesus. This is such a fucking mess. I had no right to get involved in her life. If I’d stayed away, she would have been safe.”