“Dude, are you for real? I mean, sure, sorry, but cut me some slack here, I’m in a huge rush.”
“Do I look like I care?”
That hits me hard in the gut for two reasons. One, he’s right. He shouldn’t care. And two, I’m in the wrong and yet I’m still not backing down, either. Why is that?
I’m not usually the confrontational type, but there’s something about this man that sort of… stirs things inside me. Things I’ve never let out before.
His lips part slowly. His blue eyes focus on mine. I’m making him mad, and I can feel the others watching us closely with renewed interest. I certainly don’t wish to be at the center of unnecessary drama. And still, my smart mouth insists.
“Do I look like I care that you were first in line?” I ask, raising a defiant eyebrow.
“Ah, I see common sense has died.”
“Miss, the gentleman was waiting before you,” the barista tries to tell me, but my bruised ego isn’t listening. I keep my focus on the man, whose dark curly hair falls over his forehead in playful, messy tumbles that make my fingers itch. What would it feel like if I just ran my hand through his hair?
“I cut in, and I’d like to get a coffee before I go in front of an audience,” I tell the man. “Trust me, I don’t usually do this, but time isn’t on my side today. I’m nervous and barely functional. Please, can you just let me have this?”
He shakes his head. “Life isn’t fair to anyone. I don’t see what makes you think you deserve special treatment.”
“Wow. If at first I felt bad for cutting the line, consider that feeling erased. You’re an ass. I hope you choke on your soy latte,” I blurt back and walk away from the bar as my blood simmers in silent rage and shame. Nothing is working out the way I need it to, but if I keep pushing against the universe, there’s a chance I won’t like how it pushes back. “Prick.”
Muttering a slew of curses under my breath, I leave the hospitality area behind and dive into the steady stream of attendees currently spilling through the ground-floor level. The event hall is massive and spread over several sections. Mine is at the far end, judging by the printed signs plastered everywhere.
Shame burns hot in my cheeks as I replay what just happened in my mind. Dad would be mad. Mom would probably have a few words for me. My brothers would likely laugh their asses off.
It's what usually happens when the only girl in the family does something out of character.
It’s funny. It’s supposed to be funny.
But this is me taking life by the horns because I’m determined to carve my own way through it. I’ve set insanely high standards for myself, and failure to achieve them will end with me spiraling into madness, I’m sure. I cannot even conceive the prospect of not achieving my goals.
And as I reach the event section allocated to my specialization I realize… everything I have ever done hinges on this particular moment, on the very talk that I am about to give regarding the potential for technology to improve emergency response outcomes in communities across the country. Every single day I spent studying and reading on the topic has brought me here, and so I cannot walk back out with my head down. I need to walk out of here with the kind of job offer that will have made everything worthwhile. I have deprived myself of a normal adolescence and college youth experience in order to get here.
That’s why I lashed out at that guy.
I’m nervous beyond control, and it’s about to get worse.
Forcing a smile, I find one of the event coordinators buzzing along the stage’s LED-illuminated edge. Everything has been unraveling so fast since I fell out of bed, I can barely understand what it is that I’m supposed to do next. I tap the young woman lightly on the shoulder to get her attention. “Hi, excuse me…”
“Hi, yes?” She whirls around and I take a moment to register her white pantsuit and plethora of coral-abundant jewelry, along with the big, colorful badge on her upper arm. “You look familiar.”
“I’m one of the speakers, actually. Olivia MacArthur?”
“Oh, of course! Glad you made it. You’re up next, actually. Sorry, I’m Callie, nice to meet you!” She shakes my hand with the vigor of an electrocuted Viking, making my voice tremble as I respond.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, too. I’m kind of nervous. I thought I was gonna be late.”
She nods. “We’re on a tight schedule but don’t worry about it. Come on, let’s get you up there and get your slideshow up on the display.” Callie firmly hooks her arm through mine, yanking me out of the swelling crowd.
More and more people are coming in, and I can see the front row getting packed. My heart’s racing as I realize they’re all on one Forbes list or another, all of them CEOs of major tech companies both old and new.
“Is this your first time presenting at SanFranLabs?” Callie asks as we walk over to the tech guy at the opposite end of the elevated stage.
It’s weird up here. Everybody can see me. And there are plenty already watching me. “Yeah. I just got my PhD… This is actually the project I got it with.”
“Congratulations. It’s an amazing milestone considering how young you are!”
“It’s actually my second doctorate…”