But everything else was a fucking shit show. After I told her to not confuse her emotions, the rejected expression on her face didn’t sit well with me.
My eyes land on Lara, who’s eating so fast she’s bound to get indigestion.
“Slow down, Lara,” I order, my tone harsh.
She swallows hard on the bite, and keeping her head lowered, she obediently murmurs, “Yes, sir.”
Christ almighty.
Throwing the napkin down, I stand up and walk around the table. I take hold of Lara’s hand, tug her up, and drag her after me.
“What did I miss?” Nisa asks as we leave the dining room.
“Hush and eat,” Babaanne’s voice caries after us.
I pull Lara to the study and shut the door behind us before turning to face her. Her eyes are wide on me.
“Things went wrong last night,” I say. “I didn’t mean to make you feel rejected.”
She nods, her full attention on me.
I exhale and let go of her hand. Locking eyes with her again, I continue, “You’re free to feel whatever you want.”
Her tongue darts out to wet her lips. “Just to make sure and I don’t get in trouble, is it okay for me to like you?”
Her question takes a swing at my heart.
“Yes, Lara. You feel whatever you want. Just make sure it’s not for the wrong reasons.”
“Okay.” The corner of her mouth lifts. “Thank you.”
“Jesus, don’t thank me,” I mutter. I take hold of her shoulders and pull her against my chest. Wrapping my arms tightly around her, I press my mouth to her hair, and close my eyes.
She feels so fucking good.
I don’t know how Lara did it, but she has me wrapped around her little finger.
I’m starting to feel things for her, I haven’t felt in a long time. Protectiveness for someone that’s not family.
Possessiveness that makes me want to selfishly claim her innocence.
I want this woman to obey only me. I want her to live to please my every wish. I want to dominate her.
It’s fucked up.
My arms tighten around her as I take a deep breath of her fresh scent.
When I met Lara, she was definitely not the most beautiful woman. But, during the past month and a half, that all changed. The more I got to know her, her beauty surfaced.
She has zero experience. She’s nothing like the socialites I’ve dated in the past. But she has a heart of gold and her inner beauty shines through. She’s refreshing, and I can’t stop the need to possess her from growing inside me.
Her innocence is fucking intoxicating, and it’s starting to drive me insane.
Slow down. You need to think about this.
Letting go of her, I put some distance between us, then mutter, “Go finish your breakfast.”
I wait for her to leave, then shut the door behind her.
Letting out a frustrated sigh, I walk to the window. I cross my arms over my chest, and not taking in any of the scenery of the backyard, I start to dissect my feelings.
What I thought was compassion has changed into something else.
It’s that pure heart and fucking innocence of hers.
Christ, it makes me want to force every ounce of submission out of her so I can devour it. Lara makes my dominant side flare to life like nothing else has been able to do.
So what are you going to do it about? With a snap of your fingers, you can have her kneeling at your feet.
That’s not what I want.
I don’t want her pleasing me out of fear. That does nothing for me.
I want her eagerness.
I want her to melt beneath my touch and seek strength in my arms.
And all of that will take time.
First, she needs to be ready, and I have no idea how long that will take.
In the meantime, I’ll have to be patient, and I’ll encourage her whenever I get the chance, so it feels as natural as possible for her.
So you’re really doing this? You’re pursuing Lara?
I let out a humorless chuckle, thinking I don’t have much choice in the matter.
The heart wants what the heart wants.
Chapter 27
Lara
After I was sick and the intense conversations with Gabriel, things seemed to have calmed down.
It’s been a week since he gave me his permission to like him, but I haven’t seen much of him.
Every day Nisa teaches me how to make something, and in the afternoons, I either sit and knit with Alya Hanim or we walk through the garden.
I no longer rush to clean the house as fast as possible but take my time with each room.
Standing in Gabriel’s room, I dust all the surfaces. When I’m done, I pick up his laundry basket to take it downstairs. His woodsy aftershave wafts up from the basket. I take hold of the shirt at the top, and bringing it to my face, I take a deep breath.