Anger spit in waves around him. “Don’t throw away your virginity for some society crap that tells women to seize the day. It should be special, with someone you love. Not used on a physical fling with no future. The answer is no. You can argue and cajole and tempt me all you want. I am not going to sleep with you or engage in a short affair that could ruin our whole foundation. I won’t risk it.”
Raw need burst from her belly and strangled her. It wasn’t going to work. Her one-night fantasy was just that—a fantasy. Deep down, she just wasn’t worth the risk to him. Another experience that told her she wasn’t the type of woman to drive a man so mad with desire he’d break the rules. Even half-naked and throwing her pride away. Dear God, even her seduction attempts were centered around a logical conversation of assets and liabilities for an affair. Humiliation burned. She craved to crawl into her bed, pull the covers up over her head, and cry. Just like she’d done so many times in her past when she realized Maximus Gray could never want her in the crazy way she did him.
The dream wafted away in a cloud of smoke, almost like a mirage. Max gazed at her with concern. The same damn look he always gave that could never satisfy or scratch the surface of her darkest fantasies.
Maybe someone else could.
An image of Sawyer flashed in her mind. A man interested in her like a woman, not a childhood friend. With him, she may be able to experience everything she craved. Maybe it was time to take the leap into the unknown. She was so tired of going to bed night after night alone. Lonely and unsatisfied at twenty-six years old. How sad was that?
Slowly, she blotted her lips with the napkin and forced a smile. “I guess your decision is made.”
“Trust me, this is best for all of us involved.”
She nodded. “Understood. There’s one thing you must promise me though.”
“What?”
Carina lifted her chin and met his gaze. “Let me go.”
He blinked. “I’m sorry I upset you, cara. Please don’t tell me I’ve lost your friendship. It means everything to me.”
She forced back the tears that burned her lids. “You’ll never lose me completely. In a way, I think I’ll always be a part of your life. But I can’t play this game anymore. I need to move on and make my own choices, on my own terms. Tonight, you made the decision to cut the ties between us. You lost your right to tell me who to sleep with.”
He gritted his teeth and leaned forward. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to disrespect yourself in order to get back at me.”
A humorless laugh escaped her lips. “Dio, how arrogant. And you have every right to think that, because I’ve given you so much power. But not anymore. I won’t sleep alone tonight. And that’s not because I’m disrespecting myself, you bastard. It’s because I’m finally claiming what I’ve wanted for a long time. A man who makes me explode with pleasure and can take me places I crave to go. A man to hold me and give me orgasms and share the night with. You gave up that right tonight.”
“Carina, don’t.”
She pushed her chair back and stood. “If you have any respect for me at all, you’ll leave me alone. I deserve that, Max.” Carina put her napkin down. “Thank you for dinner.”
“Wait.”
She paused. Seconds ticked by. The sounds of the busy restaurant flowed around them, the click of silverware and glasses, the ringing of laughter, the slide of the boats cutting through the water below. She waited as he seemed to struggle with his demons. A muscle in his jaw ticked.
A turning point hung between them. Her heart pounded and she waited for his final decision. His carved features twisted into a tortured expression and he opened his mouth. His words hung in the air like a cartoon balloon, blank until the artist sketched in the final ending.
His mouth closed. He gave a curt nod and she gazed at an unemotional stranger who made his decision.
“I won’t bother you again.”
Her throat tightened but she kept herself together. When she walked away, she refused to look back.
• • •
What had he done?
Max stared at the jumble of plates on the table and clutched at the edges of his sanity. He grabbed his wineglass, drained the rest of the liquid, and signaled for a refill. The evening turned into a disaster and he wasn’t even sure why a crazy panic pumped through his veins.
He’d made the right decision. Fuck, the only decision. There was no way he could take Carina to bed for one night, claim her virginity, and go back to business. Why couldn’t she understand that?
I’m not sleeping alone tonight.
Sawyer.
Her final words haunted him. Would she seek his friend out to prove a point? Was she attracted to him? What did she mean by “dark desires” or “fantasies”? His fists clenched in his lap as an array of images taunted him. Carina naked with another man. Carina moaning, head thrown back, biting down on that lush lower lip as some stranger pushed inside of her. Carina murmuring another man’s name.
He fought the rage and madness and reminded himself to calm down. First off, she talked a good game, but he doubted she’d go through with it. She’d probably flirt a bit, dance, maybe even kiss someone to satisfy her curiosity. All he needed to do was keep his distance and an eye on her. He wouldn’t interfere, and she’d never spot him.
When her experiment ended, they’d go back to New York and maybe things would calm down. She’d date some nice man who was worthy of her and didn’t have any hang-ups. Someone nice and younger and respectable. Not an older, jaded, screwed-up male who had commitment issues like him. Being with her in any capacity was a guaranteed disaster. He’d hurt her and would never be able to stand himself. He’d lose Michael’s friendship, respect, and his career.
A one-night stand just wasn’t worth it. Not even with a woman who soothed his soul and made him crave to be a better man.
Chapter Ten
“Did you enjoy your dinner with Max?”
Carina sat in a private skybox above the Tao nightclub. Sawyer met her at the door where the famous twenty-foot Buddha statue greeted guests. Shocked at the dueling contrast of raw sexuality and soothing spirituality the club offered, Carina knew she’d made the right decision. Skimpily clad females bathed in huge marble tubs of rose petals, while the red walls and candlelight warmed the senses. It was a place to lose herself and her inhibitions. The hip-hop music whipped the crowds into a frenzy, but Sawyer immediately took her elbow and guided her upstairs to a suite hidden behind lush velvet curtains.