I sigh in relief and wrap my arms around Camden, needing to hug him. “Thank you,” I tell him, breathing in his warm, comforting scent. “I don’t know what the future holds, but I can tell you that right now, I can definitely use a friend.”
“This is all the information you need in case of an emergency.” I hand David a folder that contains copies of Felix’s insurance card, birth certificate, social security card, his pediatrician’s number and address, the local hospital’s information, my phone number (I know, I know, I’m acting crazy), my mom’s information, and a bunch of other numbers he might need.
“Poison control?” he asks, glancing up at me and raising a brow. “Do you really think all of this is necessary? I’m his dad. I can handle things. I don’t need a file on my own kid.”
“Please take it, just in case,” I insist, my heart pounding against my rib cage at the thought of my little boy leaving for the weekend. Of him possibly needing me and me not being there. This is why so many women stay in bad relationships—for their kids, so they can be there for their kids. Because the worst part of being divorced is having to let your child walk out the door without you over and over again. What if he gets hurt? What if he has a nightmare and calls out to me in the middle of the night? What if…? What if…? What if…?
“If there’s an issue, which I doubt there will be, I can just call you.” He closes the folder and drops it onto the table.
“Yeah… I know,” I say, picking it back up and handing it to him again. “But just in case. Please.” I debated whether to tell him that I’ll be in California this weekend but decided against it. For one, he’ll give me tons of shit for it, which will sour Felix’s first weekend at his dad’s. He’s already been acting off since we moved here and got divorced. I don’t need to add to his craziness right before I leave our son in his care for seventy-two hours. And also, I don’t want to deal with him. He’ll eventually find out, but for now, I’m okay with him not knowing. It’s not even his business, but I’m sure when he finds out, he’ll try to make it so, as well as try to make my life a living hell.
The problem is, by not telling him, he thinks I’m going to be here in New York, so he doesn’t understand my need to make sure Felix is taken care of. It will be my first time without my little boy for longer than one night, and on top of it, I’m going to be across the damn country, where I can’t just jump into an Uber and get to him in minutes.
“Whatever,” he grumbles, shoving it into the front pocket of the suitcase Felix packed. David and I explained to him that he’ll be getting his own room, but he’s only four and doesn’t get it, so he insisted on packing his favorite stuff to take with him.
“I’m ready!” Felix yells, running down the stairs. When he stops in front of us, he glances at me. “Mommy, you have to put on your shoes so we can go to our new house.”
Oh, jeez… Because I didn’t already feel like the worst mother in the world for ripping my son’s family apart—even though it needed to happen and is for the best.
I get down on my knees, so Felix and I are at eye level. “The new house is only for you and Daddy,” I explain. “This house is still mine and yours. You have two houses and two rooms. Sometimes, like right now, you’ll go with your dad, and I’ll stay here by myself until you come back here.”
Felix’s brows knit together. “But… I wanna stay with you. I don’t want you to be lonely.”
Be still my heart.
“I love you so much,” I tell him, pulling him into a hug. “And I’m going to miss you, but you’re going to have fun with your dad. I won’t be lonely, I promise.”
“Hey, Felix,” David says. “I was thinking we could go to the park this weekend. Maybe we can convince your mom to join us.”
“David,” I hiss, knowing exactly what he’s up to. The guy switches between hot and cold like a drunken Mother Nature. He’s either pissed at me or apologizing to me. He either tells me I’m a shitty person for ending our marriage or begs me to take him back. And just when I think he’s finally accepting where we stand, he pulls this shit.
“The park sounds like so much fun,” I tell Felix in an upbeat voice so he doesn’t catch on to the stifling tension between his parents. David might disgust me on a deep level, and I might’ve lost all love and respect for him, but he’s still Felix’s dad, which means I have to deal with him for the rest of our damn lives. His only saving grace is that his son absolutely adores his father, and I can’t simply take Felix away from his dad because of what went down between us. But one wrong move on David’s part, and I won’t hesitate to strike against him.