Chapter SIX ~ Cold Feet
Several days have passedsince Matthew left and I’m missing him already. I wish he could be back in my arms, but at least he will be back before our wedding. I’m excited about it because I have been waiting a while even though we were engaged close to two years ago. It’s a shorter engagement, but one that has been blissful. The colors of red and pink fill my vision as I prepare a rose flower arrangement. The smell of them filling the air as I peer over at Lexi and her hard work.
“Ouch, fucking thing pricked me.” Lexi groaned as she put the tip of her finger in my mouth and stopped the bleeding.
“Well, you should be more careful.” I giggled, and she jabbed me in the side.
“Roses are the worst.” She mumbled and went back to finish the arrangement.
I took a handful of roses and placed them in front of me. Cutting off the stems one by one at just the right point and placing them neatly inside the glass vase. Grabbing some green decorations to place around them and finishing it with a beautiful enormous bow wrapping around it. Ensuring there’s enough water inside to last until tomorrow for the big day. This was the biggest order yet. I just knew the bride and groom will be pleased with their purchase. The arrangements are lovely and I’d love them at my wedding.
“There’s the last finishing touch for this one and now onto the next.” I announced proudly and smiled brightly.
“I can’t wait for this dreaded order to be over...” Lexi moaned and snipped a stem. “I hate roses.”
I giggled at her and got lost in thought. All this wedding business reminds me of my special day. Exciting me for it as I work away and think about my own big day.
Our wedding will be outside and right here in town. Flowers will be everywhere with soft music playing in the background for the joyous occasion. It will be a small wedding with Matthew’s parents, but my own won’t be in attendance.
My mother isn’t welcome and I wish for her to stay far away from my life. The life I’ve created without her in it because her lifestyle was dangerous. It has always been and I’m lucky I made it out alive.
Lexi will be by my side as my maid of honor and Matthew had a best friend who would stand in as his best man. I’ve never met him, but I knew he’s in the military and Matthew’s sergeant. The one in command, but also the person who has always had Matthew’s back.
He described him as the greatest friend a guy could ask for and I would soon find out. Matthew promised to introduce me to him before the wedding and, with it being so close, it should happen when he returns from duty. I couldn’t wait because it’s a part of his life he barely discusses with me. He wants to keep that part of his life away from me, but I never quite understood why.
“All this wedding talk has me so excited for yours, Cassie.” Lexi announced as she gazed over a rose at me and her eyes sparkled. “Matthew is quite the catch and you’re so damn lucky.”
I smiled at her words and tapped a rose against her head. “Your time will come one day, my friend. The perfect man is just around the corner.”
Lexi groaned at the thought and frowned. “Well, I’ve been waiting a fucking long time and he can sweep me off my feet anytime.”
I know exactly how she feels, and before Matthew, it always left me wondering. Always uncertain of my love life and waiting for the one to come. The man to bring me comfort, joy, stability and love. Matthew is everything I could ask for and everything I’ve been waiting for.
But why do I constantly have this feeling that something was missing?
Why do I feel like something isn’t right?
“I think I’m getting cold feet.” I admitted as I frowned and exhaled. “I just keep having this feeling that something isn’t right.”
Lexi stops what she’s doing and turns to me. “Well, don’t, because Matthew is perfect for you. He’s nothing like that guy you had a passionate fling with and he left all those years ago.”
My hand froze, and his face came to my mind. His deep brown eyes were gorgeous, but rough. His brown hair that begged to be touched. And his tattooed body that made my mouth drool and want to touch every inch of his skin. His rough and rugged exterior left me with questions. But his last words left my heart swooning after him.
“What was his name again?” Lexi asked as she snapped her fingers and pressed her lips together with thought. “Dan, Danny...”
“It was Dante, Lexi.” I breathed as she snapped me out of my memory of him and nodded my head abruptly. “Yes, he’s nothing like Matthew, and they are complete opposites. We can both agree on that.”
“Yes, Dante, that was his name.” Lexi said as she sighed deeply and raised an eyebrow. “Boy, that man was a fine piece of ass, but really messed up.”
“Yep, and that’s all he was, just a one-night stand.” I said as I tried to convince myself, but I knew better.
I could remember it like it was yesterday, the undeniable chemistry that sizzled between us and made my body come alive. Somewhere deep down inside me, I knew we had that connection. A connection that made me want to know more, even though he held back and kept me at a distance. Feeling his eyes roam over my body and the temptation that was there. The temptation behind his rough and lustful stare. His assertiveness when he swooped in and saved me. But his aggression to remain in the shadows and leave just as quickly as he came.
Everything about his unwillingness pushed me to find out more. But once I did, there was no turning back. No holding back as he took me into his world and devoured me in a way no other man has. Letting go of it all and not caring what anyone thought. He made me feel wild and free. A feeling no other man gave me, not even Matthew. But Dante was a broken man, or so he had claimed. Even though he was so broken, something pulled me to him. Making me want to risk it all, trusting him.
And that scared the hell out of me.
“Exactly, so just let go of all this uncertainty and focus on your bright future with Matthew.” Lexi said as she smiled from ear to ear and her smile turned into a mischievous smirk. “And your hot honeymoon.”
“Yes, that will be the perfect getaway to remember.” I smiled, but everything about it felt fake, and I cleared my throat. “But we should get back to work, we have this big order to finish.”
“One that it will thrill me to finish.” Lexi groaned as we got back to work and would be ready for the next one.
Knowing that sometime soon it will be my turn. It will be my wedding that we will prepare for and knots form in my stomach. The nagging feeling falls over me once again, and I long to understand why. Matthew is everything I want and need. He’s my dream man I’ve always waited for and the perfect catch.
So, why did I feel like my entire world was about to crumble?