Chapter TWENTY ~ Undoing
It was a cool and windyday. My hair blew with the breeze and blocked my view. Trying to see the task in front of me and helping pack Dante’s truck. He offered to use it for the delivery and take it all himself, but I insisted otherwise. This was my business and the owner should appear at delivery destinations. I’ve taken enough time off and should get back on track. Getting back into the flow of things and this would be my first big delivery since Matthew died.
I watched as Lexi clenched some vases against her chest, and flowers tickled her face. I grabbed some as well from the countertop and walked them outside. Clenching them tightly against my chest and careful not to drop them.
One wrong move and we’d be behind.
Dante gathered behind me, and I could feel his eyes burn into my backside. Watching my every move as I make my way forward and towards his truck. Stepping down off the curb and leaning towards the truck’s cargo bed. Placing the vases effortlessly inside and turning around to take Dante’s arrangements.
Our eyes lock as our fingers brush and tingles spread over my skin. Giving me goosebumps and causing me to lose focus. It filled his gaze with concern, and I pondered what he thought. But it didn’t matter because I had a job to do and had to stay focused.
“What?” I asked as I shrugged my shoulders and took the arrangements from his grasp. I placed them neatly on the cargo bed and turned back to him with my hands on my hips. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I can handle this, Cassie.” Dante insisted as he pointed towards his truck and looked down at me.
“And I know you could, but it’s my business and my clients should see me making deliveries.” I said firmly as I stood my ground and wouldn’t give up without a fight. “I’m back and ready for this.”
“Okay...” Dante breathed as he stepped aside and let me through.
I brushed past him and tried to ignore the tension that radiated throughout the air as I passed by. It followed me as I headed inside and knew he was right behind me without even looking. Lexi had some more arrangements in her grasp and raised an eyebrow at me. I’m sure she could sense the tension, but didn’t dare speak of it. I continued on and grabbed some more vases. Trying to think of anything else and not the gorgeous man that seems to have my best interest at heart.
I stepped through the front door just as Dante’s questionable voice filled the air and directed towards Lexi. “So, how did your night go after we saw you last?”
“It must’ve been a good one because you didn’t show up for work the next day.” I mumbled with a smug smirk on my face and raised an eyebrow.
Thank god for the change in subject.
Lexi sighed and rolled her eyes. “It would’ve been great if his girlfriend didn’t catch us in bed together.”
“What?” I blurted out with disbelief and couldn’t believe what I just heard.
“Yep, you heard me right!” Lexi shouted with anger and embarrassment. “The guy was a complete asshole, and I needed to take the day off to recuperate.”
“What a jerk...” Dante mumbled in disbelief.
“You’re telling me, I think I’m done with men, they all suck.” Lexi muttered with defeat and placed the flower arrangements in the back of the truck.
Dante paused on the spot and frowned at Lexi. “Hey, now, not all men are complete assholes like that.”
“Oh, no offence to you, Dante, but I’m just done.” Lexi admitted as she shook her head and waved her hands in front of her face. “After that, I want nothing to do with men.”
“I’m so sorry, Lexi.” I breathed as I halted and hugged my best friend. My arms circled around her and held her tight. I squeezed her and didn’t want to let go. I could feel her pain and embarrassment. The defeat that she felt, and I didn’t want that for her. She deserved the world and so much more. “You don’t deserve it, but don’t give up on love. I just know it will find you someday.”
Lexi sighed with frustration into my ear. “Well, love is sure taking its damn time.”
I gave a slight giggle, pulled back, and smiled at her. “It will find you when the time is right.”
She gave me a slight smile in return and let me go. Returning to the job and I know I should do the same. The clock was ticking, and we only had so much time left. This order would not get ready itself, and I had to keep focused. I picked up where I left off and followed Lexi’s lead. Finishing up packing the back of Dante’s truck with the rest of the order and feeling accomplishment.
“I think that’s the last of it.” Dante announced, as he brushed his hands together and looked at me. “Are you positive about coming along?”
I giggled and patted his shoulder as I wandered past. “I love your concern, but I got this.”
“I’ll manage fine by myself, but probably close up the shop early.” Lexi said as she waved goodbye and kicked the doorstop out of the way. “See you guys later!”
We waved our goodbyes to Lexi and hopped into the truck. I glanced over at Dante as he rolled down his window and a slight breeze blew inside. Buckling my seatbelt and getting ready to take off. The engine started and Dante carefully proceeded out into morning traffic.
It wasn’t heavy for a small town, but still a fair number of vehicles on the road. The delivery wasn’t far away and at the one place I dread visiting. The same place where I longed to stay away from and only go when I’m ready. But I had to be ready, and I had to do this. No matter how I felt about it, my business needed me to succeed.
We pulled into the narrow lane, and my eyes followed the rows of tombstones. Some small and large. Older and newer. But the one that we needed would be fresh. It would be freshly dug and ready to place a casket inside. I turned around and peered back at the flowers all standing in place. Checking on them for any falls or breaks. But we had packed them well.
“There it is over there.” Dante said as the truck bounced slightly and I followed his gaze.
He kept his distance from our destination as he pulled the truck to the side and onto the grass. My eyes never left the sight before me in the near distance. Pulling at my heart as pain sears through and my nerves take over. My hands shake slightly and I clasp them together. Trying to hide them and bury the pain away. Digging it deep inside, but the memory is too strong. The pain is still so raw and I’ve just been lying to myself. Trying to move past what happened, but it’s still too soon.
Reality sets back in as Dante slammed the truck door shut and I blinked. Giving myself a shake and trying to put a smile on my face. These flowers need to be delivered, and it isn’t over yet. I could do this or at least try.
I exhaled and opened the door. Letting it stay slightly ajar as I make my way around to the back of the truck and reach for an arrangement. Holding it tightly in my grasp and only taking one. Feeling like that’s all I could handle for now and following Dante’s lead as we make our way forward.
The wet grass is squishy at our feet, and the sound is all too familiar. Keeping my head down and refusing to look until I need to. Trying to hold it together just a little longer because I have a job to do and a business to run. I didn’t have time to fall apart at the seams.
Dante slowed down in front of me and looked back. I met his gaze as he fell in step beside me and everything happened in slow motion. His expression changed to concern as my eyes left his and fell upon the grave site in front of me.
The freshly dug dirt, the casket waiting for the family and the tombstone. They set everything except for the flowers. The ones that I held in my grasp, but slipped away. Falling towards the ground, as my eyes can’t leave the sight in front of me and I feel myself slip away. I fell back to a time where the pain was so great and consumed me whole. Making me feel things I don’t want to feel, but have no choice.
Suddenly, Dante swooped in beside me and caught the vase before it fell. His body pressed against mine and somehow held me up. Unsure how he did it, but feeling lightheadedness and everything spinning. Realizing his powerful arm is around me and holding me steady. Trying to look away from the casket with my breathing picking up pace.
This was too much for me, and Dante had been right. I should’ve listened and stayed away. Coming back to the very place we buried Matthew was too much for me. I wasn’t ready, and I needed to get out of here.
“Calm down, Cassie, just breathe.” Dante said beside me as he placed the arrangements down and turned me towards him. “Breathe with me, baby.”