I have little to offer her I haven’t given to anyone else, aside from my heart. I’ve wanted nothing more than I want this woman to be mine and embrace it. I’ve never wanted to save a piece of myself for someone to take. But looking into her eyes right now as she rips my words apart, I know it will be worth it in the end.
I would gladly let her destroy the last shreds of humanity I’m struggling to hold onto for just a sliver of what I want from her.
“I’d let you, you know?” I say, watching her eyes narrow while waiting for me to continue. “Ruin me. Something tells me you don’t get the respect you deserve, so this is the only way I know how to show you. I’m not a good man, Mila, but I’d be fucking good to you.”
Mila has sat in the chair throughout these last several minutes, allowing me to speak without interruption. I can tell I’m overwhelming her by the way she shifts in her chair, so I step back. Allowing myself to absorb that rare moment with her.
I clear my throat, walk over to the fridge, and pull out a beer, nearly draining the bottle in three large gulps.
“Do you just have a sister?” Mila asks me, clearly trying to redirect the conversation.
“Just the one.” I shrug. “Her name is Xana; she’s twenty-one and out west, living the dream and going to college. Do you have any siblings?”
This mediocre conversation wasn’t one I’d ever thought I’d have with anyone, let alone Mila. I keep Xana’s name close to protect her, shouting that you care about something or that someone allows your enemies to take them from you. My baby sister is all I have.
Having Mila in my home and talking about siblings is not who I am. It’s too personal. Too intimate. But I can’t find it in me to care.
“Two.”
Her eyebrows furrow like she’s lost in thought.
“Brothers. One legitimate and one illegitimate. I’m closer to the illegitimate one,
though.”
“Blood brother a prick?”
Mila snorts, forcing a smirk to spread across my face when she looks at me and rolls her eyes.
“I’m worse.”
Darkness lurks in her eyes with a hidden meaning I’m not registering.
“So, two protective big brothers I need to win over?”
This time, she belts out a laugh.
“I’m the eldest. One is as soft and cuddly as a porcupine, and the other couldn’t care less what I do, as long as it’s not in his way.”
She sneers into her cup.
“I make it a point to make sure that’s exactly where I stand. In his fucking way.” Letting out a sigh, her eyes meet mine. “But the one you should be concerned about is my dad.”
He must be a front porch, rocking chair, shining his shotgun while meeting the man his daughter brings home type of dad.
Lucky me.
After around an hour of normal human interaction, I notice Mila’s eyes drooping with exhaustion. I finally talk her into going back to bed, and she relents by throwing her hands in the air and glaring at me.
Walking back toward my bedroom, Mila detours into a few rooms. I don’t stop her from poking around as she wishes. Watching her curiosity and unabashed boldness in snooping around someone’s home is amusing.
I nearly slam into her when she suddenly stops in front of me. Mila and my cat Lucifer stare at each other, and I chuckle as Mila’s face scrunches up oddly.
“Meet Lucifer,” I say, holding my hand out to my demon of a feline.
“What the fuck’s wrong with it?” Mila squints, bending down to get a closer look. “It’s mangey.”
I snort.