Isaiah
“You knowwhat you need to do, bro.” I sliced my attention to Brantley, who was resting his elbows against the dining table, looking more smug than usual. He picked up his soda and threw it back before wiping his mouth on his hand. “Just make her hate you. It’ll be the easiest way to resist her. There’ll be no chance to fuck her.”
To fuck her. Like that was all I cared about when it came to Gemma.
Cade chuckled from beside him. “Shouldn’t be hard.”
“Yeah?” I asked, slapping my hand down on the table, gaining a few quick glances from those who weren’t aware that I was seconds from flipping it onto its side. “And how’d that work out for you and Journey, Cade?”
I’d been angry and irritated all day. I couldn’t stand to look in Bain’s direction, knowing he had a part in last night, even if he wasn’t actively present. I had put all the energy I had left into saving face with Mrs. Fitz when she caught me dropping Gemma back at her room well after midnight, which meant, at the present moment, I had nothing leftover to give. My calming vibes and rational thinking were hardly in attendance today.
I could tell Mrs. Fitz had been skeptical when we departed, and why wouldn’t she have been? But if she had any suspicion that something other than tutoring was going on with Gemma and me, those suspicions were crushed during art today. Gemma wouldn’t even look in my direction, and every time I looked in hers, I wanted to hit something. Her eyes were red, and with the way that Sloane was currently glaring at me, it meant that Gemma had likely cracked when she went into her room last night.
She put up a good front until she turned her back to me and let out her little confession that would haunt me for the rest of my life. Noticing the shake in her voice and watching the lone tear fall down her cheek was so much worse than seeing her hatred brew.
The chip in Cade’s hand crumbled. “Fuck off, Isaiah.”
Brantley sighed. “Let him be. He’s just pissed because we were right.” He paused before smirking. “And because he saw us touching Gemma.”
My glare was murderous, and I could hear the ticking of the massive time bomb seconds from exploding inside my ears. I didn’t have time for this. Although Gemma felt like the biggest issue in my life at the moment, I was balancing something else that neither Cade, Brantley, nor Shiner knew about. Not yet, anyway.
“I’m pissed about a lot of things,” I said, my voice seemingly calm, although I still had a load of pent-up aggression simmering on the inside—which wasn’t necessarily a good thing. When I was angry but appeared calm and in control, that was when I made bad choices. I was tapping into that overbearing feeling of numbness that cooled my veins, and that was when Isaiah Underwood turned ruthless. “And yes”—I cocked my head at my two friends and dropped my voice—“seeing your hands on her body made me want to strangle you almost as much as I wanted to strangle my fucking father last night.”
Shiner peeked up when he heard what I’d said. “What the fuck did I miss?”
Brantley rolled his eyes. “Be thankful you weren’t there.”
I sensed his agitation before he managed to slump in defeat. Shiner wanted in on the shit that Cade, Brantley, and I discussed privately, and although I’d given him some insight on our lives and what I was up against outside of this school, he was still out of the game. It wasn’t because I didn’t trust him. It was more because the less he knew, the better. “Whatever. Callie’s pussy was better than whatever you three got into, I’m sure.” He shrugged before snagging his attention away. “But...they’re right.”
I moved my gaze over to Gemma, seeing her nibble on a carrot stick before I looked back at Shiner. “Right about what?”
“If you want to resist her, make her see you in a different light. Make her see the old Isaiah so she resists you. Show her who you were before she stepped foot in this school.”
I flicked a crumb off my tie, feeling a shift inside my chest. Who was I before she came here? I could hardly remember.
Trailing back down the long table to see Gemma, I noticed that she was smiling at something Sloane had said, which caused my stomach to knot. It was the first time I’d seen her smile all day, and it was like we were back to the beginning, when she had first started at St. Mary’s. I had been trying to figure her out from the very second I’d laid eyes on her, and I still was. I distinctly remember thinking she seemed so lost, sitting with Sloane on that Tuesday morning just a couple of months ago. But now? She didn’t look so lost, even if I knew, deep down, she was still trying to uncover things about her life that had been hidden from her. Maybe she’d discovered something last night before my father appeared.
Gemma had found her footing in the last few weeks.
But I’d lost mine.
In fact, I was pretty certain that I’d lost myself in her, and she’d found herself in me.
My name on Cade’s lips snagged my lingering gaze away from Gemma. “Isaiah can’t really go back to his usual behavior. He’s still on probation, so there are some limitations, but…”
Shiner played his famous grin, tipping his lip just slightly as he nodded along with Cade. “Oh, yes. I see where you’re going, and it never fucking fails.”
Their secretive conversation was stroking my irritation. “I’m growing impatient,” I snapped, pushing my food away. I hadn’t been hungry since I’d seen my father standing above Gemma last night.
“Get a new toy.”
I shut my eyes briefly, reeling in my temper. “She wasn’t a fucking toy.”
Shiner snapped his fingers. “But you played with her.”
I was seconds from slamming my fist down onto the table, but Brantley cleared his throat and glanced across the table, gazing into the dining hall. Mostly everyone was seated with their lunches by now, but of course, Bain—being the imperious son of a bitch that he was—slowly strolled the empty space with an apple in his hand, staring directly at me.
Red began to dance in front of my vision, but I dug down as deep as I could to stay grounded. Calculated behavior was better than impulsive behavior. I breathed in and out of my nose, hearing something crack in my body from the hostility.
Bain’s head tilted with a chuckle as he rolled his dark eyes before turning and going to sit with a few of his friends that were blatantly unaware of his life outside of this school. After last night, I knew that there was going to come a time in the near future where I needed Bain on level ground, so now more than ever, I needed to pull myself back in and stay calm. I gained my smarts from my mother, and I was going to make damn good use of them.
Turning back to the rest of the Rebels, I eyed each and every one of them before I spoke smoothly. “If I find someone new, Bain will think Gemma is free game.”
Shiner’s eyebrow arched. “And if she’s smart, she’ll turn him down.”
This time, Cade’s voice shook, and I was pretty sure I knew why. “And you think that’ll stop him?”
I swallowed back the distaste hitting the back of my throat. “Me backing off from her might take some of the threat away. But I have a feeling that Bain isn’t only watching Gemma because of me.” And that did not sit well with me at all.
Brantley nodded, lowering his voice even more. “It has something to do with her uncle, yeah? I mean, they obviously know each other if Bain is his newest gunrunner.”
I thought back to the photo I’d snapped that first time Gemma and I went to the Covens. She still had no idea that Bain went there to illegally sell guns to her uncle—who was apparently my father’s biggest client.
“I think so,” I answered as the bell echoed through the vast space, signaling that it was time for the second half of the day. I trailed after Gemma with my heart lodged in my throat. Her smooth legs had two scrapes along the knees that I had to pull my gaze from. “I need you guys to hear this, so listen up.” Shiner began to stand, but I held up a finger. “You can stay. This doesn’t necessarily apply to you, but you can stay.”
He slowly dropped back down into his seat as the dining hall started to empty. Once the ears were away and Bain had disappeared through the doors, not even sparing us a glance, I placed my hands onto the cool wood beneath our trays and breathed out an even breath. “There is going to come a time, in the near future, that I will have to work with Bain.”
“You mean work against.” Cade eyed me suspiciously.
“No.” Trepidation crept along my shoulders like a whore running her fingers down the base of my neck slowly and seductively, causing my stomach to hollow out.
Each of my friends was quiet. Neither one of them looked away or spoke. “After I get some things settled, you will have a choice to make.” I sniffed, pushing away from the table and climbing to my feet. “I just need you to be prepared.”
I turned my back and left them alone, hoping like hell that they chose my side and not the one that was the most familiar to them.
After all, familiar meant comfort even if, in this case, it was morally wrong.