Isaiah
Jesus Christ.
Gemma was shaking in my hands. They were still wrapped around her wet cheeks, and I could feel her entire body tremble as the pain and recollection flowed through her. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I was right. Gemma was more involved in this than I ever knew. A scary thought flowed through me. Did my father send her here? Did he know something I didn’t? Every muscle in my body locked up, and I felt an ache settle in my bones. I wanted to punch something, throw every last book off the shelves in this godforsaken library. My fingers begged to squeeze my father’s neck because he was part of the reason she was fucking terrified at the moment.
I didn’t like seeing her like this. My heart screamed, and I needed it to stop. I needed her little snarky remarks to come back. I begged for her rightful anger to rear its head again so she could stop bleeding out in front of me.
“Gemma, baby. I want you to breathe.” My forehead came down and rested along hers. It was sweaty, and I shut my eyes, wanting to take everything away from her. I didn’t know what I was taking, but I would take it. I would take her hurt and make it my own. I shouldn’t have been doing this. I needed to leave her be and get through this last stint of tutoring so she could just…leave. But she was determined to uncover things that needed to stay fucking covered. For her own safety.
“I can’t.” Her breaths were ragged, and I wanted to breathe for her. I wanted to give her every ounce of oxygen in my lungs.
“You can.” I gripped her face harder and pulled back, looking down into her eyes. “Breathe for me.”
Her head shook back and forth. “Did you know? Did you know that he was there that night? Did you know that your father knows Richard?”
“No,” I answered truthfully, and that was when she took a big gulp of air. The small area we were tucked back in smelled of nothing but dust and old, tattered books. It was dimly lit, and I liked it. It felt like we were shut off from the world, even if just for a second. I wasn’t thinking about how I needed to take a step back from her. Or how I shouldn’t have been the person that was keeping her steady and calming her down. Or how, just moments ago, before she took off running with fear blanketing her features, I told myself to leave her be. I wasn’t even thinking about how my father had her pinned yesterday, ready to hurt her and destroy me in the process. All I was thinking about was her.
Gemma continued to shake, tears still wetting her cheeks. Her hands came up and gripped my arms as she tried like hell to pull herself out of the assaulting memory she’d just had. I wanted to know in the worst way. I wanted to dig into her mind and learn every last secret that laid behind those secretive green eyes. “How do I know I can believe you?”
“I didn’t know,” I said, glancing away. “I suspected, though.” I was teetering over the edge of right and wrong. Pulled in two opposite directions. Gemma deserved to know the truth, but she also deserved to stay safe and untouched by this part of the world that I was all too familiar with.
Her head flicked up, that dainty little chin tipping in my direction. I glanced down to her lips as she said, “Tell me.”
My chest screamed with the pounding of my heart. Shit. I needed to shove her away. She was better off not being involved in this. But the nagging thought in the back of my head told me that Gemma would probably try to find out more anyway. She had gone to the fucking Covens last night without me to uncover things. Maybe if I’d given her some insight, it would’ve pacified her long enough to get her out. To get her out of this fucking school and the spiderweb of lies, danger, and illicit business that she had no business being a part of.
I slowly pulled my hands from her cheeks, and I saw her hope and fear flicker. Her brown hair came over her face as she glanced to the floor, but she slowly looked over at me as I sat beside her, resting my back against the same bookshelf. “That night I took you to the psych hospital, when we followed Bain… I found out something that I haven’t told you about.” I kept my attention forward, glancing down the long aisle of endless bookshelves. “Bain met someone at the door—the one I found you shoved against last night with my father hovering over you.” I heard her swallow but kept going. “Bain was delivering guns to someone there. Illegally. You’ve heard me talk about the family business...” I was thankful she never dug too much into it, because I never really wanted her to know in the first place, but now, I was wondering if she already knew.
“Yes,” she croaked, hardly above a whisper.
“My father and Bain’s are both in the illicit trade of small arms. They’re gun traffickers. He’s one of the biggest gun runners there is. The whole family business that I’m set to take over is illegal gun trade, Gem. That’s why my father was so angry when he realized the tracker on Bain’s car was going to the Covens last night.” I looked over at her and hopefully displayed the disappointment I felt over her taking his car and going alone. “That psych hospital isn’t just a psych hospital. He went there to catch Bain in his territory, selling guns to…” I paused, bringing my knees up to rest my forearms along them. “Judge Stallard.”
I felt the icy whip of her shock even without touching her. Long minutes passed, and I kept my ears perked, listening to hear if anyone decided to pop into the library to check on our studies tonight, and that was when I heard the tremor in her tone.
“That’s what they were talking about that night, when my mom was taken from me.”
I couldn’t even look over at her because I was too afraid to see her expression. I needed to stop this. She was confiding in me, and I didn’t deserve it, but there wasn’t much that would take me away from this very spot, even with my father’s face lingering in the outskirts of my brain.
“They talked about a shipment. Scratching serial numbers. Something untraceable. Your father looked me dead in the eye that night and watched as Richard took me away from my mom as she screamed in a padded room that she didn’t deserve to be in.”
Richard fucking Stallard.
I felt unsettled, and I wanted to ask her more. I wanted to know every last fucking thing about her life, and Richard Stallard, and if she knew what his position was there. But I felt her numbness. The sound of her monotonous voice hit my ears and made them ring. I needed to heed the warning that I sensed. She wasn’t ready.
Her head turned to me quickly, and I caught the wet stripes across her cheeks. “Make it stop.”
I’d do anything she told me to do at this moment. My head was telling me one thing, but my heart was telling me another. My stomach dipped, and my muscles locked. Our eyes collided, and I burned. “Make what stop?”
“Everything. My mom begged...” She sniffled, and I broke. “I don’t... I can’t…” Her eyes shut, more tears coming out of the corners. “I don’t want to feel anything right now.”
Leave her be.
Walk away.
Disengage in any interest.
Keep her safe.
Remember what you felt last night.
Make her stay away from you.