20
“So,” I said. “Are we ever going to talk about it?”
I’d had it with the waiting. After two hours of fish shopping, feeding Sofia breakfast, and now watching her give day old bread from the café to the ducks across the river in Soundview Park, Xavier still hadn’t said a word about yesterday’s outburst. Meanwhile, I could still feel the imprint of his lips on mine.
I had been putting it off too, but it had to be discussed. I wasn’t an idiot—he was noticing me just as much as I was noticing him. Feeding me food. Flirting constantly. It was like we couldn’t help it.
And yes, I could admit, it also felt kind of good. But it still wasn’t a good idea.
His blue eyes narrowed at me, then darted away as we sank onto a bench overlooking the water and Sofia’s exploits with the ducks. His knee rubbed against mine, but he didn’t move it away.
“You mean the fact that your mum works in a bodega and every time she spoke you looked like you’d drunk bad milk?”
I frowned. “I told you she worked somewhere up here. And that we don’t talk much. Running into her outside a fish market isn’t going to change that.”
Xavier just gave me a long, blue look.
I grimaced. “I know you understand what it’s like to have family who don’t know what the word means. She’s making another move back into our lives again. I haven’t decided how I feel about it.”
Xavier continued staring at me.
“What?” I asked.
He mumbled something like, “Glad I’m not the only one,” then stretched his long legs out in front of him. “Then I assume you mean my behavior last night. I already apologized for snapping at you and Sofia. I said I won’t do it again, and I meant it.”
“I’m not talking about that. You’re doing fine making up for that.” I checked that Sofia wasn’t listening, then continued in a lower voice. “I’m talking about the part when you got jealous about another guy—again, I might add—and then kissed me. Also again.”
“Oh. That.” Xavier reached back and tugged at the bill of his cap before dropping his arm across the back of the bench. “And you want me to apologize for that too?”
I noticed he did not.
I sighed. “It is what it is. But don’t you think we need to talk about the fact that you have thrown two tantrums now when you thought another man was present in my life?”
Another tug at his hat. Another chew of his very full lower lip.
“Well, in my defense, the first one was right after you’d practically let me into your knickers, then left me cold,” he pointed out.
I reddened, unable to help myself. Yeah, I’d been about to let him do a lot more than that.
“I was crazed with lust,” he continued with a smirk. “Not accountable for my actions.”
“Fine,” I said. “We’ll let that one go. But last night? What was that about?”
He shrugged. “Nothing.”
I huffed. “Xavi, spare me the studied nonchalance. You were pissed. And then you bit our heads off because of it. I’ve accepted your apology, but we haven’t exactly addressed the root cause.”
His face went through a surprisingly wide number of expressions before it settled on a frown. “Fine. I didn’t like it.”
“Didn’t like what?”
His eyes narrowed. “You know what.”
“So you were jealous.” I felt a small thrill at the idea, though I knew I shouldn’t. Things were complicated enough with this man. I didn’t need him to throw jealousy into the mix.
Xavier shrugged, but still couldn’t meet my eyes. “I wouldn’t call it that, exactly.”
“Then what would you call it? Envious? Possessive? Controlling?”