“What about her?”
When I sat back up, Matthew was back on his heels and turned to give me his full attention. He was in the dark, but my brother still had radar for bullshit. Just like he also knew when something really mattered.
“The way she left after Dad died. I mean, it’s all right that Lea and them are making peace with her. But I remember too. I remember how it feels to have your own parent walk away from you. Like you’re nothing.” I wrapped my arms around my shins and hugged my legs to my chest. “I think you were right, you know, staying away from her. It’s why I don’t let her near Sofia. I don’t want her to break her heart.”
“Yeah, but Sofia doesn’t know Xavier,” Matthew pointed out. “You don’t really either.”
No, I didn’t, but not in the way he thought. For months, I’d believed I was actually getting to know the real Xavier again. Doing right by my kid. Preventing him from blindsiding her like our mother had done to us.
Matthew got up and came to sit next to me on the bed. This was it. He was going to force the truth out of me, like he always did. And then I wouldn’t be the one trying to protect my kid. I’d be the little sister disappointing him and everyone else all over again.
Shit, shit, shit.
But Matthew said the last thing I ever thought I’d hear.
“You know, I’m wondering if we shouldn’t at least try to say hi to Mom next time she calls.”
I gawked at him. “You’re kidding. You want to talk to Mom?”
Matthew rubbed his neck, clearly uncomfortable with the idea. “I don’t know if I want to, per se. But if there’s anything I’ve learned over the last year, it’s that people can change. And something she did ten, twenty years ago…well, it might not be the person she is now. I’m not saying we have to invite her in, or anyone else you don’t want for your own sake and Sofia’s. But, you know, when it comes to Sofia’s dad, maybe you can answer the door. Maybe you can talk on the porch. Have a conversation. You know what I’m saying?”
I sat there for a minute, taking in his words. My brother had nursed a grudge against our mother for more than twenty years. Essentially, since he had been the one to raise us alongside our grandparents. At fourteen, Mattie had grown up way more than he should’ve had to, watched Mom break all our hearts again and again. She’d lied, stolen, neglected us, totally forgotten us at times, all for the love of the bottle.
And here he was, turning the other cheek. Preaching forgiveness?
Color me shocked.
“Yeah,” I said slowly. “Yeah, I see. Something to think about anyway.”
“All right. I wish I had more brotherly advice for you. But I’m tapped out, and now I have to get ready.”
“Say no more.” I jumped up from the bed, not wanting to be any more of a burden. But then I thought of something else. “Hey, Mattie?”
Matthew looked up. He really was handsome, I thought for the first time in a long time. Dark hair, roguish charm. I could see why so many girls liked him. I could see why Nina loved him.
“Yeah?” he asked.
I smiled. I could forgive too. At least for his sake. “You know, I thought about it and I think it’s a good thing, you and Nina, after all. She loves you. Anyone can see that.”
Matthew grinned. “You finally coming around, little sister?”
“I think it’s good for you, too,” I told him as I grabbed the flowers and walked to the door. “I see how you love her. How you talk about her daughter.”
My heart squeezed when I thought about Matthew around someone else’s little girl. I couldn’t lie. Sometimes, it made me a little jealous. We were his family. Sofia and me.
Weren’t we?
“Soon you’ll have a real family to protect,” I said quietly. “Not just me and the others. We’re all grown. You need a family of your own. I’m glad you’re getting one.”
As sad as it was, I meant every word. Even though I knew it meant I’d have to patch my own little family together at last. Whatever that looked like.
Matthew’s smile widened. At least I had that.
“Thanks, Fran,” he said as he got up from the bed, already grabbing a towel off a hook on the wall.
“Have fun at the ball, Cinderella,” I teased as I left, though the levity didn’t quite reach my heart.
Because at that moment, I knew Matthew was right.
I also knew what I had to do.