What am I going to do now?
“Why don’t you go see him? I’d have done a lot to see my Henry if it’d been possible to visit him back then.”
She isn’t wrong. I could fly out to California again.
The cold bites into my nose, and I sniffle. “I don’t want to seem desperate.”
“Harper.” Mrs. Zimmerman stops. “If the roles were reversed, and you’d be incredibly busy with your job and couldn’t get away easily, would you think he was desperate if he came to visit you again? Especially if he was the one with a clear schedule.”
I stare at her like she just sprouted a third eye and shake my head before she’s even finished talking. “No, absolutely not.”
I’d be thrilled.
“There you go. Sometimes we need to step away from how we think our actions might be interpreted by others to seeing things from a different angle.”
I only nod, still a bit dumbfounded.
“Also, not to sound harsh or anything, but if he thought you were desperate for flying out to see him after you were apart this whole time, I’d say he might not be the right guy anyway. Just something to think about.”
At this point, my brain’s short-circuiting. She’s right, I was worried about what Ryan might think of me without him ever having given me a reason to worry about that. Even though it would be painful to consider a future without him, my elderly friend is right, he might not be the right guy for me if he’d be put off by me visiting him.
“Thanks, Mrs. Zimmerman.”
“It’s nothing, dear.” She pats me on the arm. “Let’s head back before we turn into popsicles.”
I chuckle, my step suddenly a little lighter. We complete the small loop we walked and head back to our apartment building.
My phone buzzes just as I close the front door behind me. Thanks to my stupid ex, my stomach churns a little every time my phone does anything these days, which is awful considering it’s become my lifeline to the most important people in my life.
Tara: Where are you? I have news. Good news. Amazing news.
I don’t reply and call her instead.
Tara answers right away. “Oh, hey, you weren’t online, so I thought you might be napping.”
Her voice is warm, and a pang hits me in the chest. She’s been gone for almost two months, and I still miss her like crazy.
“Believe me, I wish I was napping.”
“Why? What’s going on?”
I sigh, my breath still coming out in quick bursts. “I just came back from a walk with Mrs. Zimmerman, and I feel like one solid piece of frozen meat.”
“Yikes. I don’t blame you. I’d be miserable. Take a long shower and have some hot chocolate.”
“That actually sounds like a great idea.” I try to take off my clothes while keeping the phone to my ear. “So what’s up?”
Tara shrieks. “Oh yes. Listen, so it’s nothing super extravagant, and it doesn’t have to be forever, but I think I have a job for you.”
I stop, one arm in my shirt and the other one out. “You do?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Well, tell me. I want to know everything.”
My hands are suddenly frantic, trying to get rid of all the extra clothes.
Tara clears her throat. “You know how some authors aren’t interested in doing their own admin work? All the behind-the-scenes work like marketing and administrative tasks and whatnot. We have a few people who take care of that and one of them quit. It’s a freelance job which would be perfect for you.”