“I was just thinking the same.”
“Kind of a shame.”
“It is. Everything that’s going on up there is so extraordinary, we should pay more attention to it.” I take in the vastness and beauty, wanting to commit as much as possible to memory.
“Sounds like we need to do this more often then.”
I shift my focus to him. “Would you like that?”
He nods.
“Maybe we can do it again during my next visit.”
With that one comment, his whole expression changes. It’s an instant shift inside myself, as well. In moments like these, it’s so easy to pretend like we’re just two normal people who can have fun dates without any obstacles. Sadly, reality is an entirely different story. Three thousand miles between us isn’t just an obstacle, it’s a freaking brick wall. Add the fact we’re expecting without really knowing each other nor being a couple, and that wall just grew into a whole universe between us.
As much as I enjoyed the time I spent with Ryan in the last week, especially our date tonight, how is this supposed to work out between us? I know how crazy his schedule is with six days of practice a week. There’s no time for him to come and see me in New York. And I can’t fly out here all the time either, especially once I have a job again. And finding one is something I really need to focus on because I have a baby to take care of before the year is over.
Ryan rubs his hand over the back of his neck. “You really have to leave soon?”
I nod, avoiding his gaze. “There are a lot of things I need to figure out.”
I’d rather stay longer, but I know it’s the responsible thing to do.
His head bobs up and down. “That makes sense.”
“Yeah.”
We both look like sad puppies, and it’s not the first time I wish things would be different for us.
Ryan blows out a loud breath, his expression serious. “Listen, Harper, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about quickly. I don’t think it will be an issue for you, but I wanted you to know anyway.”
“What is it?” I wrap the blanket tighter around myself, not liking this dramatic shift.
“There’s this blogger, her name is Natasha Leopolt, and she came after me and my friends a few times over the years. She loves gossip, and the more dirt she can get on someone the better. Unfortunately, she’s incredibly popular online and has a ton of followers who eat up anything she spews.”
My eyebrows draw together in confusion. Due to my dad, I’ve seen my fair share of pompous reports and articles over the years from people who think that anything goes as long as it makes them money, consequences or damage for others be damned.
“I’m sorry you have to deal with that.”
He shrugs. “It’s part of the job, and I’m going to handle her if she comes after me or one of my friends. I’m more worried what she’ll do if she—” His gaze locks with mine. “If she’ll find out about you . . . and the baby.”
Well, shit. Talk about a kick to the gut.
What if she finds out about me and my dad and shares it online? That can ruin everything I’m trying to build with Ryan. After things have gone so well between us, especially tonight. I can’t risk that. She can’t find out about us. Not yet.
Despite telling Ryan earlier that I’m planning on leaving soon, I had doubts sneaking in, wondering if I should stay longer after all. Especially after how amazing tonight went. But now, that’s not an option for me. Now, I’ll definitely be on the first available flight back home. If I could, I’d drive to the airport this very second.
My skin suddenly feels tight, and it’s harder to get enough air into my lungs.
“Hey.” Ryan’s voice snaps me out of my suffocating thoughts.
“Sorry.” I shake my head as if that could get rid of these spiraling worries.
His hand touches the top of mine, his thumb gently stroking over my skin. “I will do my best to take care of this before anything happens, you hear me? I just wanted to tell you so you know.”
With my lips pressed together tightly I nod at him. Then I try to smile, but the corners of my mouth don’t want to move.
“Come here, you’re shaking.” Ryan scoots closer and puts his arms around me.