I reach for my phone and call Ronan. “I need a cleanup, now. It’s a bar, so call the right people. I can’t stick around. I’ve got to take care of shit.”
“What’s happening?” Stella mumbles.
She’s sitting on the ground, dazed. There’s no recognition in her eyes. She has no clue who this guy is. She’s in her own world. I’m going to get a security detail on her starting tomorrow. I want to be with her all the time, but my job won’t allow it, and I need to know she’s safe.
I pick her up, and she holds on to me as if she’s meant to be in my arms. “One day soon, Kitten. One day soon, you’ll never be away from me.”
My feet hit the ground and I run to my car, opening the passenger side door and placing her inside. I lean over and take in her scent as I buckle her in and drive to her small apartment.
Chapter Two
Four years ago
KIAN
All I have is my art. And my art has taken a different turn. Everything I paint now is of her. Even the abstract work is her in some form. Paintings of her hair, sketches of her eyes, doodles of her lips, brush strokes of her shoulders.
She’s the tattoo etched in my brain, taking up all the space and dimming everything else out of focus.
I stare at the painting in front of me, an acrylic piece I’ve been working on for days. Stella. It’s always Stella. Frustration bursts in every cell of my body. A scream escapes my mouth as I take a palette knife to the canvas, cutting it from the top right corner to the bottom left, slashing it in half.
Remorse floods me when I see the slash cutting across her face, and I’m upset at myself for hurting her.
I realize it’s a ludicrous thought. It’s just a painting. I’d never intentionally hurt a hair on her head. But I know I can destroy her because deep down, a darkness has taken hold of me, and it’s always lurking, waiting to take control.
I gaze at the now destroyed image of her face. Emptiness fills me, knowing I’ve taken something beautiful and made it ugly because I can’t control the rage and anger festering inside me.
I gaze at the Chicago skyline through the window. What is she doing? What is she wearing? Who is she with? I sip my bourbon. Alcohol is the only thing that calms my nerves. I gaze at the auburn liquid in the glass. A pitiful replacement for her.
A few weeks ago, we had to scare off another guy. I hate other men looking at her because they think she’s beautiful. I hate how they stare at her curves and tits and want to bury themselves in her. I loathe how she makes their cocks as hard as she makes mine. Jealousy is a poison in my veins bubbling, boiling, and ready to explode.
I want to lock her away like Rapunzel, so no one else can see her but us.
“What the fuck, Kian?” Ronan blares into my room.
I don’t realize what’s going on until he takes my hand, and I see the blood trickling onto the hardwood floor. I’m glad I insisted on hardwood for my room instead of carpet. Blood stains are a bitch to remove from gray carpet.
Ronan picks shards of glass from my hand. It doesn’t hurt. Nothing hurts like the void in my heart from her absence. Being without her is the most painful loss imaginable.
“You gotta stop doing this, man. It’s only a couple more years. We can’t lose you as soon as we get her, Kian. You gotta stay strong,” Ronan says.
“She’s so far away. Why couldn’t she have gone to school here? She should’ve stayed in Chicago. We should’ve made her stay here.”
I’m in such a daze that I don’t register Ronan walking me to the bathroom faucet. I’m a mindless zombie, unaware of what’s happening from one moment to another.
Ronan runs my hand under the cold water. The crimson blends with the clear liquid. “She’s too young, Kian. We did this so she’d have time. She needs to stand toe to toe with us. We aren’t normal guys. We’re too much in every way. She needs to live. She has to know not to fear us, to take us on. We did what was best for her. We need to be patient. Two more years, and she’s ours. All ours. Forever. Two more years, and we’ll all be together.”
I dig the heel of my uninjured hand in my eye. “I can’t do it. She’s fuckin’ everywhere I look. She’s all I think about, all I want. I can’t do it.”
Ronan drops my hand, turning to face me. He grabs my face before connecting his forehead to mine. “You gotta get yourself under control, man. You gotta pull yourself together because it only works if it’s the four of us. Axel and I cannot lose you. You gotta be strong. I need her too, Kian. I fucking need her too.”