ATTICUS
The thought of sleeping as we waited to hear how the rescue mission had gone was preposterous, and none of us had even tried. We were spread out in the living room, the children tucked away in their beds. The dogs had taken up residence guarding the little kids, lying in the hallway between them and us. Loren kept nodding off but then would jump, her body remembering she needed to be awake.
It was pure torture having to wait. I wasn’t used to being the one on this end of things, but I knew I needed to be here for Loren and the family this time. They needed me in case anything happened. I had to be the strong one for them to lean on. I could do that for them.
So, I stood, hands in my pocket, staring at the door for what felt like a lifetime, waiting for someone to walk through it. If we didn’t get Jude back, I was worried about what would become of Lore and Imogen.
We needed this win. We needed Jude.
The golden one joined me in my vigil at the door, not saying anything as he stood next to me. I was still getting to know all the traits he possessed, so I wasn’t sure what his ploy was just yet.
“What?” I sighed, unable to take the quiet standoff, the solution to the puzzle not within my grasp.
“Nothing. I’m just giving you support. You’re not alone, no matter how much you try to separate yourself.” He held up his hand, his ring glinting in the light. “If anything, this right here proves it. You might be the head of your family, but it’s not all on you in here.” He circled his fingers around the room, and I rolled my eyes at him despite what he said warming me on the inside.
“Save the feel-good pep talk for someone else. The fact you think here is different from everywhere else shows how much you don’t understand this life. You have a piece of jewelry, that doesn’t change anything with me.” I pulled my hands out of my pockets, crossing my arms. I was being more difficult than I’d intended, not wanting to admit what he said had sounded nice. I was tired of being in charge. The pressure was overwhelming.
“Keep your cool facade, but it’s not going to save you from the pain if something happens.”
“It will be fine,” I gritted out, my eye twitching.
“I hope so. I love that kid, and I don’t want to particularly think of a world without him, but,” he paused, stepping in front of me so that I had to look at him, “life doesn’t work out perfectly because you controlled it better than someone else or planned for every outcome.” He sucked in a breath, his voice hitching a little. “Bad things happen. The unthinkable does occur. And when it does, who are you going to be? The man who stood apart from her, watching the door, or the man who was holding her hand, telling her how scared he was too?” He raised an eyebrow, turning to leave now that his point was made.
His words hit me like a sucker punch. I didn’t want to think of the worst because I’d lived it for so long, but was I destroying the best thing in my life in the process? I looked over, seeing Loren’s fear along with her strength.
“If that’s what you think I should be doing, why aren’t you? Why tell me?” I asked, curious.
“Last time I checked, she had two hands.” He didn’t pause, but kept walking back into the room, sitting next to her on the couch. I watched with some jealousy as he pulled Loren into his arms. He did it so effortlessly.
I was envious of his ability to freely show his emotions, but did I need to be? Maybe he was right. I’d been making strides for our family to be different, and perhaps that meant I had to be the most different, the one charging the way for change.
With a sigh, I took a step toward her and kept going, urging my feet to be where they wanted to be. Monroe looked up at me when I sat down. I expected a cocky smirk, but instead, he gave me a respectful nod. I stared at Loren’s hand, the one with the ring I’d placed there, and I reached out, picking it up.
It still amazed me that she’d agreed to my ridiculous plan. With everything that had occurred the past few days, I hadn’t really had time to digest that I was a married man. I linked our fingers, looking up at her. I didn’t want to admit Goldilocks next to her was right, so I wouldn’t.
“They’re going to find him, Bellezza.”
She looked over, showing the fear I didn’t want to feel. She nodded, kissing my cheek. “Maybe we should—” Her words were interrupted as the door I’d been staring at earlier burst open, scaring everyone in the vicinity. The dogs jumped up, barking. Wells startled, cursing, and Imogen sat up, eyes wide. Nat and Cami looked around, worry on their faces.
Loren immediately jumped up, and I followed, pushing her behind me as we waited for them to come around the corner. Monroe stood by my side, making me respect him a little. I didn’t want Loren rushing into danger, and he seemed to think the same. My hand moved to the gun that still felt foreign despite its constant presence.
A bright purple head poked around the corner, looking at all of us in annoyance. “A little help here. They’re heavy fuckers.” We all moved instantly, running to meet them. I scanned over the bodies, counting.
Nicco. Pixel. Malek.
No Jude. No Sax.
“Where’s…?” I started to ask when Beau stumbled through, Jude over his shoulder. Loren rushed back into the room, clearing off the couch to lay him on. Running forward, I helped my brother and Pixel carry Malek, who was also passed out, to the ottoman.
Looking up, I tried to figure out where my best friend was. “Sax?” I asked. Pixel glanced up, panting as she caught her breath. “Passed out. You might want to call a doctor or someone. I did what I could, but yeah, not my specialty.”
A snort came from the couch, and I realized it was Jude. “That’s putting it mildly.” He blinked, finding everyone standing around him. “Whoa. Um, hi.”
Loren fell next to him, crying into his chest, Imogen joining her. Jude awkwardly patted the two crying women, and I left them to it as I tried to assess the situation, my body not knowing what to do with the adrenaline rush.
Cami was checking Malek over, asking Pixel a million questions. Nat had moved over to Beau, scanning him. When she saw his leg was bleeding, she started to yell at him, and I smiled to myself. They would be taken care of.
“Bro, Sunshine, come and help me with Sax’s big ass.” Nicco didn’t wait for us to respond, heading back toward the garage. I took off, happy to move and leave the emotions in the room with everyone else.