He motioned with his hand for me to continue, and for the first time, I saw the teenager attitude coming out of him. Fortunately, this was what I was used to and could manage. Smiling, a thrill of excitement coursed through me at the thought of cracking that wall of anger he held around him.
"I met with Mitzi today," I started, some doubt leaking through on how he might feel about this, "to, uh, inquire about being your mentor. I just wanted to make sure you were okay with that decision," I acknowledged wanting him to know he had a choice. At my words, his arms dropped, his anger dripping away, and he straightened his posture, and I saw the hopeful boy he kept hidden peeking through.
"Oh, I'm sorry about before. I…" he shrugged, dropping his head.
"It's okay. I get it. Thank you for apologizing, though. It's always good to own up to our mistakes. So, is that okay?"
His head snapped up, and he regarded me. I could see hope and fear flashing across his face. Slowly, Jude nodded as he warred with himself. Finally, he swallowed, clearing his throat.
"Yeah, I would be okay with that."
"I'm happy to hear that." I smiled. "I was really hoping you'd say yes. Are you busy right now? I wanted to maybe take you out for some lunch?"
"I'm just playing around. It's nothing important. I can go," he rushed out almost as if he thought the offer would disappear. My heart broke for this boy, and I vowed then to be the adult in his life who was steady and reliable. I could push through my own feelings to be better for him. It was a heavy task, and I knew I would need to prioritize it to make sure I didn't do any damage either.
"Great. Grab your things, and we can walk out together."
Jude nodded and hurried back into the room to grab whatever he needed. Remembering the texts I sent earlier, I decided to check to see if I had any responses back. This concept of having people want to talk to me throughout the day was still so new to me. Even in my marriage, our communication consisted of when we were leaving work and if we needed anything from the store.
It was peculiar to me to text people, but I found myself liking it. The rush of emotions at seeing a new text, often accompanied by the heat of reading them, and the anticipation of what was to come next had me reaching for my phone more.
Monroe: Sorry if Wells was rude this morning. He's not entirely housebroken. Thanks again for your help, especially in watching Levi. I enjoyed our conversation, and I can't wait to have more at dinner.
ME:That's funny. I will have to remember that about Surly. No problem with Levi and the help. I was happy to be able to, and I'm looking forward to dinner as well. I'm taking Jude to lunch now.
Before I could read the next one, Jude exited the room, shutting the door behind him. I put my phone in my purse, not wanting to be rude in his company. He smiled shyly, and I realized he was waiting on me to lead the way.
"So, I'm new to this whole mentor thing."
"Oh, well, me too." He shrugged one shoulder in response.
"Really? You've not had one before?"
"No, people usually pick younger kids."
"Ah, I see. Well, then I'm glad we can figure this out together. Team no-clue?"
"Team no-clue." Jude smiled, and I felt like I'd done something good today by getting him to do it. The seed planted earlier to be better began to lengthen its roots, spreading more into the darkness and pushing it out.
"What kind of food do you like?"
"Oh, you don't have to. I'm good."
"Well, first rule. When we're together, I get to pay for things, but no hidden strings or return favors are expected."
Jude watched me, trying to figure out if I was sincere. I could understand his fear and knew it would be a battle to get him to accept this, but I hoped he would.
"How about I promise not to go too crazy, but once a month we do something fun and decide that together? If you don't like the terms, we can renegotiate at the end of the month, but I would like the opportunity to show you first that I'm different."
"I think I can accept it," he finally said, a smile in his voice.
"Perfect. Well, it's cold out, but I'm craving some street food. How about we head over to this area I know with several street vendors, and we try it?"
"Yeah, that sounds good to me. I don't mind the cold."
We set out in the direction of the plaza, taking in the area as we went. "So, Jude. You like photography. What else do you enjoy?"
"Oh, well, that's my main thing. I guess I enjoy reading and music. School's okay." He shrugged.