The buzzing of the tattoo gun did nothing to settle my irritation. Usually, it was a calming sound that settled around me as we worked. Today, it felt like a million bees were attacking my ears each time I tried to read anything for school. I was incredibly unfocused and distracted, and I knew why. I just hadn't expected it.
Loren.
Ever since the saucy brunette walked out of my apartment almost a week ago, I couldn't stop thinking about her. I'd cleverly put my name in her phone so that she would have my number. I didn't want to be too forward and text me from her phone, so I just added me instead, hoping she would see it. When I hadn't heard from her for a few days, I'd sent a note with Nat, but still nothing.
Had she not enjoyed that night? Was it just a one night stand for her? Neither of those options felt right to me. Maybe I was too subtle?
Determined, I decided if I wanted something, I would need to make it known. Loren was older than me by a couple of years, so she was probably used to men treating her a certain way. I would need to prove that I was just as sophisticated. Feeling confident in my resolution, I found I could finally focus on my lesson.
This class was my favorite because I could work at my own pace. Because of that, I was already on the final. After this one, I would only have three more to go before obtaining my teaching degree. It felt surreal that I could be doing something I loved in a year, and I wished my mom was alive to see this, to see the boy who'd been a burden achieve something outside the life she couldn't escape.
When my mom had overdosed, I was grateful that Uncle Dayton had taken me in, but he'd never been a father figure to me. He was just a reminder of the life I didn't want to live. Over the years, I saw the violence and abuse he inflicted on all those around him. Living with Atticus and Immy was the only bright spot and helped me retain myself.
When Atticus went off to school, Immy and I had one another, and she became my little sister. The bond we had was special to me, and she was one of the few who knew I wanted to be a teacher. She might only be seventeen, but living the life we did, she was beyond mature for her age. And after the past six months, I'd seen the weight of the trauma on her. I wanted to get her out too, but knew it needed to be her choice.
Finishing off the last lesson plan for the unit I was working on, my phone beeped with a message, and I felt nervous butterflies build as I hoped it would be from my illustrious bed partner.
Lil Sis:I played today… It was weird. Good, but weird.
ME:MoMo, that's great! Anything after a time away is going to feel weird. Don't sweat it.
Lil Sis:Yeah, you're right. My therapist told me the same.
ME:I love hearing how right I am. Tell me again, please, lol. Your therapist sounds smart too.
Lil Sis:Yeah, she's cool. She doesn't treat me like I'm fragile or a little kid, so that's a plus. It sucks monkey balls talking about this shit though.
ME:Hey, I get it. It's never easy talking about the crap we've lived through, but from my own experience, if you don't, it eats you up. Then you end up as a 29 yo with over thirty tattoos and alone.
Lil Sis:Well, I think you're cool, so it can't be too bad. But you're wrong… you're not alone, dork.
ME:Okay, you're right. I'm being melodramatic.
Lil Sis:Yeah you are. Lol. Still nothing from your mystery woman?
ME: No. I've decided to make a play, though. No more subtle messages.
Lil Sis: Yasss. Shoot your shot, Nic! I think you're pretty great, so that counts for something.
ME:Ah, look at you with the feelings.
Lil Sis:I'll deny it if you ever say anything, lol.
ME:Love you too, MoMo
Lil Sis:Yeah yeah, I love you too. Let me know how it goes, loser. Later
ME:Oh, you slay me with your confidence
Lil Sis:I'm the balance to your giant ego
ME:Ah, at least you admit it's giant
Lil Sis:Ew, gross. I feel like you just crossed some weird boundary. Take it back! *Gagging emoji*
ME:Wow. The hurt I feel right now. *Wide eye emoji*
Lil Sis:LMAO. Ugh, gotta go. Tutor asshole is here.