Once we had our cookies sorted and boxed up, we walked around eating our treats as we took in the art exhibit. Monroe had hung back, talking to a man who looked to be the principal while Levi and I'd gone crazy over the options. He'd kept one eye on us the whole time and had a genuine smile when Levi handed him the one he'd chosen for him.
Now, the three of us walked around taking in the exhibits almost like an actual familial unit. It was scary how natural it felt. I noticed that most of the students were surrounded by peers or parents, so my heart broke for Jude when we got to him, and he was alone. However, when he caught sight of us, his face lit up, and I knew I'd made the right call coming today. This kid needed support and to feel like people believed in him. I think I could be that person for him. I wanted to try, at least.
"Hey, Jude. How are you doing today? How's your art?" I asked when we approached.
"Loren, um, hi," he stuttered, shyness washing over him. "I wasn't expecting to see you, but I mean, it's nice to see you. And it's, um, yeah. Well, I think I'm doing okay," he finally finished, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. His countenance was endearing, and again I just wanted to hug the kid.
"That's fantastic. I found the perfect spot in my office for the prints I bought the other day. Everyone keeps asking me where I got them. So, you just might have some more customers soon."
"Wow, really? That's, wow. Thank you."
Jude genuinely seemed so floored that I had done something for him and looked like he might cry. Shit, Mitzi's diabolical plan was working, and I knew I would do whatever I had to in order to help this kid. Wanting to distract attention from his almost tears, I introduced my two companions.
"I don't know if you know Monroe or not, and this is his son, Levi, aka the cookie expert."
"Oh, hi. It's nice to meet a cookie expert. What does that all entail?" Jude asked Levi, and they started a conversation.
"You know, Jude is new to the program at the center and hasn't connected with anyone," Monroe stated. "I think that's the first time I've ever seen him smile," he whispered.
Monroe was standing just behind me, leaning down slightly to whisper in my ear. His breath tickled my neck, and his deep smoky voice had my body shivering before I could stop it. Tilting my face up, his mouth was incredibly close to mine as we stared at one another. Swallowing, my lips moved a millimeter, almost touching him.
"Did Mitzi put you up to this?" I managed to get out. "Are you part of her plan to get me to commit?"
"No," Monroe replied, his eyes boring into mine. "I'm here to see the kids I'm mentoring. It was just happenstance, I guess."
Neither of us moved as we continued to chat this close to one another, almost as if we were daring the other to move just that small distance more. I wasn't sure where this magnetism had come from. I hadn't felt it last week or ever before on the elevator. His good-guy vibe was throwing me for a loop with how devilishly seductive he was at this minute.
Apparently, awakening my desires meant opening my eyes to more. I saw the possibilities in front of me and was no longer blind to them. Or perhaps, no longer scared to act on what I wanted. Levi interrupted our stare off a second later, and I didn't know if it had been a fortunate event before anything further occurred or disappointment that it hadn't.
When I cleared my head, I realized gratitude was owed because I was still trying to figure out so many things. I didn't know what I wanted or felt, and I'd end back on my thought Ferris wheel, which was becoming more like a tilt-a-whirl by the minute. I wouldn't deny that there was some chemistry brewing between us now, but whether or not I acted on it, that was a whole separate thing.
I might be discovering new things, but I was still fundamentally me. I didn't want to throw myself into new experiences to chase away the grief, and lose what made me Loren to begin with. It was a boundary I needed to keep.
"Dad! I see Myles and Miley. Come on. I want to see their robot!" Levi exclaimed, pulling him away.
Monroe looked back at me, with almost a sense of longing on his face, before heading off with Levi to a different section. I watched the pair walk off chatting and I found myself glancing around taking in the space. The area was set up into four sections, dividing the exhibits into categories. Turning back to Jude, I found him with his head down, shuffling his feet.
"Do you mind if I hang out here, Jude?" He looked up, surprised at my question.
"Of course not," he smiled. "Um, thanks."
Smiling, I walked closer and took up the spot next to him on the wall as we watched people walk by. He had a few pieces on a table, and the rest were on partitions, filling the front and back. There were more prints out than he had the other night, and I knew I'd have to look at them again before we left.
Jude and I stood and watched the crowd in silence, not worried about making small talk. He was a kindred spirit. I liked that about him. After a few minutes, I decided to take a leap and get to know him better.
"How did you get into photography?"
"Oh, well, my mother was into it and used to take me out with her on shoots. She was a small-time photographer, but she did work for a few papers and did a few print ads. She loved nature shots, though, and we'd go on adventures together. I miss doing those."
His voice sounded sad at the end, and based on him being at the center, I could deduce this story wouldn't have a happy ending. Wanting to divert that topic for another time, I shared how I fell in love with photography.
"My first camera was a Polaroid, and you wouldn't find me without it," I laughed. "When I got my first film camera, I wanted to know everything about the process. It's hard to imagine everything digital now."
Jude smiled at my comment, and I resolved myself to be bold. "You know, I haven't been out shooting in a while. Perhaps, you could show me some good spots and help me get back into it? If that's cool with the rules and whatever."
"Yeah, I think it is. I mean, I'm in a foster home right now, and I just go to the center after school and on the weekends. It's better for me not to be home as much as possible," he admitted.
Well, shit. I couldn't walk away now. I had a feeling I was going to be reporting something too. Each second I spent with this kid, he tugged on my heartstrings. I wanted to say I could walk away and be fine, but I was only kidding myself. Jude had imprinted on my heart already with his shy smile and kindness.