Apathy was drowning me as I walked the dark streets of Chicago. It was dangerous to be out this late alone, but the danger was the only thing I allowed myself to feel. For some reason, the thought of staying in my apartment tonight had my skin crawling, and had driven me to do something for once. It was Saturday night and I hadn't left it since returning from my gym session Thursday night.
Getting dolled up, I slipped on a short silver dress, a pair of strappy high heels, and had on some skimpy lingerie underneath. Maybe if I dressed the part, I would feel it—it seemed to work in the movies. Plus, there was that whole concept of ‘dress for the job you wanted'. To me, that meant our mood had to be connected to our clothes to some degree, right?
It seemed to be working because I felt exhilarated at the thrill of being reckless despite my exhaustion at having to go through that beauty routine. It should terrify me, and the fact it didn't was even more alarming. Pushing that aside, I strode up to the mysterious club I had googled this afternoon.
There wasn't much information about it, just the allure and mystery of ‘walk along the edge of the dark side' and ‘awaken yourself'. Something about the ‘awaken' and ‘dark side' had drawn me in, and I found myself thinking it over for longer than I'd realized. As I approached, I spotted a line with a roped-off bouncer manning the door.
Wanting to try my luck with my new brazenness, I strode up like I belonged and nodded at the bouncer. He looked me over and seemed to accept that I passed inspection because he nodded to himself before lifting the rope and allowing me entry. Hiding the shock it had worked, I touched his arm as I walked by, smiling at him. I didn't know who I was at the moment, but I embraced it. Always leave them wanting more.
Once I was inside, I had no clue what I was doing. The interior was dark, and I could hear music playing in a central area. Flashing lights clued me on which direction to go at least. Following them and the thump of the bass, I made my way down the dark hallway. Two doors stood in front of me, at least answering my question of why the music was muted.
A girl was placed between the doors, almost like a hostess stand at a restaurant. She was dressed in a very tight, black cocktail dress, and it made me feel confident about my own outfit. Her heels were sky high, and laces wrapped up her legs, creating a remarkable effect. She smiled seductively at me as I reached her.
"Welcome to Climax, where you skirt the edge of darkness. Which side are you venturing into tonight?"
I had no clue what she was referring to, so I pointed to the door on the right with the music.
"Excellent choice. In Illusion, remember you must wear this mask at all times. Anonymity is key here, allowing our guests to experience a different side of themselves that the world inhibits. Any time you do not wish to engage with someone, just simply turn off the lights around the outside rim with a tap of your finger."
She demonstrated what she was referring to on the exquisite black lace mask. When tapped, it lit up with intricate tiny lights that had been woven through it. Pun aside, it was illuminating elegance. My heart raced with adrenaline, the knowledge I was doing this setting in.
She walked behind me and adjusted the mask as she tied the long strands into a secure bow. As the mask settled on my face, the lace felt soft against my skin. Her hands were gentle as she tied the knot and brushed my hair over my shoulder. Goosebumps erupted on my skin, and a shiver ran down my spine.
The mask and this place emboldened me and allowed me to cast away my fears and walk on the edge of darkness as described. I understood it now. They took away your inhibitions permitting you to use the mask as a shield to live out your fantasies—awakening your innermost desires.
Taking a deep breath, I walked through the door, ready to escape the heavy blanket of grief that was my constant companion. It was almost as if my subconscious agreed, and I felt lighter as I crossed the threshold. With each step, seduction grew within me, and I felt powerful. I stepped out through the corridor into the club area, and the music filled me. Part of me was curious about what was in the other section, but I also knew I wasn't ready for whatever was over there.
Men and women were scattered around the space, all with the masks attached to their faces. Most were lit, while others were not, as they sipped drinks at tables and booths. It was fairly equal in men and women. The women were dressed similar to me with short, sexy dresses and high heels. The men varied from classic suits to expensive jeans and dress shirts. Either way, everyone was attractive and exuding sex appeal. I felt my pulse race with desire at the thought of being with a stranger.
While I wasn't typically one to engage in such a fashion, the thrill of it excited me, and the no strings attached suited my needs. Most of the day, I was in a fog of pain and trying to make it from one part of my day to the next. But sometimes, at night, I would still get lonely… and, well, horny. I was a woman, and I still had needs. My vibrator was great, but it didn't make up for the feeling of being held, grabbed, and taken. I wanted to be taken.
Deciding some liquid courage wouldn't hurt, I sauntered over to the bar. Leaning against the bar top, my dress pooled around my cleavage in this position, putting it on display. My boobs in my thirties weren't as great as they used to be, but a great bra really was a girl's best friend. I wasn't one to typically display my body, but here, in this place, it felt natural. Almost as if my hidden desires had also been illuminated when I stepped through the door.
"Hello, gorgeous. What's your poison going to be tonight?" purred the attractive man in front of me.
While I couldn't make out his entire face, his dark eyes shone with amusement, and his smile promised sinful things. Maybe I would just stay right here with my panty-dropping bartender.
"Surprise me."
He winked and walked off at my words, and a momentary feeling of regret surged in me at being that bold. Hell, what was I thinking? I couldn't do this. I could pretend to be someone else on the outside all I wanted, but I was still damaged on the inside. The bartender returned and slid a drink to me, his eyes holding mine the entire time and grazing his fingers across the top of my hand as he walked off. He left me with another wink, and my knees felt weak at the indication.
Okay, maybe I wasn't as awkward as I thought. Picking up the drink, I wasn't sure what it was, but as I sipped it, I was introduced to a myriad of flavors as they spread over my tongue. Holy shit, that was amazing. I'd need to be careful and pace myself, because I would so be that girl who couldn't hold her liquor later if not.
Swirling around on the barstool, I crossed one leg over the other with the movement. The slit on the sides of the dress fell to my leg, exposing the length of my thigh. Just that simple show of skin alone made me feel like a sexy queen. The drink did its job, making me feel confident. So when a tall, dark, and handsome man walked by, I hopped up to follow.
Unfortunately, heels were not my forte, and I soon lost track of him as I weaved in and out of people to catch up with him. I made it to the second floor that appeared to be a balcony area that overlooked the dance floor below. There weren't as many people up here, so I meandered through until I found an open spot to people watch.
Leaning against the rail, I finished off my drink and placed it down at my feet. It was probably a bad idea as I was apt to kick it down below, but where else was I supposed to put it? Scooting over to put some space between me and the disastrous cup, I wasn't watching my surroundings, and I bumped into a man standing a few feet down the railing.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I was just trying to get away from that cup."
"Did the cup offend you in some grievous way? Do we need to find a manager to talk to the cup?" Laughing because that was funny, I shook my head no.
"No, I think it's safe now. And it was more from me, so I didn't accidentally take out someone below."
"Hmph. Sounds ominous, and maybe a little fun."
"I guess it could be."