"Oh my God," she chuckled. "He told them it was 'Imogen's a nuisance', and now they won't let him pass. I'll be right back. Gotta go rescue the dweeb."
I nodded discreetly to take Dakota with her, and she accepted as she stepped out of the doors.
"I didn't realize how close they'd become," Loren admitted.
"I didn't realize it was the same Jude. She talked about a new friend she made a week ago, and I didn't put two and two together even after Mas mentioned it. I was so focused on thinking I was being played. I'm sorry again about that. It's nice to see her smile again. It felt as if she wasn't ever going to shed the darkness," I confessed to Loren. She made it feel safe to disclose, and I knew she had to know some of the story, so it wasn't as if she'd ask questions. Her reassuring smile back told me I'd been right.
Laughter preceded the duo, and I was happy to finally meet the kid who'd wormed his way into both of my girls' hearts. Standing, I tried to give my best badass face as they approached the table. Loren stood and hugged him, and I watched the way he melted into her embrace. Immy gave me a look when she noticed what I was doing, but I ignored her, prepared to give my best disapproving look.
When Jude stepped back from Loren, I wasn't prepared for him to start giving me the third degree instead.
"What are your intentions with Loren? Do you treat her well? Why should I approve of you?"
Momentarily stunned, my jaw dropped open, and I stood stock-still as I regarded the kid. Loren and Immy broke out into chuckles, but Jude remained stoic, arms crossed as he took my measure.
"Um, well. I care for her a lot, and I treat her like a queen. Wait, why do I need your approval? Shouldn't you be trying to get mine?" Scratching my head, I sat back down, not sure where I stood now. Was I not scary anymore? Had I lost my street cred? Were my tattoos not intimidating enough?
At my confusion, the three of them broke out into more giggles, and after pouting like an insolent child for a minute, I joined them, realizing I'd been played.
"Okay, kid. I'll give you props for the reverse psychology there. You threw me off my game. I'm Nicco, by the way."
Reaching over, I offered him my hand and was glad when he took it. Weirdly, I did still feel a little like I was trying to seek his approval. It was the weirdest thing I'd ever felt, but perhaps, it was because I'd never dated anyone long enough to seek approval from their family and friends.
"We've got to try this! It's new, and the chef was telling me about it. Plus, as a newbie sushi connoisseur, you need to try these, and oh, what about this?"
Immy excitedly professed, bouncing in her seat as she went back and forth over the menu with Jude. I noticed he stared at her with stars in his eyes, and I knew that while they might be only friends at the moment, it probably wasn't staying that status for long. Not if the side looks she gave Jude when he wasn't looking were indicators of her feelings.
"Let's just order a little of everything, and then we can all try it," Loren suggested.
"Sensible. I'm game," I agreed, closing the menu.
"Oh, let me order! Please!"
Nodding to let Immy order, I kept studying her and was amazed by the changes since I'd last hung out with her. Pulling Loren close, I whispered in her ear, "I know you can't say anything, but whatever you've done for Immy, it's working. So, thankyou. The difference in her is astronomical."
"I can't take the credit for that. Immy's done all the work. She's an amazing kid and so strong. I think having all you strong men in her life has helped her be. It's not going to be easy or smooth the rest of it away, but she made a big step today."
"Well, you can say all day long how you didn't do anything, beautiful. But I know you did. Just being your amazing self was enough."
"You're just saying that because you want to spend more time with my amazing self… naked."
"Oh, no doubt I do. But I'm not saying it for that reason. What's that thing you're always saying? Don't dismiss my compliments? Accept it. Deal?"
Loren turned her head, our noses practically touching as she searched my eyes for something before responding. "Deal."
Kissing her softly, I pulled back to the sounds of gagging from across the table. Smirking, I threw a piece of the garnish at Immy, causing her to shriek and use Jude to hide behind. The poor boy's ears turned bright red at her touch, but he looked pleased to shield her. I wondered if Loren had picked up on this budding relationship yet. While I trusted them, we would need to watch them. Immy's life wasn't easy, and anyone she brought into it would have to understand the risk.
The sinking realization I wasn't being fair to Loren hit me square in the chest. Sax's words from earlier echoed in my mind, our girl. Had he been referring to Loren? At first, I'd assumed he meant Immy, but replaying it now, and it felt more connected to Loren. I'd noticed their spark the other week at the fight. I'd told Loren I wanted her to explore, to be able to live and do things she'd never been able to with her ex.
Part of myself was screaming, idiot! The other part knew it had been the wiser choice, the better option. I needed to accept my feelings and let her do this. I didn't want to be like her ex and restrict her, and while I felt our connection was growing, this life was dangerous, and who knew if I would even be around ten years down the road. I was looking for a way out of the family, but it wasn't a guarantee I'd be granted it.
I couldn't promise her anything at the moment. The reality of the statement sat heavy in my chest. Maybe I was only kidding myself. Was I only setting myself up for a potential heartbreak? No, this was the best course of action. Casual and open. It was the least amount of risk with the highest level of reward. It meant I needed to guard my heart and make sure I wasn't cashing checks for feelings I couldn't afford to repay later.
The waiters placed the food on the table, effectively breaking the reverie I'd fallen into. I looked around the room and noticed Dakota was still inside. He nodded as I glanced over, and I returned it. They were good at their job. You forgot they were there the majority of the time. Taking my arm off the back of Loren's chair, I felt myself start to withdraw inwardly.
It would be for the best to protect us both. She needed the room to explore, and I needed to protect her from a life that was dark and dangerous. Loren was too pure for this life. She could have dreams, and a future not built on the backs of others or the hope of an impossible escape. Immy noticed my change in demeanor and gave me a worried look. She understood, but I think her teenage optimism would always hope for happily ever afters, even for bad guys like me.
"Oh my goodness, this is amazing!" Loren exclaimed, happily eating the sushi, unaware of the turmoil I faced. I watched silently as they taught Jude how to hold his chopsticks and how to make the perfect wasabi-soy bite. It was bittersweet to be here. I got a glimpse of what having a family could feel like, what having a future with this amazing woman would be like. Only to have to censor myself, water down my past, or ignore the guards to remember what was really at play here.