Leif seemed especiallyfussy that night, perhaps because he’d missed Alexa and the breast over the past twenty-four hours, and she was up twice in the night with him.
“Let me get up and at least give him a bottle,” I said when Leif woke up the second time.
“No, no,” Alexa said. “I want to hold him and feed him. I think it will reassure him that all is well and he’s safe.”
“Okay, but the offer stands.”
I watched as she slipped out of bed and went to his room to feed him. In a moment, I could hear on the baby monitor the sound of him snuffling as he searched for the breast, found it and began nursing. I got up and had a pee, then went to the door to the nursery. Alexa hummed a soft lullaby while she rocked in the rocker beside his crib.
It was a picture-perfect sight. We had a nightlight made up of the constellations that slowly turned around, making the ceiling look like a night sky. Alexa was sitting in the rocking chair in her nightie, one shoulder strap pulled down, Leif’s little face pressed against her breast.
My two people — my favorite two people in the world. I couldn’t wait for Leif to grow up and I could teach him everything I knew about life, and I could learn from him how to be a good loving father.
I didn’t think I could possibly feel any more love and happiness than at that moment in time and wanted to capture it, so I went to get my camera, adjusted the settings for low light, and then snapped a photo of the two of them, the stars above their head.
One day, I would show it to him, but until then, it would be the screensaver to my cell and on my laptop, to remind me of just how lucky and happy I was.