CHAPTER1
June 2019
Alexa
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“One night isn’t enough.”
My mother ’s voice was disapproving. She stood in front of her laptop on a FaceTime call with me, her hands on her hips.
“You two need two nights away, minimum, so make sure you pump enough milk for as many feedings as you’ll miss.”
I hesitated. Could I really leave Leif for two whole days? He was only six weeks old…
“I don’t know if I can do that,” I said, sitting in front of my own laptop. My mom had sent me a message that she wanted to FaceTime and offered to give Luke and I a weekend off so we could have some time to ourselves. Leif was now six weeks old and was doing well by all standards.
Luke and I were tired, but happy. We’d barely had a day to ourselves since Leif was born, but both of us were glad to have the chance to stay home with him during his first year. We knew that many families didn’t have that luxury.
“You can feed him all day Friday, and your dad and I will give him his evening feed and the one in the middle of the night. If you pump enough bottles, you can spend the day together, Saturday night, and then come back Sunday. We’ll be fine.”
“I’ll have to pump all week so that we have enough bottles. That’s…” I counted the number of feeds between Friday evening and Sunday evening. “That’s at least sixteen bottles…”
“If you’d supplement with formula, you wouldn’t have to pump so much.”
“We’re not ready for that yet. Maybe when Leif is six months old, we’ll introduce him to some formula. Not until.”
“Okay,” Mom said with a sigh. “Have it your way. If you wait until Saturday, you’ll be so tired, you won’t be able to enjoy your first evening and night alone. You know what I mean. You’ll both sleep like logs. You want to have a nice romantic dinner and then spend the evening together enjoying each other’s company.”
I knew what she meant, of course. Luke and I could spend the evening enjoying each other’s bodies, which we had rarely done since Leif came into our lives. The first six weeks I spent healing and trying to adjust to twice a night feedings.
“We’ll be happy just to sleep through the night if possible.”
She clicked her tongue in disapproval. “You’ll have to get up and pump, so I bet you won’t sleep through the night.”
“I tell you what,” I said. “We’ll go on Friday, and I can nip home once during the day on Saturday to feed Leif. That way, you won’t have to do so many feeds. I can do the same on Sunday, and then we can go for a sail in the afternoon. That would be really nice.”
“Deal,” Mom said, and I could hear the relief in her voice. “You can feed Leif, go out for a nice meal in a real restaurant, then go to the hotel, have a good unbroken sleep, and then come by in the afternoon to feed Leif. Rinse, repeat. Your dad and I are happy to stay with Leif both nights.”
“Okay,” I said and took in a deep breath. “How about next Friday? That will give me time to bank some bottles of milk, so you’ll have enough. Two a day should do the trick.”
“I’ll leave that part to you,” Mom said with a chuckle. “In my day, we didn’t worry about pumping because we started to bottle feed as soon as possible.”
“I know. Thanks for the offer. I’m sure Luke will be happy.”
We said goodbye and I ended the call, smiling as I thought about the chance to spend a weekend alone with Luke, and most of all, to get a really great sleep.
That had been the one thing — besides sex — missing in our lives.
Frankly, at that point in the new motherhood thing, sleep was what I missed the most because Luke was always there right beside me. Sex was the very last thing I thought about. I was sure that Luke was still in need, because other than sleep interruption, he wasn’t as physically affected as I was, but he was discreet enough that I didn’t hear him taking matters into his own hands, so to speak.
For the next week, I pumped as many bottles of breast milk as I could, placing them in the freezer so they’d stay fresh for our weekend away.
When Friday came, Luke and I were nervous about leaving Leif, but excited about the chance to eat a meal in a restaurant and actually sleep. We planned on going to bed at ten o’clock, and sleeping until at least three in the morning, when I figured I’d have to wake and pump. Then, another six or seven hours of sleep after that.
We’d both feel right as rain.
Mom and Dad showed up at six on the dot and were happy to take Leif from my reluctant arms.
“You kids go now,” my father said, shooing us out the front door. “Take your overnight bags and git. Your mom and I know what we’re doing. You’ll be fine. See you tomorrow!”
He literally pushed us through the front entrance, smiling as he did.
“Thanks, Dad,” I said and gave him a quick kiss. I glanced back at my mother, who was holding Leif and staring lovingly at his little mostly bald head.
I knew she would be very happy to have him all to herself all weekend. My dad would be lucky to get any Leif time and I smiled as I imagined them fighting over who got to hold and change and bathe and feed him.
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