14
MERCEDES
“Ouch.” Solana bustles through my door, glancing over her shoulder at the parking lot where I’m certain she ran across Judge. “What happened there?”
“Nothing I want to talk about.” I turn and busy myself with the dishes so she can’t see my face. I’m haunted by what I saw in Judge’s eyes when I delivered that blow.
Maybe I don’t want you…
The truth and the lie are so gnarled between those words that I’m not even sure of it myself. Because I do want Judge. I know I always will. But I’m not going to accept scraps. Not for myself, and certainly not for my children.
“Hey, are you okay?” Solana presses her fingers into my back, not forcing me to look at her, for which I’m grateful.
“I don’t know. I feel so stupid for letting myself get sucked back into his orbit every time he looks at me. How am I supposed to move on when he’s literally sitting outside of my house every night? Hot one minute, cold the next. I can’t deal with it anymore. He doesn’t want me, but he doesn’t want to let me go either.”
Solana’s silence is uncharacteristic, and when I do finally turn to look at her, she’s gnawing on her lip.
“What?” I sigh. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I don’t know,” she says cautiously. “I just hate seeing you like this. You both look so… miserable.”
At this, my spine straightens, and I shake my head in denial. “Well, I’m not. It’s just frustrating. I didn’t negotiate my freedom to spend my days playing a mental tennis match about what Judge is going to do next. I’m trying to establish a life here, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”
Solana wisely chooses not to comment further and instead takes over dish duty while I go get ready. Step one in forgetting about my broken heart is staying busy, and we’ve got a full schedule ahead of us today.
After I tear through half my closet, only to settle on a pair of leggings and an oversized T-shirt, we head to the birthing class. Georgie joins us for the occasion, then promptly becomes traumatized ten minutes into it, and opts to wait outside instead. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that the IVI guard he’s had his eye on is there to keep him company.
Once we’re finished with class, we hit the mall and several children’s stores to grab some baby furniture, which Georgie has promised to help me assemble. I purchase a new phone while we’re out too, transferring my old number to it, and effectively cutting Judge off from that line of communication he controlled.
When that’s finished, we meet Ivy for lunch and finalize our plans for the baby shower, which will be next month. She’s thrown herself into the project, and I’m grateful for it, but I can’t help feeling it’s really not necessary for her to go to so much trouble. The only people who’ll be showing up for it are my small group of friends and possibly Santiago if he cares to join. Regardless, it’s something positive to focus on, and I’m happy to see that Ivy gets along well with Solana and Georgie too.
By the time we get back to the condo, I’m too tired to cook anything, so I order us pizza while Georgie somehow commandeers his crush, aka Drew the IVI guard, to help him assemble the cribs.
“He’s got a talent for that.” Solana watches in amusement from the kitchen as they sort through the pieces on the floor, Georgie pretending he has a clue what he’s doing.
“He can smooth talk his way into anything.” I roll my eyes.
Solana brings a piece of red licorice to her lips, chomps on it, and nods. “So what do you think the chances are Georgie will have that guard out of his black cargo pants by the end of the night?”
I snort. “I would say pretty good with the way they keep eyeing each other. But it won’t go over too red-hot with Santiago if it happens while the guard’s on duty.”
“Makes sense.” Solana sighs, her eyes drifting somewhere distant. “Although it would be nice if one of us was getting laid.”
I feel my face flush at the reminder of Judge fucking me in my entryway last night, but I figure it’s probably best not to bring that up.
“I’m sure you could find plenty of willing volunteers.” I turn my attention to her.
She shrugs. “I guess. But they’re all boring. I need a challenge. Someone who can handle me, you know?”
I laugh and shake my head absently as my phone chimes with a message. My stomach drops when I see that it’s from Judge.
You transferred your phone number?
Why it should surprise me that he’s aware of this already, I don’t know. Regardless, I decide it’s best not to answer.
“Hey.” Solana’s voice brings me back to the present, and when I look up at her, she’s chewing on the end of her licorice in thought. “What’s up with Judge’s brother?”
I feel the color drain from my face as I study her. “Theron?”
She pauses her chewing, clearly concerned. “What is it?”
“He’s an asshole,” I declare, a little too emphatically. “Why do you ask?”
“Is that supposed to be a surprise?” She arches a brow in question. “I’m guessing it’s a family trait.”
“It’s not the same.” I shake my head and force down a gulp of water from my glass. “Theron is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”
“How so?” Solana presses.