“We agreed to this.”
“My mom must have agreed, too.”
“West, you’re leaving after all of this. You’re going back to LA, permanently. This isn’t a way for you to have your cake and eat it too. If you were doing that, you’d string me along. You’d make me believe that this could work when you were gone. You’d get to have me when you could have me, and you’d have whoever you wanted in LA, too.”
I cringed at that thought. “I’d never do that,” I said with vehemence.
She smiled. “I know. That’s the point. You’re not like him.” She threaded our fingers together. “It’s hard. All of it is hard. I know all about hard. I lost my mom when I was fourteen. Then, Campbell left for LA the following year. Hollin was in college. It was just me and Dad, and he was grieving. So, it felt like it was I was all alone. We’re all close now, but we’re still recovering from the wound that her absence left behind.”
“Growing up like that must have been difficult,.”
“It was isolating. My brothers weren’t around much, but just enough to scare off any boys who might have shown interest. My dad was a shell for the first year, and by the time he started noticing me again, he became super protective as well. I wasn’t always close with my mom, but life would have been different with her still here. Sometimes, I feel guilty, thinking life would have been better. That I would have had some defense against everyone’s protective instincts.”
“You shouldn’t feel guilty about that. Of course you want your mom back.”
She pressed a kiss to my lips. “We’re both a little fucked up, aren’t we?”
I chuckled. “Did you have a childhood if you aren’t?”
“Fair. What are you going to do about your dad?”
I sighed heavily and rolled onto my back. She snuggled in close, laying her head on my chest.
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t have to decide today. Just leave the door open. You’ll know what to do when the time is right.”
“Thanks, Nor,” I said, running my fingers back through her hair.
“Of course.”
Her breathing slowed again, and then when I was sure that she was asleep, I reluctantly withdrew. I looked down at this beautiful girl and wondered if she was right. Was I really nothing like my dad? Because at times, I felt like I was following in his footsteps, and I hated myself for it.
I headed back to my room alone. I’d almost fallen asleep when I’d been at Nora’s side. Now, I stared up at the ceiling, wishing for that same comfort and finding none of it.