I swallowed hard and stared down at our interlocked fingers. Quietly, I said the shit that had been on my mind all night, “You’re sad.”
She was quiet for a moment before answering. “Isn’t everyone?”
“Not like you. Did your lover boy break it off with you?”
Silence greeted me before she shifted closer, her free hand resting on my abdomen as she snuggled against me. I focused on keeping my breathing even at her nearness.
“Yeah. It wasn’t going to work out. It wasn’t a surprise. It just hurt.” Her words tapered off into a soft whisper.
I grunted. I hated the happiness building within me at the idea of that shit going to hell.
“Want some?” I held out the remainder of the joint, not knowing what the hell else to say to her to make her feel better. The reality of it was, she was better off.
She hesitated for a moment. “Promise you won’t lose me this time?”
I studied her for a moment before nodding. “Yeah. Promise.”
She took the joint and sucked in her hit, all the beauty in the fucking world at my side.
I was definitely too fucking high for this shit.
Thirty-Five
Bianca
“You ever get, like, so tired of the games?” I stared up at Levin’s ceiling, him lying at my side, both of us high off our asses.
The night had turned out better than I’d anticipated. When I’d first heard I’d be stuck with him all night, I’d figured it would only make my bad mood worse. Knowing Fallon and I were over before we’d even got the chance to start had hurt me. I really liked him. And the sex. . . oh my God. Now, I was back to square one, only this time, feeling lonely and needing to feel something besides the ache of it.
“I don’t know,” Levin mumbled. “I win all the games, so it doesn’t matter to me.”
I propped up on my elbow and peered down at him. He dragged his hazy eyes from the ceiling and stared up at me.
“You don’t win all the games.”
“I win enough. The ones that matter.”
“Why play the ones that don’t?”
“Why not? Either I’m torturing and killing people or I’m a player in a game. Seems like the game is infinitely more enjoyable than ending a life.”
“So you don’t like killing people?”
He snorted. “I love killing people. It’s who I am, but I do get bored on occasion.”
“And that’s when you play games.” I sighed. “Am I just a game to the kings?”
“Yes.”
My heart fell. I already knew what I was. It didn’t change the stupid feelings I had though.
“I’m going to lose, huh?”
In a stunning move, he reached out and cradled my face. My heart banged hard as I couldn’t stop myself from nuzzling against his warm touch. Levin never did these things. I wanted to think he’d touched me because he cared, but with as much as he’d drunk and smoked, it was probably his high making the move. I didn’t stop him though, and that screamed volumes about me.
“Of course, you are,” he said gently. “But it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t play.”
“You know I actually like you guys, right?” I whispered.