You may remove your bracelet at any time. I left the key for you with this note. It was never your soul that was bartered, it has always been mine. When I found the Western Temple destroyed upon my return to land, I promised the Goddess that I would seek vengeance for those who honored Her, for you, if She would only grant me the ability to find you again. She has honored Her part of the bargain. I will continue to honor mine.
I’m sorry to have left without telling you. Sailors are a superstitious lot, we believe it is bad luck to say “goodbye,” so I wish you good fortune and hope that when I return, I will see you again. It’s not fair to ask you to wait for me, but I hope you will. Perhaps you will say a prayer to Her for my safe return.
Even though leaving you means leaving a part of myself behind, I can not ask you to come with me. I will not be an influence on your choices — you deserve to make a life of your own choosing for once, here, or anywhere you desire. Do not be influenced by me, Marie, or who your aunt was. You deserve to be happy, whatever that means. I promise you I will be back. I will always come back for you. I hope you will be here for me to return to.
You own my heart and soul. You have since I first laid eyes on you, and you always will. I love you, Nerissa.
Forever yours, with all my heart,
Billy
My heart shatters completely, pounding erratically in my chest, as I rapidly read and reread the words. A sob escapes my lips, even though I hold a hand across my mouth, as I sink to my knees on the hard floorboards, clutching the parchment in my fist. As I kneel, I cast my eyes around to seek out the source of the metallic sound I heard when I picked up the note. A glint catches my eye across the floor, and I crawl to find the tiny screwdriver that unlocks the gold bangle at my wrist. In my anger, I throw it farther across the room.
If he felt this way, why didn’t he just tell me last night? Why didn’t he ask me to come with him? To at least see him off at the docks?
But I know.
It would have been too hard for us to say goodbye this morning; neither of us would want the crew to see our emotions like that. We are two of a kind, our masks firmly in place and emotions reined in when we are in the public eye. He thinks he is honoring me by giving me choices, but he took away my choice to come with him by leaving me like this.
I hurry to the window and rip open the curtains before pushing open the shutters. It’s still early morning; the sun has barely risen, and warm pink and orange light paints the buildings as it continues its ascent. It might not be too late.
I rush back through the door between our rooms and throw open my trunk, grabbing some of the new garments. I dress quickly, dash out the door, and down the stairs to the courtyard.
A few of the servants are milling about already, preparing for the day, and one girl has to jump out of my way as I storm out the door into the street. I can only hope the ship is leaving from the docks, and not from the small bay we originally dropped anchor in. If I choose wrong, I will miss them. Knowing they had to load new supplies and offload others, I assume the docks are the most logical choice, so I turn in that direction, running with the rising sun in my eyes.
Panting, I reach the docks and look around, placing my hands on my knees as I try to catch my breath. A painful stitch burns in my ribs from the sprint, and my heart has still not slowed since Lennox’s letter ratcheted it into a frenzy. My eyes desperately rove over each body that comes into my line of sight, searching for anyone from the crew of the Bartered Soul still on land. Sailors mill around, a few giving me surprised looks at my harried appearance, but none are familiar.
A few ships already move through the water toward the open sea, while several others are anchored in berths with crates and barrels being loaded, but the sun is still in my eyes, so it isn’t easy to tell which they are. I run up a set of stairs for a better vantage point over the crates and barrels, scanning the ships still anchored. None of them have a familiar crew, and I do not see the priestess figurehead I am so well acquainted with.
My heart stutters as I look closer at the ships already sailing away. The Bartered Soul is gone. From this view, I can tell she is one of the ships cutting through the turquoise sea. For a moment I fear my knees may give out.
To prevent myself from collapsing, I slowly lower myself to my knees and try to catch my breath. I wrap my arms around my chest to try to hold myself together and to push down the rising panic.
This isn’t the end.
He will come back.
I can begin planning while he is gone, and when he returns, I will have an idea of how we move forward. Together. I can tell him how I feel, and I can avoid being parted from him again. I keep breathing, trying to hold in my emotions, to draw the mask back over my face before I go back to pack up my belongings. As I breathe and turn in on myself, I vaguely hear the swift step of approaching boots.
“So, it seems that we’ll take turns chasing each other through the streets, then?” a deep rumble says at my side.
I choke on a breathless sob as I look up — eyes trailing up boots, breeches, a fine lightweight coat in emerald green — before meeting a matching green gaze as Lennox stands over me with the sun at his back.
“I won’t deny it. I had hoped you might try to catch us.” Lennox gives a small smile, extending his hand to help me off my knees. He trembles slightly at my touch, riding the emotions I am trying to tamp down myself.
“You left me,” I breathe into his chest as he pulls me into a firm embrace,“Without saying anything.”
“I didn’t want you to make a decision based on me. You deserve to be free,” he says into my hair, caressing the back of my head with his large hand as he still holds me against him. He then holds me away from him and scans my clothing.
“Interesting new wardrobe,” he smirks.
Dressed almost identically to him, my tall leather boots fit over slim-fitting breeches, topped with a linen tunic, and a midnight blue lightweight coat similar in style to his emerald one, but in a more feminine size. I have also commissioned a belt with a sheath for my dagger — I no longer plan to keep it hidden in a pocket.
“I figured if I plan on becoming a pirate, I should take clothing inspiration from a fashionable expert,” I explain, raising my brows and pursing my lips, waiting for his reply.
“A pirate? You want to come with us then?” His eyes light up as he studies my face for an explanation, his grin stretching across his face.
“I do. I want to come with you. You are my choice. You and this crew are my family now, along with Siobhan and Lyra. I want to help take care of them, and everyone like us. I don’t want to be apart from you,” I whisper. I look up at him, waiting for his response.