“I’m sorry,” he says as he tries to sit up, grimacing at the pain the motion causes. “I didn’t think it was urgent. I’ll be fine,”
“Lay back, you stubborn thing.” My irritation hides the fear creeping over me at his high temperature and flushed skin. “I’ll make you a tea of willow bark to ease the pain. We need to get this fever under control.” Standing, I fetch the water, pouring it into a glass for him before pulling on the simple navy dress Lyra brought me. Once dressed, I reach for the door, letting in the dawn light as I go to gather supplies.
Lennox’s eyes track my movement across the cabin, and I glance back at him before leaving. “I’ll be right back.”
Erik is awake, despite the early hour, and meets my eye as I exit the cabin. I wave in acknowledgment before heading down to my surgery to gather any herbs that might be of use at the Captain’s side.
The sight of Lennox sitting in bed when I return has the worry in my chest releasing its grip slightly. His head is tipped down as he toys with the pages of the novel that still lays on the coverlet.
“I hadn’t guessed you were a hopeless romantic, but then I saw you were reading that, so I had to find out more,” I smile, walking past him to place the supplies on the table. Mixing some of the willow bark into hot water, I leave it to steep and then return to his side.
“It’s one of my favorites. A remnant of my youth, I suppose. I blame unrequited love,” he responds, glancing down at his hands, running his fingers over the scarred knuckles.
I chuckle softly, watching his hands fidget, twisting one of the rings on his finger. “A lonely pirate searching for lost love, hmm? Sounds like a novel in and of itself.”
My smile slips from my face when I take in his countenance. His color is high from the fever, and his full lips are chapped from the wind and sea and dehydration. But his eyes… they are ablaze as he meets my stare, and tightens his jaw.
“I asked if you participated in the rites,” he says solemnly, gaze never leaving my face. I nod silently in response and swallow nervously, unable to speak or look away.
“You gave yourself in honor of the Goddess eleven years ago this past summer. In a grove outside the temple we saw in ruins at the Port of Athene.”
I blink at his statement, taken aback that he would know this — I had never provided those details to him. Realization dawns on me, and my body begins to shake as the truth finally washes over me.
The masked figurehead on his ship.
The green eyes haunting my dreams.
His false hair color.
“It was you,” I breathe, heart galloping wildly in my chest.
“It was me,” he whispers in response. “I loved you the moment I saw you step into the firelight that evening. You were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.” He takes my hand carefully, as if he fears I may bolt.
“I was tormented every day knowing what happened at that temple while I was trapped at sea. I feared you were lost with the rest of your sisters. When you came to Celeste’s, she told me about you, but I couldn’t be sure until I set eyes on you again. As soon as I saw you, I knew it had to be you.”
“I don’t understand.” The words leave my mouth as I shake my head, trying to make sense of this. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? What about all the girls you took and never brought back? Why are you telling me this now?” The questions tumble from my mouth. One hand is still cocooned in his warm grip, but my free one toys with the seam of my skirt.
“I had to keep up my reputation — a pirate lord with a weakness? I couldn’t allow it to be known. Couldn’t risk your security. Once I knew I was taking Lyra across the sea, I knew I could bring you to safety, too. As for the girls… ” His eyes roam over my face, trying to read my response, “have you not noticed the gender of many of my crew?”
I open and close my mouth several times, but no words come. I don’t know if I feel betrayed or exalted. In response to my silence, he continues.
“I give the girls an option once they are aboard; they can learn the trade and go on the account, or they can leave at another harbor with a pouch of gold and make their own life. Outside of a brothel. Outside of the King’s law. They know they will be safe here, and many choose to stay. Any who wish to return, and there aren’t many, don’t dare speak the truth to anyone to protect the others.”
I continue to sit beside him in stunned silence, his hand hot in mine. Remembering his tea steeping, I shakily rise to retrieve it.
“I just needed you to know, in case…” He swallows. “In case this wound takes me. I needed you to understand. I don’t expect anything from you,” he says quietly to my back.
His gaze is locked on his fingers when I return to his side, nervously twisting one of the gold rings he wears around the long digit again. Gone is the vicious creature I watched on the deck of a conquered ship, and, in his stead, sits a gentle boy fearing rejection. I place the mug in his hands and sit on the mattress next to him.
“I— ” I begin, but falter, needing to gather my thoughts. “I have dreamt of that night. It’s surfaced here and there over the years, but it’s come to me several times since boarding this ship. I think… I think I knew it was you, Billy,” I say, taking his hand again.
At the gesture, he looks up at me in surprise.
“You will not succumb to this wound. I forbid it.” My eyes burn fiercely into his, and our lips meet in a desperate kiss, his rough and hot with fever, mine cool with the chill of the early morning.
I break the kiss with force, leaning back. “Now, drink that, and rest. We still have a long journey ahead of us, and the ship needs a Captain.”
“Yes, my she-wolf. I wouldn’t want to disappoint you,” he says weakly, cupping my cheek in his rough palm before taking a sip of the bitter liquid. Once the cup is drained, I sponge cool water on his brow as he falls into a fitful sleep.