At her age, I doubt if she has ever seen a priestess in her ceremonial attire before; not many younger people have. Those who grew up near the temples or worshipped in the villages perished when Blackwell sent his men to clear out heretics. Tomorrow will be a special night for all of us, it seems.
Chapter 15
The next day I stay in my cabin, while Lyra and Charlie agree to bring me food or items I might need from my surgery. I sip tea and bathe, making sure my hair and body are as clean as I can get them on a ship with limited fresh water. Alone, I am free to sit in prayer and contemplation at my leisure now, no longer worried about prying eyes who might turn me into the King’s men, or customers to satisfy. The fear that has weighed me down for so many years lifts momentarily today, replaced with the pleasant tingle of anticipation for the sight of the full moon over the open sea.
I am still vexed with the Captain, even though he truly owes me no explanations or honesty, but that irritation is tempered with gratitude and curiosity at the invitation to hold ceremony tonight. Pushing my tumultuous emotions aside for this evening, I gather my jewelry and robe. My eyes close on a deep inhale, holding it for only a moment, savoring this feeling that I have missed for so long, and begin my preparations.
The sun has set fully by the time I step from our cabin. Lyra walks ahead of me up the stairs, and I focus on climbing the slick steps without stumbling. My hands still tremble, but I cannot let my nervousness be seen. Tonight, I will be the priestess I once was, whether these men believe in me and the Goddess or not.
My robe is cut low and fitted in the front, revealing my collar bone and sternum, then gathers at the waist before falling to my feet. A deep slash up one thigh allows space to move and dance freely, or, in the case of fertility and other rites, to make love without removing the garment. The gold choker lays against my skin, visible on my exposed neck and breastbone. A chain connecting it from the front of my throat to my navel drapes between my breasts before attaching to another thin chain that brackets my waist. My hair is braided in a crown with the back flowing loosely down to my waist, and the gold circlet floats across my brow.
As my bare foot touches the main deck, I’m greeted by a collective intake of breath. The crew stands pressed against the rails, while Captain Lennox and Erik stand on the quarter deck overseeing the entire group. I look up at Lennox once, and the romantic fool in me thinks his breath catches when our eyes meet. I quickly direct my gaze to my destination in the middle of the deck; I cannot allow myself to be distracted by him now.
The moon is full over the calm sea, her reflection illuminating the crew and slick boards of the deck. Brilliant pinpricks of light sparkle across the sky as the stars join in a show of twinkling light. For the first time in many years, my heart lightens and joy spreads over me.
I’m free, even if just for tonight. I’m finally beneath the stars again.
I take a deep breath and begin.
Before King Dargan outlawed the Old Ways, full moon celebrations were used to thank the Goddess for blessings, to harness the height of the moon’s energy, and to manifest desires. Although each moon phase has its own uses, emotions and desires of all types are heightened during the full moon time. Nervous energy radiating from the men on deck surrounds me, and even though the King has outlawed their practice, the power of the Old Ways is felt strongly amongst these men.
My breasts peak in the cool ocean breeze, and my mind wanders to nights at the temple when I performed other, more pleasurable, rituals under the white glow of the full moon. I stoop, lighting a candle and filling a small cup with wine as an offering to honor the Goddess. Rising to my feet again, I raise my arms and begin an ancient chant of thanks to Her.
My voice stumbles once as warmth spreads in my chest, a sensation that was once commonplace, but has been absent for almost a decade — since I lost the companionship of my sister priestesses. The heat blossomed when other voices joined me in my prayer. I continue speaking the words, but as the chant ends and a song begins, more voices lift. Higher-pitched feminine voices.
The heat in my breast radiates through my limbs, and I don’t know if I am more shocked at the return of this feeling, or at the fact that there are far more women on this ship than I knew. My gaze snaps from the moon to the faces that surround me, and understanding dawns on me as to how many secrets have truly been kept right in front of me all along.
The fresh-faced boys that work alongside these hardened sailors… they’re all women.
I turn quickly to face Lennox and Erik; both are moving their mouths with the lyrics even though they are too far away for me to hear. The Captain’s eyes burn into mine, a wry smile forming as he moves his lips to the words of the song.
How many more secrets lay in wait for me to uncover on this voyage?
My curiosity dims when I inspect my hands and find that, although they feel warm and tingly with power, they appear outwardly unchanged; only long, pale fingers greet me in the white moonlight. I blink several times, willing the heat in my chest to strengthen, to outwardly show what has been kept hidden so long, but even as the song crescendos, my hands remain the same, with no hint of the glow I once possessed.
* * *
After the ceremony, I return to my cabin to change out of my robe, laying it lovingly across my bed to allow the hem to dry from the sea spray on the deck. Glancing at the dresses I have laid out, I decide that if we are venturing into the men’s — well, crew’s — mess area, perhaps I should look the part.
Setting the dresses aside, I pull out one of the plain shirts and grey trousers that were provided in the collection from my trunk. I have never worn men’s clothing before, so the idea of my body being exposed without being nude is novel to me. A smile spreads across my face as I slip into the outfit, carefully tucking my shirt in, before walking down the hold toward the bow where the crew awaits.
From the open doorway, my eyes immediately find Lyra in her cobalt dress. She sits next to Lennox in one of only a few chairs at the head of the noisy room, like a princess and a king on their dais. The rest of the crew crowds together on benches gathered around tables that pull down from the walls. They clutch the side of their plates with one arm and shovel food into their mouths with the other as they laugh and talk. Lanterns swing from beams on the ceiling and hang from sporadically placed hooks along the walls to cast the room in an amber glow.
When the first table notices me walk through the entryway, silence descends on the room. Several crew members, some of the ones I mistook for boys before, stand and approach me. They each gently take my hand, kissing my fingers in respect, and I squeeze their fingers in acknowledgment. Each time, they quickly return to their places and allow me to continue my walk to where the Captain sits. Lennox stands to pull out the chair to his right for me when I approach. Once I take my seat, he raises his glass of wine. The crew mimics his motion, raising their ration of the fine wine that was distributed on this celebratory evening.
“To our priestess and healer, Andromeda.” He cuts his eyes to me when he says my name, our little secret passing between us. “May she bring us blessings and comfort in the days ahead, remind us of the good times we’ve had in the past, and the vengeance we seek in the future.”
The crew cheers and I join in the toast, clinking my glass with Lyra’s and Lennox’s before drinking, the red wine smooth on my tongue. Everyone seems to settle back into their meals, the volume rising again as the crewmembers joke and shout to each other. I quietly observe them all, noting the ones that are obviously female now that I know the truth, inspecting the men with curiosity.
Surely they all knew the truth?
“You were brilliant tonight,” the Captain whispers in my ear. “Like the Moon herself.”
Shivers scuttle down my spine, and gooseflesh springs on my arms, as my stomach tumbles at his nearness. His warm breath reminds me of our time together yesterday, and I blush, wondering if the men really could hear me cry out from his cabin.
“Oh, they heard you.” He smiles against my ear as if reading my mind. “And if they didn’t, we should make sure they do next time.”
“Who says there will be a next time, Captain?” I retort, glancing at him with my brows raised in feigned innocence.