Heidi
He watches me from across the room. It’s a little unnerving, but at the same time, there’s something in his gaze that heats my entire body. I know I shouldn’t think of Trek like that, but I can’t stop myself. At night I imagine what it would be like to be with him. Not just the sex but to truly be with him. Would he treat me well? Would he love me at some point? Wishful thinking and dreams. I know it would never and could never happen. I’m too damaged, and he isn’t here to repair me. He’s helping me, and that means more to me than he could ever know.
“The man stares at you like he wants to devour you,” Evie says as she sits next to me.
“I don’t think that’s what the look is,” I tell her.
“You can’t see that? Then you’re blind, honey. I know what a man looks like when he can’t get enough,” she says. I look up at Trek and catch his gaze, our eyes colliding. It takes a minute, but he finally pulls his eyes from mine and goes back to the conversation he’s having with the guys.
“He’s just being nice.”
“There’s a line between being nice and wanting. I’m more than certain that’s want in his eyes.” I smile a little, but I don’t say anything further. I don’t see the same thing she does. Instead, I see a man who wants to help an old friend. That’s it.
We sit in silence for a few minutes, lost in our thoughts. Trek finally walks over and drops into the chair next to me.
“You gonna be ready to ride?” I look down at the shorts and shirt that Evie lent me and wonder if they’re okay to ride in.
“I don’t know. You tell me.”
“I can get you some jeans, honey. The shirt is fine,” Evie chimes in before she’s on her feet and walking away from us.
“I think you look fine in that, but she’s right. Jeans are probably better to ride in.” I nod my head and pick at the label on my water bottle while Trek stares at me.
“Why are you staring at me?” Unable to stay quiet any longer, I blurt out.
“There’s just somethin’ I can’t place.”
“What do you mean?”
“Can’t explain it.” Just like that, he’s shut down and closed off, not saying a word.
Evie comes back with a pair of jeans and hands them to me. I smile my thanks before I stand and head for the room to change and get this over with. I wonder what he meant by that? Ignoring his words, I strip out of my shorts and pull the jeans on before slipping my feet back into the Chuck’s Cheryl got for me. Then I head back out into the main room to find Trek. He’s standing with the other guys and lifts his eyes when I approach.
“You ready?”
“I think so,” I reply. I don’t know if I’m ready for this or not. I’m scared to be seen. I’m scared someone will recognize me, and shit will end badly.
“You’ll be fine,” Drake reassures me as I nod my head. I don’t know about all that. I feel like I’m about to throw up as it is. My stomach trembles and I feel sick, but I keep it down and to myself. I don’t tell Trek because I don’t want him to get upset with me.
“Let’s go,” Trek says, nodding toward the door. We walk outside, and I’m hit with sunshine and heat. It’s been days since I’ve come outside. Days since I’ve seen the sun at all.
“You okay?” he asks.
“I’m fine. Just weird being back outside,” I tell him. He nods and passes me a helmet that I slide on. Then he’s there, adjusting the straps for me.
“Remember, they can’t see you. You’re just a girl on the back of a bike,” he tries to reassure me. I nod as he climbs on his bike and offers me his hand. I gladly take it and throw my leg over, climbing on behind him. Wrapping my arms around his waist, he chuckles.
“You’re gonna be fine, Heidi.”
“I’ve never been on a bike.”
“You’re gonna do fine. Just relax and lean with me, babe.” I swallow hard, but I try to relax until he revs the engine. Then I hold on tighter. I can feel him laughing at me, and I smile, knowing he’s okay with this.
He finally takes off after a few minutes, and I loosen up a little. It isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I think I might like this.
We ride down the streets, going around the corners as I look around. Nothing seems familiar. None of it. That is until we pull past a house that sends a chill down my spine.
“That one,” I whisper to myself, tapping him on the stomach. He pulls off to the side down the road before pulling his helmet off. I watch him glance around before looking at me.
“Which one, darlin’?”
“That one,” I point to the house. I think I’ve been there. It looks familiar from this side. If I could see in the back, I’d know for sure.
“You sure?”
“It just seems familiar,” I tell him.
“Good girl,” he says before smiling and sliding his helmet back on. I don’t know why but I like when he says that to me. It makes me feel like I’m worthy of something.
Trek pulls back out onto the street, making a u-turn to pass the front of the house again. I tense as we pull past it, but he quickly takes off. I assume he must have felt the way I clung to him.
Before I know it, we’re on the road and not heading back to the clubhouse. I tense up again, unsure of where he’s going or why.
Thirty minutes later, he pulls over into a parking lot and kills the engine. I climb off first, and as Trek follows, he looks over at me.
“Never brought anyone here.” I don’t know where here is, but I follow along behind him anyway. He climbs the stairs of an apartment complex and stops at the second one. I watch him pull his keys from his pocket before unlocking the door and ushering me inside. I’m hesitant, but I know Trek wouldn’t hurt me, so I walk inside.
“This is your place?”
“I stay at the clubhouse a lot, but when I need a break, I come here.”
“It’s nice.”
“It’s mine. That’s what matters the most. I think we all need some personal space at times,” he explains, setting his keys on the table next to the door. I watch him pull his gun from the back of his jeans and set it there too.
“Do you always carry a gun?”
“Every single day,” he replies as if it’s no big deal. Maybe to him, it isn’t.
“That doesn’t bother you?”