21
ADDIE
The sight of the sun the next morning came as a surprise. It wasn’t that it woke me. I’d gotten up before the sun could and had already finished one cup of tea by the time the first rays peeked over the horizon. The feeling stirring in my chest was one of disbelief.
I ran my finger along the rim of my teacup and watched the leaves swimming in the very bottom as if they could unveil the future for me. I could have died last night, but I was somehow still standing. I was even in one piece. Not a drop of my own blood had been spilled.
The same couldn’t be said for Maddox, who was still sleeping sprawled across his mattress with three out of four limbs hanging off the edges. He deserved the sleep. I’d watched him shift back to human form once we were inside. It’d revealed the deep wounds across his ribs and thighs.
Closing my eyes, I recalled the night before. I remembered how I’d reached for his back with my arcana swirling inside me, unsure if my power would help him heal. Though Maddox fed on it like Potato, he wasn’t actually dead. He needed someone with life arcana, like Cerri.
So, I’d kept my hands to myself and retreated to the spare bedroom even though he’d turned to me. He’d had something he wanted to say, but I’d walked away.
I lifted my head to the sun and welcomed the warm rays. It couldn’t chase away the icy arcana swimming inside me now. Since last night, I’d been filled with a cold that I couldn’t shake. My entire being was encased in the frigid nothingness, and I desperately wanted warmth.
I was afraid of what I’d tapped into. Hel likely knew what this was and what it was capable of, but the old hag refused to tell me anything. She left my own being a mystery, much to my frustration.
How was I supposed to live a full life and be a fully realized person if I didn’t have access to all the tools that I needed? This fumbling nonsense was getting tiring.
“Is it quieter out here?” Maddox asked, appearing behind me.
Startled, I jerked. Tea sloshed out of my cup and plastered Maddox’s chest with leaves.
His chest.
He was half naked.
Though I tried to avert my gaze, I couldn’t look away. The pale breadth of his skin was pocked with scars. Guilt swam in the pit of my stomach, but it couldn’t reach my lust addled brain. I wanted to trace those scars with my fingertips…with my lips even.
Shit. No.
I had to keep my wits about me. Maddox likely belonged to someone else. These thoughts were normal. He was hot as hell. My attraction to him was to be expected. I lifted my gaze to his messy bedhead and dark eyes.
“Quieter?” was all I could manage to say.
He gave a half-nod as he ran a hand through his tangled hair. “I imagine there aren’t as many ghosts out here. I noticed you aren’t wearing hats as much lately.”
My mouth formed an O of understanding. “Ah,that. Well…There aren’t any ghosts anymore. They’re all gone. The veil between the worlds is keeping everyone trapped where they are.”
A thought slammed into the front of my skull and sent my heart racing. “If ghosts can’t enter this world, does that meant people can’t die? Is the natural order of things that messed up? What am I doing here, drinking tea, when I should be doing…something?”
Maddox pulled me to his chest sending my tea cup clattering to the porch. “Stop. You don’t have to do anything.”
While I wanted to revel in his touch, I shoved him away. “That’s not right. If the world is falling apart, then I need to focus on that. Hel showed me the state of things right now. I fell into one of the holes that this wolf is tearing, and it nearly killed me.”
Maddox’s growl filled the air. “I know. I was there.”
A light flared in his eyes. His beast had pushed close to the surface. It pulled on my arcana, stealing my breath in the process. I gasped for air, but Maddox didn’t pull back. At least, he didn’t pull back right away.
I clutched my chest and slapped at Maddox’s with my other hand. He needed to control himself. My lungs burned. I lifted my betrayed gaze up at him only to find the light in his eyes flashing as he struggled for control. His internal fight was going to kill me.
My knees trembled. They threatened to give out beneath me. I had a limited amount of time before I dropped. I had to use it to get away. Maybe if I put some distance between us, the pull wouldn’t be so intense, and I would be able to breathe again.
The sucking sensation dragging my arcana out of me didn’t let up, even after I staggered down the steps and into the lawn. Every step I took left a patch of dead grass. I hadn’t meant to pull on the grass’s life force. It was just…happening.
Finally, I dropped. The grass turned dead and gray all around me while I struggled to draw a breath. Angry, I looked back to Maddox again.
He clutched the porch railing so tight that it’d splintered in his hands. Still, the flashing lights of his internal battle flickered across his downturned face. I grabbed a nearby rock and flung it in his direction. It didn’t hit, but instead fell several feet short because I didn’t have the strength left.