Never before had I been jealous of a straw. The way her lips pursed around the plastic made my core clench in anticipation. My beast stirred at the sight of her. The wolf was all too excited to see her again.
Don’t get used to it. We can’t risk being around her too much.
The wolf gnashed its teeth at me. It refused to heed my warning, which meant that this would be difficult. As it was, the beast and I weren’t on the greatest of terms. More than once, I’d woken in the middle of the mountains with no recollection of how I’d gotten there.
Instead of giving the beast too much thought, I picked up and moved on each time. I wasn’t going to give in to the damn beast’s temper tantrums. Though, I was surprised that I’d never awakened on Addie’s doorstep.
Without her, I was starving. I could feel it. This wasn’t a bodily kind of hunger, yet it left me hollow all the same. My every step echoed with the emptiness that had yawned inside me without her around. It wasn’t that I needed Addie, but my new form needed her arcana. I had been denying myself since she’d forced my hand several weeks ago.
I could still see Bastien’s face crumpling to ash when I closed my eyes. I could feel my paws going through his body as I tackled him to the ground. Bastien would still be alive had it not been for her. Even though my old friend had turned out to be the killer hunting Addie and those like her, I would have liked to have given him over to the court of law.
Taking matters into my own hands didn’t sit well with me. We had laws and trials for a reason. There was no reason that the supernatural should act as judge and jury in these situations. We had other avenues of justice that worked better for everyone.
My anger at Addie helped center me. The flush left my face. I met her teasing stare with my own dead gaze.
“I need to be able to track scents,” I said, deadpan. “That’s easier to do in my wolf form.”
She took the offered collar and leash from me. “Do you really think anyone is going to believe that you’re adog?”
“Tell them I’m some sort of mixed wolf breed.” I gave a half shrug and turned away so I could go shift in a nearby alley.
The cramped space between these old brick buildings left me feeling a bit like a junkie looking for his next fix. I scowled at my surroundings and cursed what I’d become. While the heightened senses and new strength were nice to have, I hated how much more my control had slipped.
First, it’d been alcohol. I’d let it consume my life until everything I’d worked for nearly slipped from my grasp. Now, I had this monster inside me that thought of nothing but that woman and how it hated me for staying away from her.
I stripped out of my clothes and offered the beast a peace treaty for now. Yet, when I reached out to offer a compromise, the beast rushed forward before I could stop it. I barely got through the boundaries of our treaty before my paws hit the ground.
The beast bounded out of the alley while I was left reeling inside my own body. I scrambled to regain control of myself while Addie knelt and put the collar around the happy beast’s neck. A part of me was worried about how much my beast liked the collar. It seemed to mean something to the beast that I was afraid to acknowledge.
Finally, I had control of myself again, as if the collar had appeased the beast for now, and it saw fit to let me be the pilot for now.
I had half a mind to run off and tear the beast away from Addie before it got too attached to her. We couldn’t risk letting her have complete control. Her arcana gave her power over me unlike anyone else I’d ever known. When she used that arcana against me, it violated my autonomy.
No one was allowed to have that kind of power over anyone.