CHAPTER SIX
Roger
If being a Daddy is a balancing act between sweet and stern, between serious and fun, between playful and powerful; it feels to me like Chrissy brings out the best in me. Nine months into the relationship, I feel like there is absolutely nothing I want more than for her to be my forever little girl.
It isn’t always easy for her.
It isn’t always easy for me.
Like anyone, she loves the fun stuff. She loves the play. I mean that not only in terms of getting to play with stuffed animals, go on playdates and coloring parties. I also mean the age play between the two of us, when she can act like a little girl and I can treat her like one. She loves that.
She doesn’t like the more serious stuff.
Who would?
She doesn’t like it but she tells me time and time again she understands the need for it. She understands the importance and she also feels like some of the things we’ve been working on has really benefited her. She feels more confident than ever before in her life. She feels excited about work, too, and she tells me she’s working hard to be great for her customers and it’s not just about getting good tips. She likes being good at it.
She doesn’t beat herself up as much as she used to.
In short, I’m having a positive impact on her life.
But it’s a balancing act. All of the self-improvement stuff is what I love most about being a Daddy but when dealing with a little girl who has things pretty much together from the start, it can be easy to make her feel like she’s not good enough and has to change. I hope I don’t make her feel that way but it’s something any Daddy must watch out for.
The irony of the situation isn’t lost on me, the fact that she made it very clear if the more serious aspects of the relationship weren’t in place, the relationship would be temporary rather than something the two of us actually work on. The bottom line is she wants all of the benefits of a real twenty-four hours per day Daddy and little girl dynamic. She wants it but perhaps she didn’t understand the benefits of that relationship come from work.
A whole hell of a lot of work.
That’s the nature of a relationship that requires constant communication and evaluation. Without that communication and without regularly checking in and analyzing our success or failure, there is a great deal of risk. All relationships are an exchange of power. A person has the power to decide what to have for dinner. In a relationship, another person also has a say. When there is a difference of opinion, the process of deciding is almost always one person giving up their power in favor of another. That’s just a tiny example.
A BDSM relationship is a structured power exchange. One party, the submissive, hands a great deal of power over to the other party, the Dominant. Communication and constant checks are necessary to ensure nobody gets hurt or diminished in that process. Ultimately, the Dominant’s role is to make the submissive happy, healthy, joyous and free (as contradictory as free might seem.) That means rules and a focus on the way the relationship operates and develops.
That focus is the thing Chrissy likes least about things.
But she realizes how important it is and she’s willing to put up with it for the sake of everything the relationship brings to her. The emotional rush of her promotion is no longer driving her feelings about that aspect of the relationship. She thinks of it as something she does because of all the great things the relationship gives her, like a trade-off. The idea that the discipline and guidance gives her great things isn’t front of mind like right after she became head server.
“What the hell are you doing?” Timothy asks, startling me. I almost knock my coffee off my desk.
“Asshole,” I say with a laugh. “Don’t you ever knock?”
“Your door is open,” he replies. “You were completely zoned out there. I stood in the doorway for like a minute. I think you probably need a week at the asylum. You’re crazy.”
“My goodness, Tim,” I say in mock seriousness, “Crazy is not appropriate. It’s mentally ill.”
He chuckles and says, “Lunch? I’m buying?”
“Really? What’s the occasion?” I lift up my hands, “And what are doing at my office in the first place?”
“Asking you to lunch.” He smiles, “I have a buddy coming. Gray. I mean, Grayson. He’s a buddy from the service. Anyway, I’m remodeling the house and I want to talk about you putting him up for a few weeks. I’ve already changed the contractor’s schedule to get the rooms done ahead of the rest of the house.”
I shrug. “It’ll be good for you to owe me one. I mean, like if a professionally trained assassin with the backing of nine different governments is sent to kill me.”
He rolls his eyes. He’s not allowed to tell me most of his history in the military but from what I know, there’s a whole lot of the kind of thing you might see in spy movies, very violent spy movies. “So is that a yes?” he asks.
“I’m happy to help you out,” I say, “But I’ll need to check with my little girl before I say yes.”
“She’s moved in now?” I nod and he says, “Brittney loves that girl. She says Chrissy is very smart. He says, “Between you and me and the door post, she’s given Brittney tips I’m really happy with. Evidently, your little girl is always researching how to be a better little girl.” He smiles, “and researching physical things, too.”
I nod. “More like how to be a better submissive. She takes what she learns and applies it to being a little girl.”