CHAPTER NINE
Roger
“Are you my little girl?” I ask sharply.
I don’t know if it’s the tone of my voice or if the substance of the question itself shocks her but Chrissy stops her gesturing and stares at me, jaw dropped and eyes wide. She looks almost like she can’t breathe.
“I asked you a question,” I say sternly.
She swallows hard. “Yes, Daddy,” she says.
“Did you give me permission to hold you accountable for your behavior?” I ask that question just as sharply, and again, it seems to make her breathless. After a few seconds, I say, “That question needs an answer, too, little girl.”
Again, the sternness in my voice affects her. She breathes in sharply, gulps again and says, “Yes, Daddy.”
“And do you still agree that I can hold you accountable for your behavior?” That question also comes out sharply and her reaction is even more profound than the first two. I actually worry there will be hyperventilation in a moment.
I want her to work through the implications of this question so I don’t press her for an answer like I did with the first two questions. I need her to be one hundred percent sure and I won’t make her answer quickly. I see her try to answer a few times but not come up with the breath for it. Finally, she closes her eyes and takes two deep breaths.
When she opens her eyes she says, “Yes, Daddy. I’m still submitting to your authority with that.”
I nod. “Good girl.”
She presses her lips together and manages to whisper, “Thank you, Daddy.”
I look at her and say, “Today, holding you accountable for your actions means a spanking. I don’t mean a fun spanking. I don’t mean a little age play joking spanking. I mean a real spanking. Are you sure you want to submit to my authority?”
On one level, it almost seems like she is going to faint. On the other hand, I can see in her eyes something that surprises me. At first, I think it’s arousal but then I realize it isn’t that. She’s just… glad. I don’t know if glad is the right term but I know right then and there that she is comforted by the idea that I’m holding her accountable in such a visceral way. She still takes a moment to answer, and I think that she’s just afraid of the pain the spanking with bring.
She says softly, “I threw the tantrum and it was bad behavior. It was childish and not childish in the way I love. It was shameful, Daddy. Yes. I am your little girl and I am still submitting to your authority to hold me accountable…” She closes her eyes for a moment and when she opens them adds “… for my behavior.”
“Little girl,” I say, “I appreciate you being careful with the words to make sure you know exactly what you’re agreeing to and that it’s clear for me. This spanking will hurt, though. I mean, you won’t get hurt but you will feel pain. I need you to tell me in your own words why you deserve it?”
She sighs and says, “Daddy, I was selfish and behaved like a brat. I didn’t listen and I wouldn’t stop yelling and screaming. I just wanted to lash out and win an argument. I felt stupid for buying the plane tickets. I felt disoriented because I ran into you.” She lets out a heavy breath.
“And you tried to get me to stop and think but I was enjoying my emotions too much. I was… well, it was more important for me to win and to make sure you knew I won. That’s not good behavior for anyone. It’s horrible in a relationship where you hurt someone you love. It’s also especially terrible that I did it because me respecting you is the key to you helping me.”
She looks at me and says firmly, “I not only submit to your authority correcting my behavior but respectfully request that you spank me in a way commensurate to the way I behaved.”
I’m impressed enough with what she says that I have to pause in my mind just to insure I maintain a properly serious expression. “Do you know what a safe word is?”
Her eyes grow wide with fear but I also see a glint of what might be arousal but I think is more of the same expression of something like comfort in the relationship. “Yes, Daddy,” she says. “From all my research. Is our safe word going to be red? A lot of people use that.”
“Red like a stop light.”
“Yes, Sir.” I love the appellation Daddy but Sir is nice when she sprinkles it in as well.
“That works. I need to trust you little girl. This spanking should be unpleasant and it should cause you pain but it shouldn’t hurt you. It shouldn’t damage you physically nor emotionally. So, I have to trust you to use the safe word if either of those things might happen. Can I trust you.”
She nods firmly. “It would hurt our relationship if either of those things happened Daddy and I won’t let that happen. The whole reason I’m getting this spanking is because I did something hurtful that could have damaged our relationship.”
“All right, little girl,” I say. “I trust you.”
She says, “Thank you for trusting me, Daddy. Do you want me naked or just from the waist down?”
My answer is naked but I don’t say it. Instead, I ask, “What is your opinion of what’s best?”
She says, “Obeying you is what’s best in this instance, Daddy.” I raise an eyebrow and she says, “but if it’s from the waist down, it objectifies me. Part of the punishment is me being denied a level of intimacy with you. It’s even more if my pants are only down to my knees or something. It means the only focus is on the spanking. It will make the punishment feel a lot… I don’t know the word. Sharper.”
I know she gets all that from a blog post or something. I’m about to ask if that is what she wants but she continues.
“So just from the waist down heightens the punishment, Daddy. If I’m completely naked, though, I’m completely vulnerable so that heightens the submission. In my mind, since what I did was direct refusal to submit to you, the vulnerability is more important than anything else.”
And that’s what you want?
She tries to keep a serious face but she can’t help but smile and say, “I don’t want either one, Daddy.” She lets out a breath and gets serious again. “But I guess if I were the Dom and my sub did what I did, I would want all the clothes off.”
Ten minutes later, spanking over but tears still flowing down her face as I hold her, I wonder if she will ever stop researching what it means to be submissive and to have a relationship like ours.
I hope not.