“How long until I can go home?” I ask, lighting my smoke.
They both laugh and I look between them. “Sorry,” Harper says, resting her hand on mine. “Once you’re here you just end up staying.”
“What if I don’t want to be here?”
Harper looks at Ivy who laughs. “Well, you could fight your feelings for months, finally give in and get pregnant.” She shakes her head and her eyes soften. “When I was literally dragged here, I fought. I didn’t trust anyone here and I wanted my life back. But I fell in love with Kace and even when I tried to leave it was meant for me to be here. It’s overwhelming, but if you stop fighting against it, you’ll wonder what the hell you ever did before being a part of this.”
Harper turns a bit in her seat and searches my face. “I know a lot of shit went down with you and Riley, but do you want to be with him? Because if you don’t, make it clear. He’s desperately in love with you and if you’re gonna break him, tell him now. He’ll protect you until this mess is over because he loves you, but you need to tell him.”
Great, they are all against me. I’m being judged and talked about. I shake my head as I put out my cigarette. “I love Riley, but I don’t know if I can ever forgive him. I want to be with him, but I don’t know if I can.”
There’s your truth.
“There aren’t many guys out there like Riley. I’ve known him most of my life and yeah he reacts before he thinks,” Harper says.
“He makes ridiculous jokes and thinks it's funny when he makes you uncomfortable,” Ivy says, laughing.
Harper laughs as she nods, agreeing. “But he’s one of the best guys I know. Forgiveness isn’t easy, but he didn’t kill Rachel. He’s not responsible.”
“He could’ve told me, but instead he listened to me cry and let Damon take the blame,” I huff out.
“It’s club business,” Ivy says.
“But you both knew, right?”
Ivy looks at Harper, but she keeps her eyes on me. “Yes, we knew.”
“I don’t do good with secrets and that’s what keeps causing all the problems. Keeping the fact that this club is responsible for Rachel’s death a secret. Keeping the agent a secret and now we’re all in danger. How am I supposed to just ignore all that?” I ask.
“All Riley tried to do was protect you. Protect you from the pain of how your sister died. Protect you from that agent. He had good intentions,” Harper says.
“I know you guys love Riley, but I’m in love with him. I’m twenty years younger than he is. I need to make sure I’m doing the right thing. I get you’re loyal to him and I’m the outsider, but I have no one left. My friends are gone, my family is dead. I process things on my own because I have no choice. So while I appreciate you defending him, please understand it’s not easy for me. I’m scared, I’m alone, and I’m confused,” I say, tightening my hands on my mug.
“Talk to us,” Ivy says.
I lift my eyes to her and my brows dip. “What?”
She shrugs her shoulders and leans back in her chair. “You need friends, we’re your friends.” I lift one of my eyebrows and tilt my head. “Okay, we can be your friends. We hung out a bunch of times before you and Riley broke up. We aren’t strangers. If you need advice about being with Riley or being a part of this club, we’re your girls.”
“She’s right. No one understands better than we do. There’s nothing you are thinking or feeling that we didn’t. So, talk to us,” Harper says.
I don’t know what to do. It would be great to get advice from people who really understand. They’re a part of this club. They know Riley. They’ve experienced their own battles. But I don’t know them well. I want them to say one thing and if they say something else I’m not sure how I will feel.
I bite my cheek as I look around. I’m stuck in this place and it’s every bit as intimidating as it is intriguing. The members have all been nice to me, but will it be different now? I’ve brought all this on. It was my carelessness of hacking into federal sites that has brought Agent McKay here. He needed a way in and I opened the window for him. I never would have hacked those sites if I knew any of this would happen. I hope they can forgive me.
I sit up straight realizing what I just thought. How can I expect them to forgive me for bringing this on if I can't forgive Riley for just being a part of what happened to Rachel?
“You alright?” Harper asks.
I snap my head to her and nod. “Do you know when Riley will be back?”
She smiles and nods. “He just walked in.”
I spin around and see him talking to Finn. I glance back at Ivy and Harper, smiling. “Thanks for the coffee and talking, but I need to talk to Riley right now.”
“Yes, you do,” Harper says with a wink.
When I stand up, Riley’s eyes connect with mine and my heart pounds in my chest. He slaps Finn’s shoulder without taking his eyes off me. He starts walking toward me and I can’t wait so I meet him halfway.