“Yeah, no shit.”
We walk out into the main area of the club and it looks so different when it’s not packed with people. I’ve only been here when there was a party or when the strip club was open. It looks so much bigger and open. The stage is dark and empty, the bar is closed, and there are only a few tables being used.
“How do you like your coffee?” she asks.
“Just milk.”
“Okay, go sit with Ivy and I’ll grab you some.”
I do as she says and sit down at the table with Ivy. I smile at her and she returns it with her tired eyes.
“Where’s the baby?” I ask.
She takes a sip of her coffee and grins. “Sleeping with his father.”
The love for her son and boyfriend shine in her eyes. It’s nice to see something positive since the negative seems to have taken over my life.
“He’s gotten so big,” I say.
She nods, fixing her ponytail. “He might not sleep well, but he’s such a good boy otherwise. He’s babbling now and hearing his little voice makes my heart stop.”
“I can only imagine,” I say.
I look around to see if anyone is smoking and when I notice they aren’t I stand up. “I’ll be right back.”
I start to walk toward the door, but before I can reach it I feel a large hand on my shoulder. I spin around and almost smack into Finn’s solid body.
“Where are you going?” he asks, glancing from me to the door.
“Oh, I wanted a cigarette, but I didn’t want to smoke in here since no one else is,” I say, feeling stupid.
He smiles and it’s impossible not to return it. “You can smoke in here.”
“Oh,” I say.
“You can’t go outside. We need to keep you safe in here. If you want to smoke, you can smoke. Everyone does,” he says. I look around and he chuckles. “They aren’t here smoking right now, but they will be. Harper and Ivy are used to it. Go sit down and I’ll get you an ashtray.”
I focus on the floor as I walk back to the table. I can’t even go outside for a cigarette? Riley isn’t even here.
I sit down at the table and Ivy smiles at me. “You can smoke here. I miss smoking.”
As she says it Finn puts an ashtray down and Harper comes over with my coffee. I feel like I’m at a restaurant but trapped inside and not allowed to see the sunlight.
“So, I can’t go outside the door, but Riley can leave?” I ask, looking between Ivy and Harper.
They share a look before focusing on me. I know Ivy has been through hell, I was here for that. I’m not sure what Harper has been through, but Riley did say she’s been in this life since she was born. That look they just shared tells me they know something I don’t though.
“These guys are overprotective, but usually it’s for g
ood reason,” Harper says.
I think about what Riley said last night that it was club business and I can’t know anything. I turn to Harper and sigh. “We can’t know club business, so what do we do? Just sit here in the dark and hope it works out?”
“Pretty much,” Ivy says.
Harper laughs, shaking her head. “Shut the hell up, Ivy. It’s not like that at all. We know the important things, we just aren’t privy to know what they discuss around the table.”
I nod, still not understanding and sip my coffee. This is all so foreign to me. Being with Riley was so easy before. When he was dealing with the Raging Devils, I didn’t really care. It didn’t affect me in any way, well none I knew of. It did cost me my sister, but Riley did his thing and came back to me. I wasn’t involved. I wasn’t fearing for my life. Now I feel like I’m in the middle and I barely know the people I’m surrounded by.