I scrub my face, running my hands up into my hair. I look up at the sky and scream. My voice echoes around us, but I keep going. I let all my frustration, fear, and guilt take over.
Without taking my eyes off the sky I ask Alex, “Why’d you come?”
“I’ve known you for a long time, Kace. I’ve seen you happy. I’ve seen you sad and I’ve seen you pissed, wild, demanding, strong. I’ve seen you take control, loss control, and keep everyone around you grounded. But I’ve never seen you scared, until now.”
I glance at him and nod. “I’ve never been scared like this before. I pulled her into a fucking war. She’s not Harper. She doesn’t know or understand this life. She’s hurt and it physically hurts me that she is. I can’t begin to imagine how scared she is. I need to find her, Alex. I need to save her and my baby. Please fucking help me.”
The pity I see in his eyes is warranted. I just showed him a side of me I keep hidden. My vulnerable side.
My phone rings again for the hundredth time and I grab it out of my front pocket. “What!”
“We got something. Get back to Souls now, asshole,” Zane hisses.
I hang up and nod to Alex. “They got something, lets get back.”
We get back to Souls in record time and when we get around the table, I stop short when I see Gillian sitting there. “What the fuck.”
“Shut the fuck up and listen,” Zane says, pulling out my chair.
I play with my lip ring as I sit down. “Fucking talk, we’re wasting time.”
“When Riley asked me to help find Ivy, I grabbed my laptop and started looking,” Gillian starts.
“Woah, why the hell is she telling me this? She’s part of this fucking club now?” I say, looking around.
She rolls her eyes, but continues, “When he told me to look for anywhere that the Raging Devils could be, specifically Damon, I was frozen.” She glances at Riley who nods his head. What the fuck? She clears her throat and locks her sincere eyes with mine. “Damon is Rachel’s boyfriend.”
“What.The.Fuck,” I yell.
“I had no idea he was out to get you, but if Rachel knew I’m sure she helped. She’s still pissed at you,” Gillian says.
“Pissed at me? For what getting shot? She the one who fucking walked when I needed someone. She’s an untrustworthy cunt,” I growl.
“Shut the fuck up and let her finish,” Zane says, grabbing my arm.
I shrug him off and look at Gillian, raising my eyebrow for her to continue. “I called Rachel and we tracked the call. It’s the rundown, abandoned, crack houses just outside town.”
I turn to Enzo when he clears his throat. “We’ll make a plan and go at first light. We go as a club. We get Ivy, kill Damon and Casper. You are not fucking going alone. This is a club decision and I will take a motherfucking vote if you make me.”
Fucking unreal. “Fine, we go at first light,” I lie.
Alex looks at me and he knows. “How about I follow you home? You can shower and we’ll have a few beers.”
“I’ll come too,” Zane says, standing up.
“I don’t need fucking babysitters.”
“No one said you did. You were there for me with Harper. I’ll be there for you now.”
Fuck. “Fine.”
Enzo nods and stands up. “I’m going back to the hospital. Brooks made it through surgery and is resting. We’ll meet back here around four and head out.”
We all agree and walk out the door. Zane puts his arm out stopping me from following everyone else. “I’m not a fucking idiot.”
“No one said you were.”
He moves in front of me and his angry blue eyes search mine. “I need you alive, asshole. I know you feel responsible. I know the fucking anger and guilt are eating you alive. I know your heart is bleeding in your chest. But you’re my best fucking friend. I can’t fucking lose you. Let’s go to your place, have a few beers, and it’ll be time to go before you know it. We go as one.”