“No there aren’t, not for me,” I whisper, tears dripping down my cheeks.
She moves to sit on the couch with me and takes the tea from my hand. “So, I guess we need to consider if you want a girl or a boy,” she says, laughing.
“I can’t even think about that right now,” I say, wiping my eyes. “It’s his.”
“I know that, but it’s also yours and bringing a baby into this world is an exciting time. You can’t focus on the bad, you need to stay positive and get excited. You’re gonna be a mom,” she yells excitedly.
A small giggle makes it way out as I watch her excitement. “He’s not a bad guy, he’s part of a motorcycle club and it’s kinda scary,” I admit.
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“No shit, I never would’ve pegged you for a girl that would be into a guy like that,” she says in wonder.
“Hey, what the hell does that mean?”
She holds up her hands, shaking her head. “No offense, Ivy. I just picture you with a lawyer or cop, someone like that.”
“He’s not gonna want this,” I whisper.
“He doesn’t need to. I’ll help you. We’ll eventually need to find you a new apartment because this is only one bedroom and we can shop for the baby and I’ll go to your doctor appointments with you.” She smiles, fixing her ponytail. “We’ll make it work.”
“We’re hardly friends, why would you offer to do all that?” It’s very nice of her, but I can’t ask her to change her life for me. She’s living a completely different life than I am. She’s always going out, always up for a good time, always with her boyfriend. As it should be. It’s so sweet of her to offer, but once the shock is gone, she’ll want to run, and I don’t blame her. This has nothing to do with her.
“We’re friends and as your friend, I’ll be honest and tell you I had a friend that did the same for me. She didn’t need to, but she had a friend do it for her. It’s my way of keeping it going,” she explains.
“I don’t want to tell him, he’s gonna be so pissed,” I whisper. My head is all over and I keep changing the subject on her, but I can’t help it. I’m scared.
“You have to tell him, Ivy. He might be pissed, but he still has a right to know,” she says.
I know she’s right, but I don’t want to think about that. He didn’t want a relationship, he’s not gonna want a family. My head snaps up to hers as my eyes widen. “What if he thinks I did this on purpose? What if he thinks I’m trying to trap him?”
“All you can do is be honest with him. If he’s dumb enough to think that, you’re better off not being in his life.”
“I’m gonna need to fly home for a few days. I need to talk to my best friend, but I need to do it in person,” I say.
“When you’re ready, I’ll help you book the flight,” she says. “But if he’s dangerous, maybe you should have someone with you when you talk to him.”
Anger like I’ve never felt wraps around me, and I quickly stand up. “I never said he was dangerous. I said he wasn’t a good guy, which wasn’t all that true,” I yell.
“Okay, I’m sorry,” she says, fixing her crop top as she stands.
“It’s not that he can’t be sweet and funny, it’s the club. I mean the guys are all nice and they really do all love each other and they accepted me, but it’s what happens that doesn’t involve me,” I ramble.
“Do they kill people?” she asks, horrified.
“No, of course not,” I lie. The sudden need to protect them all is overwhelming. I’m making them out to be horrible guys, but it’s not entirely true. The killings and violence is what scares me. The guys aren’t bad.
“Damn, okay good,” she breathes out. “I’m not gonna tell you what to do or rush you into any decisions. I personally think you should tell him and get right back here, but that’s just me. Does your friend know about him?”
I laugh as I sit back down. “She’s married into the club. Her husband and Kace, the baby’s dad, are best friends.” I stop and look down. The baby’s dad. Holy shit.
“So, you were completely different in Vegas,” she says, running her eyes over me.
I lift one shoulder and glance at her blue eyes, full of curiosity. “Not completely different, but I went through a lot and decided I needed a life change. I got that coming here and now I’m gonna need to go back and it all scares me. Not just to tell him, but to go back to where I’m from. I’m scared it’s gonna suck me back in.”
“Do you want me to come?” she offers.
I smile, shaking my head. “That’s very nice, but no, I need to do this alone.”