feel better?”
He dragged a hand ruefully through his hair. “I’ve never felt worse, actually.”
She nodded, and looked away. Her profile was set as she stared determinedly at one of his bookshelves. “Why?”
“You know why,” he said quietly.
“I need you to tell me.”
He cursed inwardly. “I’d committed to a path of action that was all wrong. But I’d committed to it. And I didn’t realise I could back out. So I did it. I did it even when I could see how I was hurting you. And there was no satisfaction. There was no feeling of victory. It was a hollow moment.”
She bit down on her lip. “Would you do it again?”
“Tell William about us?” He moved to kneel before her, needing her to look at him. To connect with him and understand the truth of what he was saying. “No. I would never make that mistake again.”
She was on a tightrope. One misstep and she would fall.
“Baby, I love you as much now as I ever did. No, that’s a lie. I love you so much more. This month without you has shown me how absolutely empty my life is without you in it. I have been barely existing without you and Ellie. I have stayed away because you asked me to, but now that I’ve seen you again, I don’t know if I can do it any longer.”
Her eyes flew to his, and then skidded away just as quickly. She stood uneasily and walked across to the window. She looked out, her arms crossed.
Hendrix stood, and followed her. He could handle the suspense no longer. “Why did you come here?”
Why indeed? To throw herself under a bus? To toss caution to the wind and see what happened?
“The thing is,” she spoke without looking at him. “I know I was right to end things between us. I still don’t know if I can forgive you for what you did. But I’ve had time to think about grief. And the anger you have carried since your sister died. And I don’t know if it’s as black and white as I believed then.”
Hope! Oh, the hope! It was both glorious and an agony. Because still, nothing was certain. He said nothing. Nothing that might derail her gentle musings.
“In any event, I just needed to see you.” Her lips were a weak imitation of a smile.
“Chloe,” he groaned, wrapping her in his arms and holding her tight. She smelled so good. Like vanilla and sugar. He crushed her against him, running his hands through her hair. “Please don’t disappear yet.”
She wasn’t disappearing. She was holding him tight. “I’m not. Not yet.” She looked up at him, and then stepped backwards. “I came here today to ask you to dinner.”
“Dinner?” He scanned her face, not sure what was going on. “Tonight?”
She nodded.
“Yes.” His smile was enormous. “Yes, of course. Yes.”
She let out a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding. “Okay, good. I’m probably being stupid, but I’ve been thinking about what I want to do, and even though it makes no sense, this is all I could think of. Seeing you.”
“What do you mean?”
Her voice was shy and so quiet he had to lean forward to hear her. “I’m still so angry with you, but I’ve missed you like a lost limb.” She straightened her spine. “I can’t think about forgiving you. Or the future. I just know that I want to give myself one night with you. One night to pretend none of that happened. I know it’s cheating, but I need it.”
It was not perfect, but it was something. “But why now?” He couldn’t help asking. “It’s been a very long month. What’s happened?”
She pulled a face. “Don’t laugh.”
“Never,” he swore, his eyes heavy on her face.
“It’s my birthday. And you’re my present. From me to me.”
Hendrix let the words sink in for precisely twelve seconds. Then, without taking his eyes off her face, picked his phone up. “Cancel my day,” he barked at Maria, disconnecting before she could respond. He had a vague recollection of an important meeting that afternoon. But nothing was more important than this.
“Then let’s go.”