She looked at the food and shook her head. “I can’t.”
He picked up a bagel and passed it to her. “Eat this.”
She scowled at him, but took the bread. She pinched a piece loose and lifted it to her lips. She was hungry, she realised. She hadn’t eaten the night before, so that made sense.
She finished more than half of it, then placed it onto the tray. “I should go.”
She swung her legs gingerly over the side of the bed, and slid her feet to the carpet.
“No, Olivia. Sit back down.”
She turned slowly, to face him. “Why are you here?” It came out as a plea. A sad, desperate plea for answers.
“Because you didn’t respond to my email, and I know you miss me.”
She straightened her shoulders, and forced herself to meet his eyes. “Why would you say that?”
His smile was wistful. “Because I miss you.” He walked around the bed, so that he was standing right in front of her. “Every moment, since you left Talidar, I have missed you, and I have longed for you.”
She opened her mouth in surprise. But it all came crashing back to her. She shook her head. “You miss Marni.”
He bit back the urge to snap. Just. “Marni was not important to me, Olivia. You must understand. When we were dating, I was young. I had just become Sultan. I liked her company…”
“A euphemism for sex?” Olivia interrupted angrily.
He nodded. “Yes. It was just sex between us.”
“Like it was between us.”
“No,” he responded emphatically. “Stop comparing yourself to her. Marni knew we were just sex. She might have hoped for more, but that was not because I encouraged her.” He sucked in a breath, and released it slowly. “But I do carry a burden of guilt over my treatment of her. I do regret what happened.”
“Do you?”
“Of course.” He reached down and laced his fingers through hers. “Marni was depressed, Olivia. I only realised it with hindsight, but I should have noticed sooner. At the time, I was too wrapped up in myself to care.”
“Then you met me, and you thought you could undo the past,” Olivia prompted angrily, ripping her hand free. “That’s not fair on me, Tamir. In the same way you weren’t fair to Marni.”
He groaned softly. “I know that. I know I haven’t been fair to you. But that’s not because I wanted to replace Marni. It’s because I saw you and I lost my mind.”
Olivia shook her head from side to side. “I can’t deal with this, Tamir. We’re over. This post-mortem isn’t helping.”
“I don’t want this to be a post-mortem.”
“No?” She yelled, lancing him with her angry stare. “What do you want it to be?”
“A prelude,” he responded seriously, putting his hands on her hips, and holding her in front of him.
“A prelude to what?” She was angry and she was tired and she was hungover as hell.
“To the rest of our lives,” he said, as though it were the simplest thing in the world. He wrapped his hands around her back, holding her to the hard planes of his body.
“No,” she shook her head. “I’ve already told you. I can’t do it. I won’t live in a loveless marriage. I can’t.”
Tamir felt the bitter swell of defeat, but he couldn’t heed it. Not yet. “You do not love me now, but over time, you might learn to. I believe I can make you happy, Azeezi, if you give me the chance.”
“You’re wrong,” she muttered. “You’re misunderstanding me.”
“How so?”