Even her friendships were conducted in those stifling conditions. Conversations were polite and considered, always appropriately skirting around the edges of true feelings.
A sense of suffocation surrounded her as she thought now of the life she’d fled only the night before.
Relationships in that life had been impossible. Only marriage to a suitable man would have allowed her to explore these feelings that were burning deep inside of her.
Except out here.
With Will, in this cabin, they were totally alone.
There would be no one who could observe their behavior. No one who would report it. No servants to speculate or disapprove, no assistants to counsel her to be careful.
She could be with Will, she realized triumphantly. For the short time they were here in the woods, she could forget the strictures of her palace life and simply be a woman who wanted a man.
Her cheeks flushed as she imagined what it would be like to sleep with him. Could she do that? Would she do it? Would she go so far, knowing that it could only ever be a physical connection in this remote landscape?
And would he ever go along with it?
He was a principled man, and he had been entrusted with her protection by Ki.
Would he refuse to listen to the desire that threatened to engulf them, simply because he felt a loyalty to a faraway King? And why didn’t she feel that same sense of loyalty?
Because it shouldn’t matter.
Because she should be able to like whomever she wished to like. And she did like Will. No, that was far too lukewarm a description for what she felt for him.
She needed, in the blood-curdling sense of the word, to feel more of his kisses. To be in his arms. To be under his body. It was no insipid fancy that had simply occurred to her. It was a biological instinct as strong as she’d ever felt. As strong as a need to breathe or a toddler’s inclination to take their first unsteady steps.
Something was inciting her to pursue him and she knew herself well enough to know that she wouldn’t be strong enough to resist it. She had curbed so many of her own desires over the years.
Not this time.
Not now; and not with Will.
Not when they were alone in the woods and they could do whatever they wished without anyone ever having to know.
Lilah sipped her tea thoughtfully. She would need to be subtle. She would need to entice him gently; to make it impossible for Will to resist her.
And though she had no experience with men, she understood Will innately. Getting under his skin would be easy.
It would have to be brief. A fling that would end just as soon as they left this beautiful haven.
This safe-haven.
“I imagine you’re used to five-star dining at every meal.”
She nodded distractedly.
“Michelin chefs at your beck and call?”
Her eyes lifted from the murky brown of her tea and clashed straight into his. She saw Will swallow and then turn his focus back to the fish. His hands moved deftly over the scales, then with the knife as he slid it easily along their spines.
“Well,” his voice was sheened with a forced attempt at complacency. “These won’t be what you’re used to, but they’ll be better than soup.”
Lilah wondered at what point she should tell him that she didn’t routinely eat fish. Something about the texture and scent was always off-putting, and her chefs had long ago learned not to prepare it.
“They’ll be great.” She lifted her eyes to the canopy. “Where shall we put the bird’s nest?”
He laughed. “You were serious about that?”