She turned to him then, her beautiful eyes showing sympathy—a sympathy he had no right to.
‘I spent seven years consciously forgetting you, and I mean that literally—it was a conscious effort I made every damned day, not to think of you. Because you were all I wanted to think about, Annie. You’re the only person I’ve ever met who’s had this kind of hold over me and now I finally understand why.’
She mouthed the word, ‘Why?’ but no sound emerged.
‘I love you,’ he said simply. ‘I have loved you since before I even met you, but that day you became a part of my soul. I don’t know why, but there is something in you that answers everything in me, and I have fought that harder than I ever want to fight anything again.’
A juddering sound escaped her lips. ‘I’m not going to take Max away from you, if that’s what you’re worried about,’ she said quietly. ‘I’m not going to ask you for a divorce. I meant what I said the other day. I’m committed to our marriage, because of Max—’
‘This isn’t for Max,’ he interrupted, brushing his thumb over her lower lip. ‘I could have moved to Sydney, set up across town from you, shared custody of him. This was never just about Max. It’s been about my family—the woman I love and the child that love made. It’s about us being together because that’s how we belong. It’s about you getting every happily-ever-after you deserve, just like Lewis said. This isn’t guilt speaking, Annie, it’s hope. Hope that you can forgive me, eventually, for the pain I put you through, for my useless foolishness when it came to you. It’s hope, a hope that I probably don’t have any right to hold, that you can let yourself love me without fear, without pain.’
She stared at him and every second that passed was like a weight being added to his chest.
‘I always play to win. You probably know that about me. I told myself I married you for Max. All along I’ve told myself this is for Max—but these last few days have shown me what a lie that was. Because Max is right here in my home, exactly where I wanted him, but with you being miserable and pulling away from me I can’t be happy. I don’t just want Max, I want you too, Annie. You’re both a part of me.’
She stared at him, tears moistening her lovely eyes, the thick lashes clumping at the base.
‘I love you,’ he said simply, urgently. ‘With all that I am. Not because of Max, not because of Lewis, but because of you, Annabelle Papandreo.’
She made a strangled noise and shook her head, and a part of him threatened to break. He needed to do more, to say more. How could he make this any clearer?
‘You called this a gilded cage the other day. Well, yes. It is. I gilded it for you, because I wanted you to have everything imaginable. Because I love you. Every gift was chosen by me for your happiness. I wanted to give you everything because I was too scared to give you my heart—and I see now that’s the one single thing you’ve ever wanted, the one thing that would have shown you how much you mean to me. Now the thing I’m most afraid of is that you won’t believe me, or you won’t trust me not to hurt you again. The gilded cage isn’t our marriage, it’s the idea of living a life without you in it.’
‘Dimitrios—’
‘You don’t have to answer tonight. We’ve both waited seven years for me to stop being so obtuse. I can wait a bit longer. Just—think about what you want. And know how I feel about you.’
She closed her eyes; he hated that. He wanted to see her thoughts, to understand her emotions. But when she opened them again, she was smiling and shaking her head. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’ She repeated the words he’d once said to her, and his heart leaped.
‘What does that mean?’
She laughed softly, tilting her head back. ‘I love you,’ she said with a lift of her shoulders. ‘And it sounds like you love me too—a lot—and so, to my mind, that’s kind of a Christmas miracle.’
He looked towards the tree, a grin breaking out on his face as he relaxed for the first time in a long time.
‘Everything has been so perfect, Annie. None of this was pretend. It was perfect because it was real.’
‘Yes,’ she agreed, leaning forward and brushing her lips to his. ‘And it always will be.’
‘Yes,’ he promised, kissing her right back. ‘You will live happily-ever-after. I promise you that now, with all that I am.’
‘I believe you.’
‘I was just thinking how perfect this has been.’ Annie smiled as Dimitrios walked into the room. Christmas day was drawing to a close, and it had been the most blissful day of Annie’s life. Max had loved his gifts, and Annie had adored her picture frame—with a photo of Max and her inside it—and the pudding they’d made had been the icing on the cake, a delicious tradition to take forward into all their future Christmases.
When she’d whispered to Dimitrios that she hadn’t got anything for him, his eyes had glowed and he’d leaned forward and whispered in her ear, ‘You are all the gift I require, Mrs Papandreo.’
But Dimitrios had a look on his face now that had her sitting a little straighter and placing her eggnog on the end table. ‘What’s the matter?’
‘Nothing, I think.’ A frown etched its way across his face. ‘I just had the strangest conversation with Zach. He’s coming over soon.’
‘Here?’ She glanced at her wristwatch. ‘It’s eleven o’clock.’
Dimitrios laughed. ‘For Zach, that’s when the night begins.’
‘Of course,’ she agreed. ‘Well, it will be nice to see him, anyway.’