“Why? Were there problems?”
Darkness engulfed her momentarily. Ava took three deep breaths to stave off her anxiety and grief. That time in her life had been darker than dark. Nothing had compared to it. “She’s fine now,” she said, closing off the line of questioning.
“And so what? When you found out about the baby, he didn’t want to be pushed into raising another man’s child?” Cristiano could only imagine how he would have felt in a similar circumstance.
“No, again. He’s far better than you give him credit for. He would have done anything I’d wanted. But I couldn’t do it to him. I couldn’t ask him to devote his life to me, and our child, when I knew I’d never love him. He deserved better. Angus deserved a wife who loved him properly. Openly and honestly.”
“So he left you pregnant and alone?”
“You left me pregnant,” she retorted angrily. “And don’t make it sound like I was some kind of weak, pathetic lovelorn woman in need of rescuing. I’ve done great. I’ve done fine. I’ve had my sisters, and now I’ve got Marie and Jackson, and even without all of them, I would have coped. I would have.” Tears strained her voice. “And Milly is perfect.”
Silence hummed between them with the weight of accusations and doubts. “Let’s be clear about one thing. I am her father. I am going to raise her. Whether that’s here or in Brazil or America depends entirely on how reasonable you are prepared to be.”
The bottom began to crumble out of Ava’s world.
She stared up at him, while her body coursed with hot and cold. “You’re actually suggesting … are you threatening to take her from me?”
“No. I never make threats. Threats are idle. Threats are useless. I make promises.”
“I don’t understand.”
He grunted. “You evidently understand nothing about me. So let me be clear as this day is bright. I am her father. She is my child. You? You are just the woman who kept me from my own kin. Nothing more. You are nothing to me now but a liar I once loved.”
CHAPTER SIX
“I’m her mother.” The words were a choked plea into the silence of the car. The atmosphere buzzed with tension; the distant rumbling of the waves was magnifying her sense of panic.
He didn’t respond at first. What could he say?
“Did you actually believe I wouldn’t want to be a part of her life?”
“You wanted to travel,” she managed, her desperation obvious. She spun in her seat and put a hand on his arm. This time, he didn’t jerk away. “You told me a thousand times that you wanted to see the world. You would never have been happy living as I have.”
“Have you been happy?” He pushed, his dark eyes angrily scanning her face.
“I…” She shut her mouth in consternation. “I’m different to you.” Her tone was unconsciously belligerent. “I never sought the lifestyle you did. We both knew that. Having Milly hasn’t changed my life for the worse in any way.”
“As it would have mine?” He prompted with rich disbelief.
“Yes!” She ran a hand through her hair in exasperation. “You would have found it utterly constricting.”
“You don’t know that, and you had no place to form that assumption. Certainly not to act on it.”
She closed her eyes. Breathing was difficult. What could she say to him? What explanation could she offer that would make amends?
“I thought … I truly believed … that you would be glad. If I had imagined you would feel this way …”
“I am not expecting you to have a crystal ball. Only a mouth and the ability to use a telephone.”
“Cristiano,” she whispered softly. “I came to you.”
“Yes. And you left. You left when you should have stayed and made me hear. Admit it, Ava, you didn’t really want to tell me, or you would have.”
“I travelled to Rio; does that really sound like I didn’t mean for you to know?”
“Yes,” his laugh was without humour.
Ava would never get through to him. Cristiano had made up his mind, and perhaps he was right. She certainly could have left a note with the housekeeper, or emailed him with the words I AM PREGNANT WITH YOUR BABY in the subject.