“I had an apple this morning. American time.”
The doctor frowned, but it was nothing to the glower or Raffa’s face. “And before that?”
Chloe blinked. “I… can’t remember.”
“Do you make a habit of skipping meals?” The doctor asked, removing the cuff and taking a thermometer from his bag. He placed it under Chloe’s tongue so she shot him a look of pique. He answered with a smile, before removing the thermometer.
“No,” she answered. “I’ve just been…forgetful lately. Out of routine.”
The doctor lifted his gaze to Raffa’s face then returned his attention to Chloe.
“How have you been sleeping?”
She swallowed. “Fine.”
“Chloe?” It was Raffa now, and he crouched down beside her. “Tell the truth.”
How did he know? How did he know that she tossed and turned all night every night, as though each shift might somehow fill the empty, gaping void inside of her?
“Not well,” she answered, staring at the ceiling.
“Is this the first time you’ve fainted?”
“Yes. No. I nearly did when I heard the news about Malik,” she whispered. “I was so surprised. It just hit me that I hadn’t been here…” Her eyes flew to Raffa’s face and she felt a sob welling inside of her. She hadn’t been here for him – she loved him, she loved him with all that she was and she’d walked away from him. She’d done it to protect him, but how she wished she could have comforted him as well!
His eyes met hers for a brief second before jerking away, a muscle throbbing at the base of his jaw.
“Have you been sick at all? Any viruses? Flus? Nausea?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I mean, I don’t feel great a lot of the time at the moment, but I think that’s just because I’m not sleeping well.”
The doctor nodded, but his brows were drawn together.
“Do you mind if I touch you, Chloe?”
“Touch me?”
“I just want to check your abdomen.”
She frowned. “Why?”
“Has it occurred to you that you might be pregnant?”
Beside her, Raffa stilled. And she hated, more than anything, in that moment that she was going to disappoint him. That he had this glimmer of hope, that a baby had been conceived, and she was going to fail him – as always.
“I’m not pregnant,” she said. For all the reasons she’d left him, she still couldn’t reveal the truth about her inability to conceive. He would still feel honour-bound to tear up those divorce papers, and they’d both be locked in a loveless, childless marriage. He deserved so much better than that.
“Let’s just double-check,” the doctor said, and because there was no harm that could come from the inspection, Chloe nodded.
He pressed his fingers against her abdomen, low, and she startled at the feel of another man’s hands on her body. Though his touch was clinical, it was odd to have anyone touching her, besides Raffa.
She knew, without even consciously making the decision, that she would never be with another man again. Not for as long as she lived.
“I thought as much,” the doctor said, a large smile on his face as he stood.
“What is it?” Chloe pushed to sitting.
“You’re about three months along, I’d say. We’ll need to run tests to confirm the date, but there’s no mistaking it. If you were any earlier in the pregnancy, I wouldn’t have been able to feel the baby.”