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His fears were so understandable, but all this heartbreak...

‘And I’m a Qadir,’ she said quietly, trying to hold onto a hint of the bitterness that had been their stock in trade for generations.

He returned her stare unflinchingly. ‘You’re the woman I love.’

Her breath caught.

‘And I am still half terrified that my love will ruin you, but I have realised something very important in the long months since you left the palace.’

She waited, impatient, desperate.

‘You were right that night. This should have been your decision. You know what the risks are to our marriage, and you know that it will change many things for you, including, perhaps, your relationship with your brother. But these are your choices to make, not mine. I pushed you away, as I push everyone away, because that seemed better than taking this gamble. Yet it isn’t mine to take.’

His voice was deep, gravelled.

‘Only let me assure you that if you wish to make your life with me, I will do everything within my power to keep you safe and make you happy.’

She was silent. Dumbfounded.

‘I know I hurt you.’ Now, finally, he touched her. The lightest brush of his fingertips to hers. ‘It was something I swore I wouldn’t do yet in trying to protect you that’s exactly what happened.’

She tilted her face away, tears stinging her eyes. ‘You did hurt me,’ she agreed softly. ‘You pushed me away at a time when you could have used my support. You made me irrelevant. You’re not the first person to do that, but it hurt the worst with you because I expected so much more.’

He groaned. ‘I acted on instinct.’

She bit down on her lip, nodding. ‘And I went home, and I waited, and I thought of you, and I have missed you every single day and you’ve been nowhere. It was as though it never happened. And now you’re asking me to forget, and feel as I did then?’ Her heart was battered and mangled and yet it was also bursting. Her defiant speech felt good to throw at him, but it wasn’t really how she felt. She watched her words hit their mark, the pain in his face, the apology she felt in his eyes.

‘I came here knowing you might not want what you did then. But still I had to explain. I didn’t ask you to leave because I didn’t love you. I loved you too much to have you stay. And I love you now, too much to fight you. Just know that you will always be my reason for being, Johara. Whether you’re with me or not, everything I do will be for you.’

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it lightly, and she tilted her head back to his, facing him. ‘I love you.’

He offered the words so simply, and they pushed inside her, shaking her out of the state she was in. This was really happening. He was standing in front of her pouring his heart out and she was holding onto the anger she’d felt. Was she doing exactly the same thing he had? Pushing him away because she was scared of being hurt again?

Maybe love always brought with it a sense of danger—and the gamble made the pay-off so much sweeter.

‘So what are you saying?’ she asked quietly, surprised her voice sounded so level when her insides were going haywire.

‘Is that not obvious?’

She shook her head. ‘I think I need you to say it.’

He nodded, his Adam’s apple shifting as he swallowed. ‘I wish I could go back to that night and change everything I said and did. I wish I had pulled you into my arms, thanked you for what you were offering and walked hand in hand with you to deal with the problems that faced us. Not me. Us. About our countries.’ Her lips parted as she drew in a shaky breath.

‘But I cannot go back in time, and I cannot change what I did then. So I am promising you my heart, and my future, and everything I can share with you. I am asking you to marry me, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I am asking you to be not just my wife, and the mother of my children, but a ruler at my side. You are brilliant and brave and your instincts are incredible. I would be lucky to have you as my wife, and Ishkana would be blessed to have you as its Queen. I’m asking you to look beyond the past to the future that we could have. And in exchange I promise that I will never again fail you. I will never again fail to see your strength and courage, to understand what you are capable of.’

Tears fell unchecked down her cheeks now. He caught one with the pad of his thumb, then another, wiping her face clean.

‘Don’t cry.’ The words were gruff. ‘Please.’

She laughed, though, a half-sob, a sign of how broken and fixed she felt all at once.

‘Damn it, Amir, I wanted to hate you,’ she said, stamping her foot. ‘I have missed you so much.’

‘I know.’ He groaned, pulling her towards him, holding her close to his body. ‘That is mutual.’

She listened to his heart and knew that it was beating for her, just as it always had. She stayed there with her head pressed to his chest, listening, believing, adjusting to the reality she was living, to the happiness that was within reach. They both had to be brave, but the alternative was too miserable to contemplate.

She blinked up at him, smiling. ‘Let’s go home, Amir.’


Tags: Clare Connelly Billionaire Romance