‘And he wasn’t in your life?’
‘Not at all.’
Thanos frowned, wondering if this was why she hadn’t questioned his assertion that Dion simply hadn’t liked him. She understood, apparently better than most, that the bonds of parenthood didn’t necessarily guarantee love and loyalty of the life-laying-down variety. Unless... ‘Is he dead?’
Her smile was genuinely amused. ‘No. You think a guy has to be dead to be a deadbeat dad?’
‘Of course not.’
Alice sighed softly, her breath brushing his temples, so he felt a kick of desire that almost overwhelmed him with an urge to act on it.
‘My mother was only nineteen when she met him. She thought they were in love. He seduced her, promised her the world, slept with her and then vanished into thin air.’ She cleared her throat. ‘It’s part of the reason I couldn’t believe I’d been so stupid with Clinton, you know? I was so determined I wouldn’t become my mother and then I walked right into the exact same situation. It’s almost like all her warning me off men somehow tempted fate and led me right to the same kind of douche who’d broken her heart.’
Thanos nodded thoughtfully. ‘There are some men out there who get a kick out of hurting
women.’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know if that’s what it was with either of them. Clinton was immature and, yes, he did hurt me. But my father was so much worse. He made a calculated and determined effort to seduce my mom. He really did promise her so much, and he fought for her to fall in love with him. He set out to hurt her, I think.’
‘Why?’
‘I don’t know. Sport? A game? Power? I can’t fathom it. But it’s irrefutable that he went out of his way to make her love him and then vanished.’
Thanos frowned. ‘When she discovered she was pregnant, did she contact him?’
‘Yeah.’ Alice’s voice was hoarse. ‘Even then, she wanted to believe it had all been some kind of mistake, that he’d been called away on urgent family business or something. She loved him. She thought it was a dream come true.’
Alice reached her hand out, grabbing the soda that was at her side, and took a sip, replacing it with a little frown on her pink lips. ‘He did everything he could to evade her, and when she finally caught up with him, she discovered he was engaged to someone else. Her world came crashing down around her that afternoon.’
‘And she told you this?’
‘She told me enough. She wanted to warn me off men like my father.’ Alice’s grimace was loaded with grief. ‘And to warn me off men in general, I think. My mother, once bitten, was definitely twice shy. She couldn’t even accept that, while my father had been an out-and-out cheat, there might be a man out there who would love her and accept her and do everything he could not to hurt her.’
Thanos lifted a brow, his eyes skimming Alice’s face thoughtfully.
‘What?’
‘Nothing.’ He shook his head.
‘I’m serious. What?’
And despite the tone of their conversation, a little laugh escaped him. ‘It’s just...do you think either you or I are in a position to judge her for that?’
Alice regarded him inquisitively.
‘You don’t think you push men away because you’re traumatised by what she went through? And what you then went through with Clinton?’
Alice’s expression tightened. ‘No.’
‘Alice.’ He reached a hand out, lacing his fingers through hers. ‘That’s not a criticism.’
‘Isn’t it?’
‘No. I happen to think pushing people away is an excellent life choice.’ His voice was layered with light sarcasm. ‘I only mean it’s understandable that your mother didn’t feel like she wanted to jump back into dating someone after all of that.’
Alice was quiet, but the column of her throat shifted as she swallowed. ‘She also worked. A lot. We were pretty broke, so she had to work long hours and I don’t think a love life really fit into that.’ She expelled a soft, impatient breath. ‘The thing is, when you said you hated your dad, I understood. I understand. Because I hate mine, even though I’ve never met him.’ She fixed him with a steady stare, her eyes swirling with ice. ‘I’ve made my peace with the fact he didn’t want to be a parent. That he never wanted to know me.’ The husk of her voice, though, betrayed her—she hadn’t really made her peace with it.
Who could?