‘No.’
Alice frowned. ‘Did you know he was involved in the mob?’
‘No.’ His nostrils flared as he breathed out, and he reached a hand towards her, running his fingers over her plait, flicking the tail distractedly. ‘I am not being intentionally vague.’
‘I know that.’ She grimaced. ‘I guess it’s not exactly your favourite topic.’
His eyes flew to hers, cinnamon clashing with burnt butter. ‘I never speak about him.’
‘I didn’t mean to be invasive.’
He frowned, because, strangely, he hadn’t felt that she was. ‘It’s fine.’ He flipped onto his back, staring at the sky. ‘If we are to convince Kosta that I am a changed and happily married man, it’s important we know each other well. We have no way of knowing what conversations will come up when we are at Kalatheros.’
He didn’t see the small frown that crossed Alice’s face, so couldn’t have guessed the reason for it.
‘I was not afraid of him, but nor did I feel affection for him. I suppose, if anything, I was wary of him.’
‘Wary of your own father?’
Thanos nodded, a muscle jerking in his jaw. ‘He was...erratic, at best. And I think he didn’t like me, so what time we spent together was shaped by that dislike.’
‘That would have been very hard to live with.’
He appreciated that she didn’t try to argue with him. He could have imagined an outsider might have insisted that of course Dion had liked him. But Thanos was no fool, and his father’s sentiments had been made abundantly clear over the years.
‘I didn’t particularly like him either,’ Thanos quipped, in a futile attempt to lighten the mood. ‘Leonidas—my half-brother—is only three months older. When my mother left me on Dion’s doorstep, it heralded the end of my father’s marriage.’
‘Because you were...’
‘Proof he’d cheated,’ Thanos finished for Alice. ‘Though I’m sure Leonidas’s mother must have known even before I showed up. My mother was not the only mistress Dion spent time with.’
He looked at Alice in time to catch the sympathy in her expression. Strangely, he didn’t resent it in the way he usually might. Thanos never welcomed sympathy or pity. Even as a child, he’d pushed back against those emotions.
‘That’s not your fault, though. How could he dislike you, because of it?’
Thanos let out a soft laugh. ‘I was also a pretty unlovable child.’
Alice didn’t laugh in response. ‘How can you say that about yourself?’
‘It’s true. Even my own mother couldn’t bear to be with me.’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘Because it is honest.’ He reached a finger out, tracing the line of her lower lip. ‘The last thing she said to me, before leaving me at Dion’s—a man I didn’t even know existed—was that she couldn’t handle being my mother any more.’
Alice’s sharp intake of breath did something to his gut. The wall of cement he kept locked in place to shield those memories from prying minds and fingers developed a crack. He welded over it, plastering a dismissive smile on his face.
‘I was a handful. I don’t blame her.’
‘Well, I do!’ she snapped. ‘How could she say that to you? At eight years old!’
‘I probably deserved it.’
Alice glared at him. ‘No eight-year-old deserves that.’
‘I was stubborn, sullen, demanding, and difficult.’
‘So are all kids. In different measure, admittedly,’ she said, a little frown forming on her face. ‘But if she really felt like that, then there had to have been other options besides just depositing you with a father you didn’t know you had.’