“Anything?” Zayn asked with a confidence he was far from feeling, as Julia walked slowly around his house, running her hands over furniture and presumably trying to remember.
She turned to face him and shrugged. “No. But I guess I wasn’t here long before the accident.”
Accident. It was a safe euphemism they’d stuck to by silent consensus; so much less confronting than attack. The hospital staff had urged him not to reveal details to her, and Zayn was afraid that once he started giving her information, it would all unravel around him. And he simply wasn’t ready to go back to the way things were before. She’d been so sad then, like a heartbroken version of herself. Now, he had what he really wanted; Julia in his life because she wanted to be there. Or believed she did, at least, a small voice warned him in his mind. After all, it couldn’t last forever. He just had to hope that he’d make enough ground up before she recalled all the gruesome facts of their relationship.
“Do you mind not remembering?” He asked, unable to resist pulling her gently into his arms, and holding her against his chest.
He felt her shake her head against his shirt. “It’s still early.” She lifted her eyes to his. “I’m sure I’ll remember soon enough.”
He looked away, certain now that he didn’t want her to. “Perhaps. At least you have most of the important stuff,” he said reassuringly.
“It’s just so strange that I wouldn’t remember anything about us,” she grumbled. “You’re the love of my life and I don’t remember anything about how we got here.”
“But you remember that I’m the love of your life.” He said with a small smile. “That’s the important detail.”
“I don’t think a thousand head blows would allow me to forget that fact.” She said confidently. “I’m going to give Georgie a call later. I emailed her from hospital but I think speaking to her will bring a lot back.”
Zayn stiffened imperceptibly. “You can’t, Julia. You know what the doctors said. You mustn’t rush it. Pushing too hard for answers may have the opposite effect.”
She let out a frustrated sigh. “Easy for you to say. You know everything.”
He laughed. “Perhaps not everything.”
“Most things, then,” she conceded with a teasing grin.
She was so close, and her body so pliant against his, that he felt the familiar stirring of need in his gut. Julia lifted her hand to his belt buckle, and she hooked her finger inside the clasp, so that she was so close to his manhood.
“Julia,” he hissed from between his teeth.
Her expression was sultry when she lifted her face to his. “Yes, Zayn?”
He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what he wanted. He had known he couldn’t sleep with her when it was all about the money he’d paid her father. The mercenary act of making love was definitely a turn off for him. But this was different. Julia now had no recollection of their marriage deal. She wanted him because she desired him.
It was a game changer. Or it should have been, at least.
There was a deeper moral concern for Zayn; that she only wanted him because she believed their marriage to be genuine. Was it wrong to be with her under those conditions?
Sensual challenge was in every feature of her face. Her eyes glowed with a sheen of need that took his breath away.
Zayn took in a deep breath, thinking he must be some kind of idiot. “We can’t. It’s too soon after your accident.”
Julia lifted her brows, and pulled sharply at his belt so that it came away from his pants. “Did the doctor say that?” She asked challengingly, as she slowly slid the zipper of his pants down.
Zayn was very still, capable only of watching as the woman he’d blackmailed into marriage flicked open his pants and pressed her hand against his erection. As her fingers slid inside his underwear and made contact with his warm flesh, and Zayn stifled an oath. Julia’s eyes flew to his.
“I want you, Zayn. You’re my husband, and I need to be with you.”
Zayn wanted her more than he’d known it was possible to want a woman, but still, he held onto his resolve. “I don’t want to complicate things for you, Julia. Your injury was a bad one, and you should be resting.”
She wrapped her fingers around him, stroking with her thumb, and her eyes locked with his. “I don’t know why, but I know this is important. I need to be with you, Zayn. Please.”
“Come with me,” and he laced his fingers through hers and pulled her towards his bedroom. Zayn ignored the stiff feeling of compunction that assuaged him.
Julia paused on the threshold to his room, and for the briefest of moments, he saw a frown cross her face.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, great.” She lifted her eyes to his. “It’s just… I thought our bedroom at least would bring back some memories.”