It turned out to be pretty effective and I’d been working a good five minutes before I realised that the car wasn’t moving.
I looked up from the screen and, sure enough, we were still sitting right outside my hotel, while Ellie stared at me in the rear-view mirror.
‘You do know I have a meeting in twenty minutes I have to get to, don’t you?’ I snapped.
Her small, pointed chin lifted, green gleaming in her eyes. ‘You do know that you don’t have to be an arsehole, don’t you?’
People didn’t call me on my behaviour normally; I was too rich, too powerful. Certainly they never called me on it the way Ellie was doing right now.
I didn’t like it.
Perhaps because you know already that you’re acting like a prick?
My temper pulled on the leash I kept it on, growling and snapping like a beast. Of course I was acting like a prick. I always acted like a prick. Did she really expect anything different from me just because we’d had sex?
She probably expects you to act like a human being and not a petty bastard.
I gritted my teeth, glowering at her. ‘What? You don’t like me snapping at you? Too bad. I snap at everyone. Don’t take it personally.’
Her jaunty smile had vanished and I was bastard enough to be happy about it. ‘Would it kill you to be nice? Even for a second?’
‘Yes,’ I growled.
There was a very disapproving silence.
‘What?’ I grumbled bad-temperedly, not sure why I was conceding this to her. ‘You want an apology?’
The expression on her face was uncompromising; of course she wanted a fucking apology.
I let out a breath. I never apologised, not to anyone, not after spending most of my childhood feeling as if I had to apologise for my very existence. And certainly not after I’d discovered how much power anger and not giving a shit gave me.
But for some reason, I gave a shit now.
‘I’m sorry for snapping at you,’ I said, graceless and brusque. ‘There. Happy?’
She frowned at me. ‘Are you angry because I didn’t come up to your room last night?’
The question was unexpected and abrupt, making something hot flash through me. I definitely wasn’t angry about that. Was I?
‘No,’ I lied, very conscious of the tension gathering in my shoulders and the sullen burn of my temper.
She ignored my denial as if I hadn’t spoken. ‘Look, I’m sorry about yesterday, but I—’
‘Couldn’t get away from me fast enough?’ The words came out before I could stop them and as soon as I’d spoken I wished I hadn’t. Christ, I sounded pathetic. Like a hurt child.
But to my surprise, Ellie glanced away, colour creeping into her cheeks. ‘I thought it would be easier if I didn’t.’
‘Easier for whom? Certainly easier for you.’
The long, dark lashes veiling her gaze were streaked with gold in the sunlight coming through the windscreen. ‘I didn’t think you’d care. It was only sex. No big deal, right?’
Good point. It was only sex and very much not a big deal. And yet, here I was, turning it into one. Great sex, sure, but ultimately sex I could get from someone else.
She wasn’t special. I could get hunger and fire and desperation from any woman, it didn’t have to be her.
But the kind of instinctive trust she gave you?
I shoved that thought away before it could take root.